Anon loses his gym shoes | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

>> Anonymous 02/17/20(Mon)14:33:37 No.54488628 File: jimothy.jpg (5 KB, 225x225) >>54488662 >>54489507 >>54489822 >>54487163 (OP) this happened last week >go to gym reception >nice bro dude asks me whats up >ask him if they might've found my shoes, since they're not in my bag >he goes to the back to look in lost and found >comes back with my shoes >I thank him >"wow these must be new! good quality!" he says >"Haha they're not new, I'm sure they don't smell that way" I joke >he actually f------ smells one of my shoes >he just softly laughs awkwardly and hands me my shoes and wishes me a good workout

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon describes daily routine of Chinese people | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: omJpzVE)= 07/25/16(Mon)00:32:11 No.82523258 >be Chinese >wake up for work >elevator is shut down cause it cut someone in half >use stairs instead >can't use car because the garage collapsed on it >barely avoid getting swallowed by a sidewalk sinkhole >narrowly dodge a car that rolls over a 4 year old child >finally make it to train station >escalator eats the guy in front of me >10 people are trampled to death trying to get on train >train derails killing hundreds >crawl out of rubble and stumble to work >clock in at the oil refinery and light a c-------- >resulting explosion vaporizes 4 city blocks

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Anon loves his dad | /r/Greentext

File: The Feels are reals.jpg (32 KB, 400x388) Anonymous 07/10/18(Tue)18:55:05 No.773975379 >>773976017 >>773976265 >>773976565 >>773976757 >be me 8 or 7 (can't remember, long time ago) >Mom is dental hygienist >Dad works construction (carpenter & bridge builder) >they both take in a good amount of pay to live well >Dad comes home every day bloody with smashed hands, nails fall off sometimes because the nail goes dead from how hardly it gets hit >Mom and Dad divorce >I live with dad >dad gets paid small amount >dad and I are basically broke >Not enough money for cable or pleasantries >Have just enough money to keep the house and basic American necessities (electricity., water, etc.) >We eat lots of top ramen and things that come in a can >lots of caned food from safeway and places of the sort >lf at the end of the week my dad had any money left over he'd take me out for a treat, McDonalds, Jack In The Box, Carls Jr., etc. or if i needed it clothes >didn't have much money at all so that meant a lot to me even as a little kid >My mom took alot of the stuff from the house, even beds >So my dad and I slept on a air mattress in his room and watched YouTube till we got tired and went to sleep >He had to be at work early, 3am, so he had to get up at 1:30am ish >He would set an alarm next to me so I would never be late to school >never was late >He would always pick me up in his work truck and drive me home. >be me now no one will ever love me as much as that man did. He was always there for me and did the best he could to take care of me. I just wish one day l'll be able to be as good a dad as he was. Love you dad, I miss you

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........... | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/02/14(Sun)22:39:08 No.530509968 >Be me >First day of first grade >Dont really know anybody >See some girl that looks really 1.42 MB GIF cute >I start walking over >Random kid walks up >Says, yo thats my girlfriend >Girl in back starts laughing >So many emotions come forth >Decide the only logical thing to do is punch the f----- in jaw >Yell, "GET WRECKED >Nurse runs up says, "What have you done?" >Turns out I broke the f------ jaw >Never allowed to teach at that school again.

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Anon is denied medical care due to lack of friends | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)17:27:44 No.64584528 >>64582857 (OP) >no friends >no family >no casual acquaintances >have to extract cracked wisdom tooth >doctor says "you can't drive" >ok np, l'll get a taxi >"and no unaccompanied cabs or Uber" I'm being denied medical care for being a friendless loser. I don't know what to do.

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Anon visits Italy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)20:16:37 No.16426145 >be me >go to Italy >ask for macn cheese >they don't have it and laugh at me Has this s--- happened to anyone else? It's like foreign countries 10 KB JPG don't know how to make their own food. : Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)20:36:40 No.16426205 >>16426145 (OP) # (OP) That's because you didn't ask them in their own language. Next time, say "macron du fromage" >>16426226 #

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Anon has a plan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)20:48:28 No.859077312 If you could trade 1 year off your life for $10,000, how many years in total would you trade? 613 KB PNG 15 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)21:28:06 No.859079197 >2021 years >I go back in time to just before Jesus is killed >stop the spear >hailed by everyone as the hero who saved Jesus from the Jews >ask Jesus to save me >bury the $2021 dollars and leave a note somewhere for future self. >Jesus let's me be reborn in the year 2k >invest $2021 dollars in bitcoin at launch >???? >profit

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Anon's getting a gaming laptop | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 6PZN/860 Scamming f------ 12/17/19(Tue)15:23:09 No.223003614 Joined a bunch of t----- support groups, starting lying about being a teen in need of money for HRT. Finna boutta get a gaming laptop bros 9 KB PNG

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Anon is not financially responsible | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Be me 10/14/19(Mon)03:30:02 No.42892771 >walking home one night >Mugger comes out of nowhere >"Give me your wallet!" 115 KB JPG >Unload my FN Five-seveN on him instead >Realize that I used 20 rounds of 5.7*28mm ammo MFW it would have been cheaper to just hand over the wallet

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anon is not taking the vaccine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 7fjyJcNk ) O 07/06/21(Tue)18:07:35 No.329022528 >>329020999 (OP) # >door bell rings *muffled noises* >slowly lift my flabs from the table, returning all my body parts into full weight mode >the smell of 14 month old piss 59 KB JPG bottles, pizza boxes, c-- socks, tendie boxes and used tissues fill the air >make my way to the door, trying not to step into the foodrot puddles that have gathered on the floor >look through the door spyhole "Hello? Excuse me anon, this is Pam with the US Vaccine Bureau. Our records show you still have not gotten the COVID-19 vaccination. Are you available to come to the door for a moment?" >"No." >walk away from the door, back to the neet machine

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Anon passed it off as an ugly rumour | /r/Greentext

>be me >high school >there's this autistic tard called raffi (we're talking full blown rain man s--- here) who does nothing but walk around quoting s--- from TV commercials and game shows >people say he's been caught masturbating in the washrooms several times, but i always passed it off as an ugly rumour >i'm on spare, helping out in the tard department for some extra curricular >they have a private bathroom in the tard department >i think i'm alone >nope >bathroom door opens >rain man comes out with his pants around his ankles and a vacant thousand yard stare on his face >one hand is twisted into some weird shape that looks like he's trying to air guitar one of the most difficult chords ever played by jimi hendrix >other hand is jerking his c--- furiously "SUUUUUPERMARKET SWEEEEEP!" "supermarket.." "TIP TOP TAILORS!!!" "THIS... IS... JEOPARDY!" >i start yelling for the teachers aides "Um... help! Raffi! Penis!" >teachers aide comes out from another room >ushers him into the bathroom and shuts the door >my f------ heart >my f------ BRAIN >my f------ sides

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Anon finds dead deer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/19/18(Sun)11:30:03 No.47607921 Scaring childhood event thread. I'll go first: >be me >13 years ago >6th grade >on my way home from school 6 KB JPG >see dead deer on the side of the road >deer has extremely bloated stomach >want to know what's inside >get an idea on how to open it >jump on the deer >it erupts and spews rancid deer guts all over my body >it gets in my mouth and eyes causing me to vomit >l walk the rest of the way home >my mom has to rinse me off with the garden hose I sill can't eat any kind of fish without throwing up because it's reminiscent of the smell

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Anon wish he was a kid again | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)03:07:06 No.64454074 >be me 10 years ago >download some random mmorpg >never bother with doing quests or killing mobs >run around to the different areas of the world map just to explore and see cool places >sub Ivl 10 in endgame areas, die plenty of times >can just walk back to my corpse, revive and continue exploring because it was a f2p wowclone >eventually I reach the enemy faction capital >sneak around to places >having fun just by looking at the cool locations everywhere I wish I was a kid again

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