Anon doesn't believe in microwaves | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 03/09/21(Tue)12:04:48 No.849177823 >no fire >spinning plate (???) 107 KB JPG >hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm >beep beep beep beep >food is hot just imagine believing in microwave 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anons rape dwarf diary day2 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/12/18(Tue)06:29:08 No.46056985 >sister let the r--- dwarf out >hear it scuttling through the walls not like this 41 KB JPG 7 Replies / 5 Images View Thread

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Anon lives the EU | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/16/18(Sat)12:04:11 No.6802485 >be me >be a European >heard EU is banning memes >could land in jail for literally using any copyrighted image >have to hand draw memes now 1.34 MB JPG >mfw

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Anon has somebody watching their back | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)20:44:00 No.857076209 >be 2nd grade teacher >school is in low-income, high- crime neighborhood >one of my kids often gets picked up by his grandpa >grandpa is an OG who used to be a gangbanger in the 80s, spent 1.19 MB JPG some time in prison, and got his s--- together >he's big and scary-looking, but super f------ nice >leave the school after working late one day, some dudes walk up to me and ask what time it is >look down at my watch and one of them sucker punches me >try to fight back but it's 3-on-1 >get my watch, phone, and wallet taken >next day during dismissal >students grandpa notices bruises, asks what the hell happened >oh I got jumped by some guys on my way home >he asks what they looked like >don't know but I remember they drove away in a white Camaro >he nods and says okay >about a week later, student comes back and hands me a plastic bag from his backpack >inside is my phone, wallet, and watch >see a news report a few months later about a white Camaro found at the bottom of a nearby lake >owner is still missing

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Anon appreciates cinema | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)13:53:14 No.860762431 >be me, 18 virgin >chad friend manages to arrange a girl to go on a date with me >we decide to watch "1917" on cinema >things going well Wow, cool movie, seems like all in one- take 130 KB JPG Incredible stuff >girl starts flirting and leans in for a kiss What moviemaking skills True cinema craftmanship >we get out of the cinema and she doesnt say a word >friend says she is mad, asks me what happened >say idk Looking back, not my greatest moment lol

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Femanon goes on a date with a scumbag | /r/Greentext

File: 3164f38895aa95e07220377ee(.).jpg (76 KB, 500x500) O Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)18:56:32 No.64921479 ► I'M SORRY. PLEASE DON'T HURT ME ANYMORE. >>64922008 >>64922244 >64922447 >>64922472 >>64922598 >>649 >deaf girl >Decide to ask this really hot guy out >He texts me back and we decide to go outside >We meet go eat at this restaurant and we sit outside >2 guys I assume his friends come >They start making fun of me >Making funny faces and parodying me with their hands Despite the fact I was texting with the guy not using SL >he joins them >l am visibly crying but they just laugh at me >Go to the toilet and cry the hardest I ever cried > Spend 20 minutes there >Return >They are gone >l end up paying for both >Go home >Want to die Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)18:59:08 No.64921525 ► >64922440 >>64921479 (OP) sad feels. People are assholes, they pick you apart for the things you don't choose. Chin up, keep trying.

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Chad Cicada | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 857481178 >wait 17 years >wake up >scream for 4 weeks >refuse to elaborate >die 16 REPLIES 3 IMAGES

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True story | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)13:10:08 No.860733100 >be me >hiding in small cabin in the woods >2am >with wife and two kids >haven't eaten for days >prepare our last soup can >add special sauce >something_is_outside.mp3 375 KB PNG >oh f---, it's him >knocking on door and then suddenly >quiet >all the windows shatter >the door bust open >the lights flicker >it's King Bach >he looks around the room before setting his eyes on our soup >i'm on my knees begging him to stop >he smirks >Only a spoonful >he reveals his comically large spoon >he lunges at the soup >its gone in under a second >he smirks once again before falling on his knees >my wife takes off her wig to reveal it's Pope Francis >my kids take off their wigs to reveal they are the two m----- priests >King Bach's mouth is wide open > wh- what did you put in that soup >special sauce >Pope Francis frantically reads Bible verses >the demon spawn is finally banished >true story

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Anon has online class | /r/Greentext

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Anon dreams of Belle Delphine | /r/Greentext

File: belle-delphine-1564417005(.Ljpg (28 KB, 460x374) NASA O Anonymous 01/12/20(Sun)08:12:46 No.818290252 [Reply] >>818290454 >find Belle Delphine irl >she likes me and we go to my place >we start f------ >h-------- lost my virginity to Belle >dad comes into my room >wake up Why is this happening. Anonymous 01/12/20(Sun)08:16:27 No.818290454 >>818290252 (OP) He saved you from herpes. You should thank your dad.

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Happy the man and happy he alone; he who can call today his own | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous When did you realize the inter...) 08/10/21(Tue)14:37:59 No.64917545 >be me, yesterday afternoon >spend my days off getting high alone in my apartment and browsing 4chins >Decide f--- it, l'll drop by my parents house and visit them >Dad is working on the car fixing the brake line 198 KB PNG >l help him out >we chat about the family drama and how everyone is doing >l say f--- it and drop by my grandparents house to say hello >Forgot it's my grandfather's bday and a bunch of my cousins are there >We decide to play cards and have a few beers >Chat about when we were kids and how much fun we used to have >Back to my apartment >Decide that my good day shouldn't end and text some people from work to see if they want to hang out at the local bar >2 of them show up at the bar >We have a good time, even made some new friends at the bar >Walk home feeling the happiest I've been in my adult life >Start browsing /r9k/ back at my apartment and feel an overwhelming sadness

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Racial integration | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)17:35:57 No.64919763 >be me >white (britfag with celtic genes) >finally f------ a chubby girl i've been texting for a while >doggy style >midway she turns round >screams "yeah f--- me harder you f------ N ER!" 5 KB GIF >mfw >try not to laugh my arse off >confused but also slightly turned on >keep going >slip a finger in her s------ (she told me earlier she was into that) >"yeah finger my arse you f------ P---!!" what the hell is going on with white women these days

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Master of my domain | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)09:52:55 No.64914627 >l don't get it... (breathe)... I did NoFap and everything right... (breathe)... how did I succumb to prostate cancer... (flat lines)... 149 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)09:54:02 No.64914643 >>64914627 (OP) # This doesn't happen because people doing NoFap are still having sex. ..R-Right? Right?! Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)09:56:06 No.64914673 >>64914627 (OP) # >People weren't masturbating for centuries >Had no problems whatsoever >Suddenly not jerking off is a health hazard in the 21st century Yeah, right. 301 KB JPG

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