Anon is going bald | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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anon meets werwolf | /r/Greentext

File: 30A57178-4OE5-47C9-967C-4(.).png (145 KB, 550x550) O Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)14:07:18 No.858020520 >>858020749 >>858021379 Alright /b/, I've been waiting to tell this >be me >14 >year 9 - 10 >chick at our school >no friends >hisses and growls at people >legitimately believes she's a werewolf >absolute weirdo >one day, walking with friend at lunchtime >see werewolf chick >friend turns to me > just don't talk to her, don't get yourself into it, I warned you" >lonely girl >desperate >anime werewolf girl? >diamond in the rough? >idea.jpeg >introduce myself, she was hanging out in a hangout area right next to a lake, under a bridge >"Hey werewolf chick, why are you all the way down here?" >"I'm talking with my brother..." >huh.wav >no one else there > "where is he?" >"my brother is the wind, idiot" >thefuckinwhat >"you're talking with the wind?" >"he's my brother, I can hear him" >ohfuck >l was warned There's a lot more s--- this chick said and did, she was f----- insane /b/, if you want more, I can supply

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Anon makes a power move | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)13:44:24 No.858011798 >match with women on dating apps >send dismissive comments like you mistook them for a t----- >make them seethe and destroy their confidence >??? 293 KB JPG >profit Bonus points for not believing them when they tell you they aren't trans, making them guess why you thought they were trans, "I could have sworn I saw an Adam's apple in your pics," accusing them of transphobia when they rage, asking if they're still down to f---, etc Remember - keep it subtle.

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Anon fights an infestation | /r/Greentext

>have pubic lice (crabs) D>no shampoo works >decide to get some fire ants and place on pubes to fight the crabs >they scrap for a bit >they both have established strongholds on the opposite ends 2 KB JPG of my jungle >to the north lie the wiley crabs of pubendorf >to the south lie the barbaric fire ants of fort scrotum >one morning notice a fire ant on horseback riding towards the crabs stronghold >look closer >its a f------ threaty of alliance F--- f--- their joining sides!!! There is a rumble in my jungle and i dont what to do about it

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Anon makes Stacy seethe | /r/Greentext

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Anon hates Euros | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 1tY2bDRN ) [-] 06/29/21(Tue)23:47:15 No.328049506 >>328049029 (OP)_# >kneeling >players wearing rainbow arm bands >rainbow advert >JUST EAT 62 KB JPG I am so tired of this s--- lads. >>328049705 # >>328049783 # >>328049817 # >>328050530 # >>328052512 # >>328052799 # >>328053549 # >>328053986 #

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Anons mind betrays him | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)21:44:31 No.852377973 >Take a small amount of ambien >Wake up early in the middle of the night >Have to take a huge s--- >Can feel it bubbling in my stomach 79 KB JPG >Run to the nearest bathroom as fast as I can >Sit on the toilet, push with all of my might >S--- blasts out of my a------ like a cannon >Relief >Go back to bed >Wake up covered in s--- >mfw >Was it all a dream?

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Anon goes for a bus ride | /r/Greentext

File: 1397869325631.jpg-6 KB, 178x209, 1382698384194.jpg) Anonymous 04/18/14(Fri)21:02 No.26181005 >started drinking a new whey protein tub >looks weird as f--- but it had "extreme" all over it so i know it had to be good >drinking it >.. >s---- pretty good >leave to go to the store >get on the bus >stomach starts rumbling >let out small fart >no one seemed to notice IT BEGINS >let out another one >no one seemed to notice >about 2 mins go by >dubstep song comes on >woommmmmmmmmmmm wommmmmm wopppppp wopppppp!!! >think i can mask out the larger farts in the beat drop of the dubstep song >farting enough to power a small city >feel a relief in my stomach >bus smells of eggs and spinach >people are gagging under there breaths and giving me really weird looks >some guy at the back of the bus started bursting out laughing when i turned my head >then it hit me >i had my headphones in the whole time >mfw

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Incel displays his sigma grindset on the libsoy virgins | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I hate women because they are (...) 06/30/21(Wed)13:17:24 No.64377545 I f------ hate women. Every time I see a beautiful woman on the street it just fills me with rage because no woman will ever love me. At this point I don't even want to have sex. I just want to be hugged nad comforted, but no, I'm destined to die alone, only ever seeing beauty from a distance. I want to die already. I'm 25, I can't take another 25 years of this, let alone 50 or if i'm really unlucky and medical technology keeps progressing, 75 or more. Please just let me get hit by a f------ truck 61 KB JPG

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Anon practicing small talk | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)13:41:38 No.64377723 >walking to convenience store to buy snacks >see random girl, about my age with a nirvana shirt on >me: "hey whats your favorite nirvana song?" 8 KB JPG >her: "i dont know" >me: "but youre wearing the shirt" >her: "please stop" >me: "what?" >her: "youre being creepy" >me: "define creepy" >her: "no... just leave me alone please"

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Anon dodged a bullet there literally | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/27/21(Sun)07:02:22 No.16343313 SUP >>16337080 # >be a kid in 2000 >walking up to a pizza hut with my familia >just about to grab the door handle >it flies open 997 KB GIF >GET OUT DA WAY GET OUT DA WAY >3 dudes in all black run out >carrying literal bags of money >last one pokes me in the chest with his gun >the pile into a waiting SUV >dad shoves us tf inside >I still just want pizza >they want us to stay for witness testimony >dad says yeah naw and we go somewhere else >barely recognize the gravity of what just happened to this day I am aware that I was a trigger pull away from being killed but it's never felt like a big deal. and I still love pizza hut.

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OP robs a bank | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/29/21(Tue)10:40:39 No.49798890 >>49795029 (OP) # >Be me >running comfy security job >got reassigned to a bank, bit different to running parking lots but still comfy >sitting browsing on my phone when I 38 KB JPG hear something near the safe >grab my flashlight and my glock and head over to check it out >the safe is busted wide open and there's a man shoving the contents up his ass >mfw it's OP >mfw I was reassigned to a sperm bank >>49799195 # >>49800710 # >>49803514 # >>49805137 # >>49808351 # >>49808839 #

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Anon did it all for the nookie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)10:59:52 No.64373984 >Be molestedcel >Got diddled by methhead f-- dad >Happened from ages of 12-17 >Made me suck and f--- him >Made me do it raw >When I couldn't get hard he would whip me with garden hose 42 KB PNG >Beaten with a sack of oranges >peed on sometimes etc. >l was also forced to j------- in front of his Biker friends in the pool room >The sick f------ made me wear J-- schoolgirl outfits sometimes >Then they would chase me round the pool playing limp bizkit while trying to sodomize me with dildos >I tried to kill myself twice >Got taken into child protective services >Thought I was safe with my former alcoholic teen mom >She started to abuse me both sexually and physically | >Made me eat her out >Made me c-- in her mouth >She also forced me to crossdress and go out to clubs as her "little sister" >She made me star in her sick homemade p----- when I was 16 >Her w----- boyfriend made me f--- a poodle on camera at knifepoint >On my seventeenth birthday I ran away and lived with some religious Canadian people in Alberta >Can't trust anyone >Can't get close to anyone >Have ED >Have ptsd

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