Anon is in the army | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

>Be me in army >mandatory in my s----- country >first time we noob soldiers fire our guns >we lay in the ground and get ready 108 KB JPG >drill instructor yells "are you ready?" >i yell back "ai ai captain" >random guy two rows away yells "i cant hear you" >drill instructor mad and tries to find out who mocked him >i yell again "O0000000" >random guy shots a rock 10 meters in front of him from laughter ( the target was 300 meter away) >dust rises up and one general runs and screams at drill instructor >we march back to camp 10 kilometers instead of driving >i am attending the "i cant hear you" guy wedding next week

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon's mom trying to get him laid | /r/Greentext

06/01/21(Tue)11:59:35 No.63945431 >2013 >14 >Mom tells me l'm going on a date >"With who?" "you'll find out later" >Forces me to really groom myself >Tells me there'll be a pool there Sweet. Loved pools. Forgot about the date 59 KВ JPG because of the pool, that's how much I f------ love pools. >Blindfolds me on the car ride >Go to 2 sisters' house, from dance class >Hi anon "Yeah that's nice where's your pool?" >Their mother: "Don't you want to talk with the girls a little first?" "Why would I? Where's your pool?" >Go in pool >Girls and mother sitting on steps outside just staring at me >w-- >Eventually they tell me about a trick, I ask them to come in, we swim around for an hour and I get bored >Decide to play Mario Kart on their wii (they had a flatscreen, we had a CRT) >Mother leaves, tells them not to give me a house tour "I guess she doesn't like people in her room?" >Girls immediately offer me a house tour >"let me finish this round of mario kart" >They go upstairs to "get changed" >Finish round >Go upstairs >Knock on their door >"We're naked!" >Take this to mean they don't want me to come in >Go downstairs, play more mario kart >One girl comes out to ask where I am "You said you were getting changed for the house tour I didn't want" >She's STILL in her bikini >Are women really this f------ slow? >Goes back into bedroom >Mother comes back, calls girls down >They're whispering about me >Hear "Do you want to try again?" & It's up to him >Mother asks me if l'd like to stay "Yeah I want to keep playing mario kart" >She looks at me disgusted, calls my mom >Mom picks me up, asks how it went. >Tell her. She's disappointed. >W--?

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Anon has a dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/18(Fri)11:24:26 No.767048355 Had a weird dream last night >In a gym bathroom >Brushing my teeth for whatever reason >finish up, spit water out >Run tongue over teeth 45 KB JPG >Violent loud sound >Like a thousand balloons rubbing together >Everyone stops and looks at me >Nervously try to play it off >Casually say "Squeaky clean boys." >Walk out of gym bathroom >Wake up

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Anon's genitals are different | /r/Greentext

File: 1352472167068.jpg-(105 KB, 960x640, image.jpg) Anonymous (ID: xOUJKHrL) 11/09/12(Fri)09:42:47 >Be in preschool >Uncircumcised >Kid notices in bathroom >Later that day in a group with other boys and girls >Kid says my pee pee is different >Other kids want to see >Show them >They want to touch it >why not >Let them >They pull back my foreskin repeatedly and touch the head >Feelsgoodman.jpg >My pee pee gets bigger >One of the little girls screams >Female teacher comes over >ohshit >The kids' parents are informed And that was the end of my teaching career

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Anon Says the N Word new | /r/Greentext

=: 1522598729443.jpg (33 KB, 640x619) Anonymous 12/14/18(Fri)21:16:13 No.787392288 >>787392777 >recently started dating black girl >11/10 qt >texts me one night at 3am >hey anon <3 >"whats up n----" >blocked why am i like this Anonymous 12/14/18(Fri)21:20:51 No.787392611 ► >787392 You get any nudes prior?

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Anon learns how to think | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: H4kom0OE TEEN WHO TRANSITIONED AT 16 NO(...) 08/04/20(Tue)14:33:07 No.271131501 theblaze FOLLOW UK teen girl wanted to be male; got breasts removed, took testosterone. Now 23, she says doctors should have 'challenged' her decision - and is suing. : Anonymous (ID: BAvuhMxS 08/04/20(Tue)14:36:04 No.271131869 >271131501 (OP) # >Give woman testosterone >her rational reasoning improves >>271132166 # >271132881 # >>271133223 # >>271134332 # >>271134775 # >>271136263 # >>271136421 # >>271136633 # >271136659 # 2>271136801 # >271136889 # >>271136910 # >>271136975 # >271137192 # >>271137688 # >>271137852 # >>271138819 # >>271139068 # >>271139337 # >271139364 # >271139495 # >>271139539 # 2271139665 # >>271139676 # >>271139733 # >>271139941 # >271140571 # >>271141024 # >>271141631 # >>271141918 # >>271141990 # >>271142005 # >>271142025 # >>271142491 # >>271142547 # >>271142555# >>271142674 # >>271143018 # >>271143028 # >>271143099 # >>271143230 # >>271143380 # >>271143477 # >>271143641 # >>271143978# >>271144138 # >271144537 # >271144570 # >>271145019 # >271145462 # 22271145746 # >>271145891 # 2>271146484 # >>271146853 #

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Anon is a filthy creep | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/16/19(Thu)14:17:47 No.799888486 > Be me > Goes downstairs to the condo's gym > 9/10 girl on one of the treadmills > Says hi > Hops on the other treadmill 22 KB JPG besides her > She's perfect: 1.60m / mid to large boobs / brunette > We're both running and share some glances > She finishes her exercise > Smiles at me before leaving and says "goodbye" > feelsgoodman.jpg I've seen other girls there, but your average 5 or 6/10. Never such perfection. : Anonymous 05/16/19(Thu)14:19:22 No.799888586 >>799888486 (OP) # Break into her house and c-- in her shampoo

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Anon watches the first ever movie | /r/Greentext

WOAHAAHAHAH.jpg 171 KB JPG "AAAAAAAAAAAAA W-- ITS COMING RIGHT AT US"

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Anon experiences a glitch in the matrix | /r/Greentext

: noko...also the game 09/29/17(Fri)15:44:11 No.19675045 Reality glitch thread Post times where time and space goofed. >Be me 83 KB JPG >Going to bed while staying at grandparents' rural farmhouse as a 10 year old kid. >Not tired at all - 100% lucid. >Decide eh l'll just try closing my eyes. >It's only 9:30 p.m. >The MOMENT I close my eyes it's instantly morning literally within a blink of an eye. >Brother was in the twin bed next to me and he disappeared instantaneously. >Can smell grandma making breakfast. >YouWutMate.jpeg >Never been able to reproduce what happened or have somebody tell me the same happened to them. : Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)15:48:59 No.19675059 >>19675045 (OP) # You fell asleep you f----- retard >>19675066 # >>19677427 # >>19678564 # >>19687722 # >>19689769 # >>19691641 #

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Anon is definitely gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)16:21:32 No.63913432 >You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become an incel. -the flash What does this mean? He told me in my dream lastnight. 54 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)16:22:37 No.63913438 >>63913432 (OP) # >dreams of the flash probably means you're gay

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well, what are your expectations? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/31/21(Mon)19:06:45 No.28723600 >24 hours left before US intelligence agencies fully disclose what they've been hiding about UFO's What are your expectations in the upcoming report? 14 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/31/21(Mon)19:35:53 No.28723821 WE WUZ KANGZ! >>28723600 (OP) # >What are your expectations in the upcoming report? That jews are from space, jesus was a hologram and the world is run by black people who have been plotting for millennia to NO. YOU WERE D--- WRSHERS 89 KB JPG wash everyone's d--- at the same time!

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anon got a bonzi buddy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes

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Anon faces a dilemma | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/07/21(Wed)17:09:02 No.81037388 File: 1599847139726.jpg (22 KB, 720x720) No Signall since i can't get a new gpu right now should i get a cat instead?

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