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>Be me >Have super ashy skin (I'm white) >So bad that in the mid- summer I sometimes bleed from my skin cracking >Go to dermatologist 74 KB JPG >Get this lotion thats supposed to help >300 dollars a bottle >Get home >J------- with it

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File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

Anonymous (ID: Lvuvmf4p 11/21/24(Thu)03:45:24 No.489109549 16 KB JPG >4chan known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >X known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >reddit known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center >bluesky quickly becoming known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center Really makes you think.

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Anon is watching a movie with his family | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/23/17(Sat)23:41:57 No.88111436 v terrorpepe.jpg (29 KB, 600x600) google yandex igdb wait >>88111638 >>88111677 >watching movie with family >sex scene imminent >"b-bathroom" >get up and run to bathroom, lock door >after a minute, worry that they might be listening >slowly dump bottle of mouthwash into toilet so it sounds like i'm peeing >realize that i've been in the bathroom too long to just be peeing >start loudly making grunting noises >drop the bar of soap into toilet and let out a sigh of relief >flush, soap clogs the toilet >if i ask for the plunger, they might see that it's mom's good soap clogging it >reach in with my hands and manage to break up the soap bar >toilet flushes >realize i can't wash my hands without soap >wipe them all over my shirt, now it looks like i've been sweating >i think they'll buy it >go back to sit down with family >"jesus anon, are you okay?" >"y-yeah, haha" >"good. here, we paused the movie when you got up"

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Anon gets roasted | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/07/21(Mon)13:19:14 No.64040670 >nearly ten years ago >be 18 uind >compete shut in for six months post graduation >like to play minecraft >load up a seed, decide to leave it open for other players 31 KB JPG >player immediately loads in >it's a kid >we start talking >asks why I'm using my sister's Xbox account >w--.jpg this is my account >my username is very feminine, as I am female >he laughs and says "you don't sound like a girl" >respond "yeah well my allergies are bad so my voice sounds raspy" >he replies "o..." clears his throat, trying to make his voice deeper "well you know I'm like, 15 so... yeah... how old are you?" >little fella is clearly no older than 10 >smile and gently call him out, say "dude c'mon there's no way you're older than 10, it's okay though" >he sighs >says "yeah.... but at least I don't sound like a crusty drag queen" >he disconnects >sitting there, dumbfounded >mfw I just got roasted by a child

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Anon plays the game and wins | /r/Greentext

youknow.jpg (44 KB, 750x1000) google yandex iqdb wait I Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)23:02:22 No.856235180 v >>856235461 >>856235484 >>856236176 > Working at IT department in bank > Company currently joined the woke-train and now we get all kinds of workshops on why straight white men are the devil > Roll eyes - none of the Directors/VPs are of color.. > People start to insert moronic 'she/her' and 'his/him' to their signatures > Getting so annoyed by this, I insert 'they/them' in my signature > One of my colleagues (and one of the drivers behind this whole moronification of signatures) asks me about my signature >I reply "I don't think it's appropriate to talk about these things at work - please just respects my pronouns" > This person goes mad, accusing me of mocking the pronouns >I think "F--- it. No way for her to prove it", and step to HR to complain > Colleague is being asked to stop her questioning (and gets her first official warning), but still brings it up two more times >I go to HR again, she gets her second official warning > I'm enjoying that this moronic s--- is now biting the proponents in their ass > Again, she's alluding to my pronouns not being genuine during a meeting >I make a big scene of it (lulz), and HR gets involved again > Last Friday was her last day.

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Anon is a gamer.. | /r/Greentext

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Anon goes on dates | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Troll goes on dates 06/07/21(Mon)14:22:45 No.64037650 >be me >in a good mood >decide to go on dates with women >pick the most plastic-looking ones >"Oh nice eyebrows, if you were to blink too fast l'm afraid you would 62 KB JPG hit an airplane" >"What's up with your lips? Were you stung by a bee? You look like pufferfish!" >"Nice blush, how many kilograms did you put on"? >"Beautiful hair, but it seems more scorched than Russia from all the ironing" >"Good looking jeans, did you steal them from the 12-year-old boy's locker room? Because they seem very tight for someone your size" >"Can you tell me how much work dis you put in your contour, was it to hide your double chin I can see from across the table?" >lt was a pleasure, ladies.

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Anon lives in a dystopia | /r/Greentext

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Anon doesn’t believes in “science” | /r/Greentext

>be you >Vaccinated with Pfizer >Proud >Find out that vaccines aren't FDA approved >find out that Pfizer is a f------ boner pill company 54 KB JPG >question your life choices

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Anon doesn't need human language | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/31/21(Mon)14:14:29 No.855738093 >>855735301_(OP)# Meow Meow Meow Meow 13% Meow Meow Meow, Meow Meow Meow 52% Meow Meow. 595 KB PNG

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Anon puts himself in the shoes of an Americuck | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: UFDZFEnj ) 1 06/06/21(Sun)21:04:43 No.324893571 >>324892656 # >be american >wake up at 6am because have to work so the illegal immigrant family next door can take half your earnings >get in car >dont own it, the bank does >spend 3 hours getting to work at goldbergs s--- office inc. >on the way to the front door get confronted by a n----- >he orders you to kneel >you do because "its a blue city, just wait till they reach the suburbs" >go to slave away at the office >end job at 5 or something >walk out >get shot >call uber because its cheaper than an ambulance >get to the doc >he rejects you because you didnt get vaxxed yet >gives you the bill >go bankrupt >uber cancels your account because of some posts you made 10 years back >walk home >get shot on the way back by a n----- >oh man if he didnt live in a blue state the day of the rope would be upon us >walk in house >wife f------ a n----- >but its okay because he didnt c-- inside, otherwise you'd shoot him >n----- leaves >notice he stole your TV on the way out >chase after him >he pulls a gun >get shot >shoot him too >police arrive >get arrested for murder >hold out hands to get handcuffed >female police officer pulls out a taser >get shot by a 9mm electode instead

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Anon manipulates his ex | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/07/21(Mon)00:57:45 No.856262696 >be me, sad and lonely one night >text ex saying I miss her >psycho BPD bitch but she's an 8/10 and great sex >next morning we start talking >she'd mad at me but clearly her 67 KB JPG crazy mind still wants me >tells me how sad she was after I left >lost friends and hated herself >tell her l'm not gonna leave her anymore >tell her I care about her >f--- that night >c-- >immediately regret texting her and want to ghost her again but l'm scared she'll do something to herself this time Why am I like this?

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r/greentext | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/25/19(Thu)23:56:41 No.781637E > be me, femnon with neckbeard bf > bf wont leave house, wont text, wont call > bf still leaves house for his friends so not a full neet > ask bf why "bc its different with you anon" 9 KB JPG > say feelings > left on read am i cursed to be with neets? 43 Replies / 7 Images View Thread

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This is 4chan | /r/Greentext

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Greentext Stories - Anon is a coomer | /r/Greentext

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>Be me >Have super ashy skin (I'm white) >So bad that in the mid- summer I sometimes bleed from my skin cracking >Go to dermatologist 74 KB JPG >Get this lotion thats supposed to help >300 dollars a bottle >Get home >J------- with it

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