Anon gets laid | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: meme78.png (26 KB, 140x131) O Anonymous 06/24/21(Thu)14:29:22 No.64295459 >robot >kissless handholdless >chick from work actually seems to like me >go to a bar and get drunk >back to my place >making out shitsactuallygoinggood.mpeg >getting naked >about to do the sex >worried l'll finish fast >heard if you count the strokes in your head, it would distract you from c------ >do that >finish >she starts acting weird and leaves butwhyyy.zip >says it was really weird that I was yelling out numbers >counted all the way to about 750 might have the tism

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon dates his friends ex | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)18:55:55 No.64306678 >finally get a gf >my friend's ex >he doesn't mind >everything seems cool >just found out they made a fetish video when they were dating >features her in bondage getting 121 KB GIF spanked >was uploaded to multiple p--- sites >everyone but me knew about it Now I always feel awkward as f--- whenever I hang out with the dude. It's also weird whenever I chill at someone's house and both my gf and her ex/my friend are there. I feel like everyone is secretly judging me. : Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)18:59:38 No.64306717 >>64306678 (OP) # >7billion people on earth >dates his friends ex Youre actually pathetic

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Anon works at Nintendo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)13:35:31 No.857648287 This video contains content from Nintendo, who has blocked it on copyright grounds. 0:00 / 0:00 とげとげタルめいろ"スーパードンキーコング2" 6M views 9 years ago 211K 1.4K Save taia777 SUBSCRIBE 65.5K subscribers 2C36A64F-0375-49A3-91DF-8F77FB3E6982.jpg 100 KB JPG >be me >work at Nintendo >see infamous video on YouTube of a song from old Nintendo game >comments about mental health and peoples lives >people are actually having fun and enjoying themselves >tfw song is being promoted as well as letting people enjoy themselves >daddy Reggie sees this >orders me to strike the video or else l'll be whipped again >delete it while trembling >tfw Nintendo loves their community and wants to give back

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Anon is assembling a team | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Im assembling a team 06/25/21(Fri)19:01:35 No.64306738 Only the best 36 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)19:03:09 No.64306747 >well well well, look what the kitty cat dragged in my door. I guess you won't stand a chance without me >im in 54 KB JPG Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)19:03:53 No.64306757 >>64306738 (OP) # You're putting togesser a team you say? 134 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)19:07:57 No.64306798 >I told you l'm done with that life >but...if shes really in danger then... I will do what I must 482 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)19:16:24 No.64306885 >you crazy mofo you know i have a family now... >f--- ok but this is the LAST one! promise me no b------- this time 33 KB JPG

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So money and she doesn't know it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)08:00:21 No.62181826 >>62176150 # That's nothing > Be me > Walk to appartment complex's 7 KB PNG front door > 8/10 Qtpie > Says "Hello. How was your day?" > F-fine, hbu? Thanks fir asking. I answer. > "Are you going to (...)'s party too?" she says. > No, I live here. > She begins saying weird s--- as the door opens. >Tfw. I see she's on the phone when she turns and walks in. > She clicks on the elevator and looks at me weirdly. > Tfw. she wasn't talking to me the entire time. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaa aaaaAaaaAAAAAAaaaa

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Anon wants to kill people | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)10:51:04 No.857639150 >be me a year ago >say I was going to kill a bunch of рeople >someone notified the FBI >Family gets calls from special agent >i never heard anything >mfw I unironically might have an 89 KB JPG | FBI agent

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We're all retards here but OP is like a super saiyan retard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous = 06/25/21(Fri)08:52:25 No.64299551 >one that came out of the vagina that also has a vagina will be my gf if I destroy my being and enter the ether then ascend God damn. Is it really that hard to find sex and love these days? 323 KB PNG Wat am do? : Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)08:56:51 No.64299590 >>64299551 (OP) # I really can't comprehend what the f--- you just wrote, I don't know if I'm just retarded, you are retarded, or both. Tbh the last option seems most likely to be true >>64299611 #

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Anon gets pissed easily | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)11:27:06 No.147389016 >relax on the beach >see a lot of hot teens >remember none of them are virgins >day ruined does this happen in you're c---? 169 KB JPG

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Anon is Sun Tzu | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)12:33:09 No.64302671 >psycho girl interested in me >steal someone else's pictures from /p/ and post them on my Instagram >pics of cute girl hanging out >psycho girl sees it >in a fit of rage she starts dating 280 KB JPG one of her simps to make me jealous >act like I don't care and show her a little affection >dumps her simp and starts simping for me again W----- are so disgusting

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Today was a good day | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/24/21(Thu)10:17:32 No.857557947 >be newly 26 year old neet >celebrated my birthday yesterday >go to Burger King for lunch >don't have to spend GBP 'cause it's my birthday >get 3 10 piece nuggets for 1.49 each and 2 things of tendies fries 89 KB PNG >want more but self concious of what the cashier would think so make mom get me a whopper and some more chicken fries and some normal fries >we leave and go home >on the way we pass by a McDonald's, I tell her I need to use the restroom so we stop there >ask if I can get an ice cream cone since it's my birthday >all she has is a 50 so she tells me to give her the change >walk into mcdicks >order 3 Big Macs (they aren't really that big) 3 large fries, 3 large cokes (the Big Macs fries and cokes come in a combo meal), and 20 McNuggets >get back to the car and say sorry >realize I didn't get an ice cream >run back in and get one >eat the whole way home while listening to my mom bitch at me >get home, put an extra large serving of popcorn on the stove >grab a 18oz bag of Fritos to eat while I wait for my popcorn to pop >bring the rest of the Fritos and the popcorn upstairs to eat while I browse 4chan >an hour later we go to Red Robin for my birthday dinner >get wings, nachos, fried pickles, a full onion ring tower + tendies as an appetizer >wash it all down with choccy milk >next order a chili cheeseburger with bottomless steak fries >THE FRIES WEREN'T BOTTOMLESS

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Aanndd we start listening to Elton John | /r/Greentext

: learn_french.png (291 KB, 870x700) O Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)11:02:15 No.64302483 >be me >photoshop my butthole into pepe >be you >enjoying the aesthetics of my butthole

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Anon takes no risks | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)05:01:06 No.3840992 495fab06d7c3a9f4b9103033ef665042.jpg 159 KB JPG >present in cities or suburbs >people defend them >literally attack for no f------ reason I cross the street whenever I see these f----, I'm not even going to take the risk.

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Anon found her | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)16:51:23 No.59920156 »59920161 >>59920443 >>59921273 >>59921416 File: 1599538524030.jpg (74 KB, 1024x698) >>59920067 (You) >mfw i found her insta with current pics and now she is fatter, with piercings, green hair shaved on the side

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