If anon says it still counts, it still counts. | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 12/20/19(Fri)05:56:20 No.816617250 > Be me > Live in norway > Go to club > Buy expensive drink > Start talking to a girl > Girl is pretty > Buy drink to a gril > Start making out with a girl 137 KB PNG > Go to toilet with a gril > Take my hand down here panties Mfw i realised she have a d--- This is how i lost my verginity. F--- you kissless virgins 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon lives in Australia | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/23/18(Sun)22:09:24 No.780634355 > be me; white kid > live in stralya; status quo > make sure ground-harness is strapped on tight > go for walk > niceweather.png > walking down this narrow path > black guy was jogging behind me, so i move to the side 15 KB JPG to let him pass > without even slowing down or looking at me, he goes, "much obliged my n----" and keeps jogging > mfw a black guy called me their n----

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Anon stands up to normie | /r/Greentext

1418776509444.jpg 10 KB JPG >normie asks me the time >"i dont know" >"look at your watch" >look at her right in the eyes >"no"

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Anon cucks a short Italian plumber | /r/Greentext

> be me > shoot p--- occasionally > f--- some hot chick > she has a husband, but whatever we sex > cameraman is a stoner, kinda weird but good at his job > husband hears rumors, tries to catch us in the act > hear he has found out where we are > oshit.jpeg > we hide while the cameraman tries to save the situation > "sorry, but your princess is in another castle" > he buys it > mfw 31.6 kB PNG

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Anon gets a promotion | /r/Greentext

>be me >friend invites me out for drinks >I have work in the morning >f--- it >get plastered >wake up for work next day >still very drunk 38 KB JPG >herewego.png >somehow make it to work in one piece >"Hey annon what's up?" >"good and you?" >awkward silence >suddenly have a bright idea >decide to power nap in storage closet to sober up >set alarm on phone for 30 minutes >wake up 10 hours later, hungover >slept through my alarm >s---.jpeg >think I'm gonna be fired >f--- it, time to go home >boss sees me on the way out >"Wow anon, you look beat. Thanks for staying late today. I appreciate it" >talks to me about a possible promotion >mfw work is easy

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Anon's sarcasm is r/nextfuckinglevel | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)20:10:41 No.61917729 holy f---... R 36 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)20:18:18 No.61917839 >>61917729 (OP) # it's over for the manlet >>61917902 # : Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)20:23:20 No.61917902 >>61917729 (OP) # >>61917839 # Heh hes still going to get f------ destroyed by floyd 17 KB JPG >>61917923 # >>61918503 # >>61919894 # >>61921137 # : Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)21:08:29 No.61918503 >>61917902 # >floyd Didn't he die last year? 88 KB PNG >>61918961 # >>61927515 # >>61929027 # : Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)21:43:15 No.61918961 WES >>61918503 # He can breathe now John Floyd 98 KB PNG

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Anon is stuck inside the 4chan matrix | /r/Greentext

E500C3AB-FCBD-4C06-B75F-F3DC53E35607.png 58 KB PNG >walk into Subway by myself >forget im in real life >see white woman >audibly sav "white woman spotted"

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Anon doesn’t know what that was about | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/09/18(Tue)10:18:12 No.48594932 >doorbell rings >its a young girl >shes barefoot >she's just staring at me in silence >"what? what do you want?" >she walks away 42 KB PNG What the F--- was that about. Should I be worried? 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 10/09/18(Tue)10:28:53 No.48595087 >"what? what do you want?" why would you say that to a poor clearly abused little girl, have you no heart? 34 KB JPG >>48595095 # : Anonymous 10/09/18(Tue)10:29:39 No.48595095 >>48595087 # Right? Should have grabbed her and show her what real abuse look like, the f------ crybaby.

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Anon does not like PC gamers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/18/18(Mon)10:46:10 No.46196821 >be walking through town center >come across a father and his teen daughter having an argument >"Dad i dont want a f------ computer to game on, im getting a Xbox!" 42 KB JPG >"But computers are so much better! Arte you f------ dumb, im not letting you get an xbox!" >she turns away from him >father lets out a primal roar and tears off his trousers to reveal a 24 inch overclocked c--- with a GTX 1070 inserted into his b------- >he charges at his daughter and spears her up the ass >she melts into cooling fluid and spunk and drains back into his balls >Fathers balls swell to reveal their LED aesthetics >father turns to an onlooking woman who is quivvering and soaking >rams his overcock into her p---- >unloads his daughter into her >after 5 seconds woman gives birth to a teenage boy >he stands up >"hey dad can you help me build my PC please?" >father hugs him while sobbing with joy f------ hate PC master racers

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Anon is an intern | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/20/19(Sat)13:59:22 No.53483337 >Вe me >in order to get a degree i need to do an internship >work really hard but the company told me that they won't pay me >depression.jpeg 266 KB GIF >walking down the street >see an homeless people >feel sorry for him >give him some money >at least I make someone feel better >wait a minute >mfw today he earned more money than me Honk

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How do i get muscley eyes? the | /r/Greentext

No.53071195 2 hours ago 1560540895 cover2.jpg JPG 55.7 KIB 1137x640 Just finished watching a video on what bodyparts girls prefer, most say the eyes. >Tfw I've been skipping eye day my whole life What exercises can I do to get more muscley eyes? 13 replies ...

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Anon is the hero we deserve | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/28/18(Wed)23:47:44 No.786096503 I'll start >be me, 8 year old first grader >watched nothing but Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight for weeks >spring break's over, back to 4 KB PNG school >watching over all the citizens from the playground castle when I hear my calling "STOO0OP! CUT IT OO0OUT!" It's Joker Chad harassing Rachel! >"I'd better get there fast..." >climb to the tallest point possible >spread jacket as wide as possible >dislocate my shoulder and bruise the entire right half of my body from the fall Wasn't allowed to play outside after that.

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Anon got caught in 4K | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)06:14:03 No.63174849 >be me >virgin but really want to lose it >parents are out for the weekend so they leave me home alone >know no girls that would want to f--- me and too young and stupid 53 KB JPG to know how to hire a h----- >idea.jpg >remember there's a meth head lady that sweeps our porch for 5 bucks >she usually comes on sundays so wait for her >offer her 20 bucks my parents left me for pizza to take my virginity and since she's really cheap she accepts >go into the living room and have sex in the couch >lostmyvirginitytoamilf.mp4 >finally I'm not a virgin anymore and she didn't even judge me >be happy as heck >be an hour ago >dad called me and told me he checked the cameras to see what I did today >turns out they installed a nanny cam in the living room cause they don't trust me >yells at me and tell me l'm in deep trouble once they get back home >hear mom crying in the background for some reason Bros i dont want it to be tomorrow i really wanna die rn h-------- nothing ever goes right in my Ifie

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