Anon goes through a phase | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)18:26:22 No.47414971 1524085735334.jpg 122 KB JPG >tfw had a general grievous phase when i was younger >would wrap a blanket around my shoulders like a cape while walking around hunched over coughing and doing the voice i-i wasn't the only one right?

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Opposites detract | /r/Greentext

File: klkkygrlqat61.jpg (23 KB, 640x673) U Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)14:40:11 No.64026562 [Reply] >>64026830 >>64026895 >>64026900 >be gorl >playing video game >sea of thieve >proximity voice chat >kill enemy player >yell insults at me >tell them to get better >as soon as they realise I am gorl >"I will r--- u in ur sleep u stupid w----" >usually along the lines of that Why is the first thing that comes to a guy's mind when beaten by a girl *sigh

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Skittles you dumb fucks | /r/Greentext

>>856259778 (OP) # DR. KEK and MY SIDES >Be guy in charge of skittles >Think of something to do for f----- month >TFW skittles are already rainbow >idea.jpg 38 KB JPG >Remove the rainbow from the skittles >Only one rainbow matters for pride month, after all >Skittles are all white >Suddenly realize >White >Pride

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Anon overdoses on pickles | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/23/13(Mon)10:04:04 UTC-5 No.522930202 >>522923281 Tell me about it. >went to the store on Thursday >bought a half gallon jar of pickles >love me some pickles >eat one as soon as I get home >tastesgoodman.bat >so good I decide l'll have a few more >walk back to my computer and start to work but the urge is not sated >not by a long shot >come back to life-giving pickle jar several more time >eat several pickles each time >after an hour the jar is empty >400% of my daily sodium never tasted so good >thirty minutes later I hear a churning in my stomach >not a light rumbling, sounds like the noise an old tub makes when you suddenly pull the drain >initiate sprint to bathroom mode >barely get my ass on the toilet as a f------ waterfall emerges from my a------ >never in my life have relief and horror been such close bedfellows >after about ten seconds of continuous flow it subsides to a trickle and stops >toilet water is green and smells like vinegar >body didn't even try to digest that s--- >clean up and go back to computer >thinking "thank god that's over" >Not. Even. Close. >five minutes later the rumbling is back >even louder this time >sprint to bathroom, lather, rinse, repeat >this happens five more f------ times >it's finally all gone >stomach is concave; I have never had less food inside my body >completely cleaned out >cue rumble >sit on toilet but it's different this time >I KNOW there's nothing in there >s--- out a tiny amount of liquid, immediately feel better >"well I guess there was just a tiny bit left, that wasn't so ba-" >all at once the burning fire of a thousand young suns sets upon my a--- sphincter >l had just shat out pure stomach acid >frantically wipe at my ass to prevent it from melting away like the spaceship floor in Alien >craw in shower, turn cold water on full blast, and lie prone while gently sobbing >eventually towel off and crawl exhausted into bed at 3:00 in the afternoon >sleep for fourteen hours In retrospect, it was all totally worth it. I love me some pickles.

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Anon writes a greentext anoon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/16/18(Sat)22:53:06 No.7717373 >/b/ me >write incredibly long greentext about the sad story of my relationship with my gf and our breakup >go to post it >remember i haven't linked a picture 200 KB JPG >put this stupid picture of this fish in a mousetrap >file was too big >lost the story

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Anon’s GF does a lil bit of trolling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)21:27:47 No.64033474 >in bed with gf >she wants my attention >decides upon the best course of action >rams her fingers up my butthole >jesusfuckwoman >turn to her and ask w-- shes doing 111 KB JPG >"just a little bit of trolling" >mfw And i thought i was autistic.

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Anon's thought on women | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)00:07:21 No.64011614 >can't do manual labor >can't fight in times of war >can't innovate >can't create >can't be funny Women are literally only good at making babies, otherwise they would of gone extinct thousands 19 KB JPG of years ago. Call me an incel but it's the truth. : Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)00:56:40 No.64012232 >>64011614 (OP) # >can't fight in times of war *blocks your path* also you must be a literal middle schooler, as evident by the 35 KB JPG statement >otherwise they would of gone extinct thousands of years ago >>64014228 #

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Anon needs to know | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)16:49:08 No.856241936 >Put big black bat in front of white woman >She instinctively starts to lick and suck on it Why do they love big black bats so bad? 85 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)16:58:11 No.856242425 >>856241936 (OP) # They like the taste of lead paint.

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Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/07/21(Mon)00:10:51 No.856222076 >Be Me >Figured out that my best friends wife is cheating on him >Try to tell him about it but she stops me >She begs me not to tell him >l say no 125 KB JPG >She insisted that it was a one time mistake >She knows l'm loser virgin >Offers to suck my d--- if I don't tell him >What should I do?

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Anon makes the mutt seethe | /r/Greentext

F------ MOVE!! STACY IS GIVING BIRTH TO CHAD'S CHILD RIGHT NOW! I NEED TO GET TO WORK!II MOVE YOU F------ IDIOT! I'M GONNA BE LATE! MR. NOSEBERG TOLD ME TO BE EARLY TODAY!! SLOW YOUR ROLL slowyourrollpaythetoll.png 823 KB PNG >this makes the mutt seethe

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Anon characterizes himself | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)21:17:17 No.64027099 >5'5.5 (5'5 1/2) >small d--- >small balls >impotent >infertile >weak 213 KB PNG >brain damage >low IQ >mentally ill >fat >hairline receding /or balding >suck at physical things >suck at physical job >can't communicate well >no license >college dropout >no friends >no girl >no gf >khhv : Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)21:38:15 No.64027419 >>64027099 (OP) # How are you still alive OP?Like h-------- , what will power did you have to survive this far? 99 KB JPG >>64027511 #

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Anon leaves all social media | /r/Greentext

File: americanpsycho460-2.jpg (10 KB, 200x200) Anonymous 08/15/15(Sat)20:55:03 No.634948902 >delete facebook >leave all social media >leave city >move to Himalayas >one day pigeon comes with note >open note >Candy Crush request

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anon reached the point of no return a while ago and is yet to realize it | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)15:39:16 No.856229997 File: Purepain.jpg (275 KB, 664x527) >be me >depressed >go to therapy >kind of helps >describe my average emotional level as gray >" you should start working out, it gives you good endorphins." >"you should eat healthier, it will make you feel better." >start working out >start eating healthier >spend more time outside in the sun >still feel gray >get 0 pleasure from accomplishing anything >don't get happy >don't get sad >where are the endorphins? >why do I still feel gray?

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