Anon finds a hedgehog | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 06/19/21(Sat)09:31:29 No.6421502C >be me >30 minutes ago >let my cat outside in the morning so he can do cat things >go in the kitchen >come back few seconds later and 37 KB JPG see him all crouched down staring at something >wonder what hes doing >see a f------ big hedgehog waddling at the bottom of my garden >run outside, grab my cat and bring him inside >wonder what to do >google what can you give hedgehogs to eat >says cat food >go into the kitchen and put some cat food on a plate >my cat looks up at me with jealousy even though the fat f----- has already eaten >grab the plate and go outside >hedgehog is wandering around the garden >approach it >it freezes up >"hey hey its ok" >"im a friend" >he still doesn't move >poor guy must be so scared having some ugly f----- looking right at him >walk past him and put the plate down in the bush i suspect is where he sleeps >go back inside >hes still frozen and unmoving >for about 15 seconds >he suddenly springs to life and makes his way to the bush where i put the food that was a pretty nice start to the day

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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So much for being tough on Russia, right guys? | /r/Greentext

File: Ukraine BTFO.png (137 KB, 1242x952) U And People said Trump was a Russian puppet LMAO Anonymous (ID: OyP/s1mD E 06/18/21(Fri)21:45:05 No.326489499 ► >>326489852 Disclose.tv R @disclosetv >>326489894 >>326490190 >>326490254 >>326490265 >>326490407 >>326490631 >>326491184 >>326491459 >>326492699 Joe Biden: JUST IN - White House pulls the plug > removes sanctions on Nord Stream 2 >Freezes military aid to Ukraine > says Ukraine can't join NATO due to "corruption" >Doesn't respond to Russia's hack on US oil pipeline >Gives Putin a f------ list of critical Infrastructure that mustn't be hacked >pretty much gives Russia a green light to hack everything else > Praised by Western media for "standing up to Putin" LMAO and "freezes" $100 million Ukraine military package that includes lethal weapons (Politico) 20:14 2021/06/18 Twitter Web App 980 Retweets 461 Quote Tweets 2405 Likes And people honestly thought that Donald J Trump- a man who bombed Russia's ally Assad, tried to overthrow the Russian-backed government in Venezuela, and gave lethal military aid to Ukraine- is a f------ Russian agent just because he respects Vladimir Putin and likes him as a person. Anonymous (ID: TYIO/o+T 06/18/21(Fri)21:48:22 No.326489852 >>326490153 >>326490450 >>326489499 (OP) АХАХАХАХАХАХА АХАХАХАХАХАХАХАХАХАХАХАХАХАХА O Anonymous (ID: GA14IZJI ) 06/18/21(Fri)21:48:48 No.326489894 >>326489499 (OP) Yep.

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Anon in immune to statues | /r/Greentext

File: thanos.jpg (137 KB, 992x992) O Anonymous 06/19/21(Sat)03:48:37 No.857170832 ► >congress votes to destroy every statue of a confederate general >okthatsfine.jpg >congress votes to not destroy every statue of a confederate general >okthatsfine.jpg >congress votes to replace the statue of liberty with a 200 foot tall statue of thanos >okthatsprettyweirdbutwhatever.jpg >congress votes to erect a statue of hitler in every us state capitol >okthatsprettyracistbutwhatever.jpg >ffs they're just statues >how the f--- did a generation raised on south park and family guy get triggered by statues

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Anon doesn't get out much | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)13:18:28 No.224108340 v >224108775 >>224112171 >>224113490 >>224113571 >>224118000 >>224108623 >>224108249 It doesn't exist and only men think it does Women are totally secure with their bodies and most of us actually prefer small breasts because clothes fit better Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)13:26:17 No.224108775 v >>224119640 >>224108340 >Women are totally secure with their bodies Stop that. There's a reason plastic surgery is so huge. >most of us actually prefer small breasts because clothes fit better You will never be a woman. Remember to schedule regular prostate exams once you tun 40.

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Anon scams pizza hut | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/19/21(Sat)10:01:28 No.64215286 >be me >fat ass >used to go on hacking forums before it got lame >found this guy selling Pizza Hut gift cards >$2 medium pizza, $3 large, $5 10 KB JPG stuffed crust, and $1 breadsticks >worked perfectly every single time >log on one day and its gone >he never stocked his store up again

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Anon goes to the bookstore | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/19/21(Sat)07:58:26 No.64214215 >be in Bookstore at mall >picked out a few history books about medieval era. >reading it on a bench in the store. >suddenly a few Asian teenage girls approach giggling at me asking me if these were my books. 15 KB PNG >l answer yes. >"oh ok xD" and then they left laughing What did they mean by this?

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Anon hears a monkey | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/19/21(Sat)00:28:35 No.857139685 >be me, few minutes ago >browsing phone on my bed >hear screaming outside >000H_0OH_AAАН_AAAH.mр3 >what the f--- >hear distinct steps on the 371 КВ ЈPG pavement outside >like someones running >steps get quieter >dead silence >... >look outside few minutes later >all empty What the f--- just happened? Was this even real? There was no way thos screams were from a dog or a human. If that monkey can climb im f----- : Anonymous 06/19/21(Sat)00:30:32 No.857139810 >>857139685 (OP)# It was trump, hope that you'll save him from Satan. Alas, it was too late. God r---- him. : Anonymous 06/19/21(Sat)00:31:25 No.857139866 >>857139685 (OP) # Someone is f------ with you

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Anon hates the mob | /r/Greentext

>mob kills my dog >steals my ride >anger levels reach maximum >l will have revenge >dress up >get my gear >search for every single one of those f------ until none is left alive >kill one by one >find their base >slaughter every single one of em >get my horse back >man f--- pillagers >mfw minecraft can be hardcore af sometimes >pic unrelated

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OP has an encounter with a biker gang. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/19/21(Sat)03:26:32 No.857172596 >be me, 7 >live in small desert town a few hours outside of Vegas >local diner is almost always swimming with scary looking bikers >family goes there often because poor >was always scared of the big bearded 243 KB JPG bikers >tried my best to keep my distance >one day at diner, just me and mom >mom leaves me alone to use bathroom >scared a f--- >feel massive hand grab my shoulder and nearly s--- myself Big bearded biker guy takes a seat at my table >"hey kid, I noticed you looked a little scared. Everything ok?" >nervously tell him I'm fine and that my mom is using the bathroom >we start talking about life and I start to loosen up >asks me about school and what I like to do for fun >find out him and his gang are part of BACA (Bikers Against Child Abuse) >we talk for a little longer until my mom gets back >they chat a little and he walks off >as he's walking away he turns to me and says “stay in school buddy" and winks at me >never see him again Thank you for the amazing conversation all those years ago Lamar. Because of your kindness I realized that bikers aren't mean and I ended up graduating high school recently. Hope you're doing good sir.

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Anon did(n't) get the answer he was looking for? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/19/21(Sat)01:24:02 No.857163303 >dating girl with b------- and no ass >fantasize about f------ a girl with small t--- and big ass >fast forward >dating a girl with small t--- and a nice ass 232 KB JPG >fantasize about f------ a girl with b------- What's wrong with me. 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 06/19/21(Sat)01:26:35 No.857163439 >>857163303 (OP) # Ever tried f------ an underage girl, anon?

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anon eats apples | /r/Greentext

File: apples.jpg (57 KB, 460x460) O Anonymous 09/27/19(Fri)17:28:43 No.54597642 [Reply] Enjoying the little things stories? >be me, walking past local market >pass stand with many different apples >desire to eat apple intensifies >select good-looking apple, approach apple lady to pay >"Just the one? You can just have it." >nice early fall day >walk streets eating free apple >it's super juicy and crunchy to the max, 9.5/10 >Thanks, apple lady

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Anon’s brother uses 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/19/21(Sat)02:38:16 No.64214567 >be SEA jungle asian >introduce brother to 4chan 6 years ago >went to work abroad >fast forward >return home 25 KB JPG >brother is now /pol/ tard >started idolizing Nazis and s--- >creates multiple facebook accounts just to call black people the N word >blames jews for everything >hates shows with black and dark skinned characters >sees females as nothing but "vessels for our seed and genes and nothing else" >doing sieg heils in public >showed me his trump meme collection >showed me his knife collection >starts political discussion every family dinner, throwing political buzzwords that I don't think he really understands I failed as a brother. He became /fit/ f-- too, which I think is the only good thing, I guess? you see this, bro. Please stop it. It's not too late.

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Anon is in the middle | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/16/18(Mon)21:23:24 No.774541587 >be me >charming enough for girls to hang out with me >not charming enough for girls to want to date me 22 KB JPG >aware enough to realize that i dont have a chance >autistic enough to keep having in-depth conversations with her in my head It's lonely in the middle.

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