I will read this to my children before they go to sleep. He shall forever remain in my life and undefeated | /r/Greentext
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![File: 1363062393793.jpg-(20 KB, 310x386, IHOP story.jpg) O Anonymous (ID: 04CnfXZe) 03/12/13(Tue)00:26:33 No.464541509 > Be 19 > Living in my college town > Doing school things > Works at IHOP > Because college town, pancake joint be swinging > A group of 4 guys comes in every night > Three are nice and tip well > One a------ A------ always gets 6 pancakes. > After 2 months of dealing with them cannotdeal.jpg > A------'s magnitude far outweighs his friends' likeability > Slowly developing cancer from a------ radiation > He seems like he hasn't mentally evolved yet > probs bordering tard status > Huge muskills though > instead of going for direct confrontation i make a decision > Im going to slowly and methodically f--- his mind > Every night, one pancake gets more penor-like in nature > Maybe 4-6 degrees on the floppy johnson a day > realslowlike.gif > Because i introduce the dickcake slowly he doesn't notice for awhile >I watch happily and giddily as he chokes a cockcake down > It begins to be the centerpiece of my day - He finally notices after it is straight up a big honkin' d--- > Added whipped cream at the end of the urethra (blueberry) > Feel a storm brewin O Anonymous (ID: 04CnfXZe) 03/12/13(Tue)00:43:53 No.464545508 >I deliver his penor cake one fateful evening > He looks me dead in the face and asks me > "Hey< .(deciphers nametag [letters hurt him]) a.no.n what is this s---?" >I don't know > "You better start talking or l'll talk to your manager" > Manager.let us refer to him as C. > C is my best friend. > Dastardlyplot.jpg > "TIl go get him for you, f-----, sir. > Sneak in f----- cause im feeling extra alpha > He notices, not happy. > Approach C and explain everything. He roflmaowtfbbqs all of it, every detail > He is in on the conspiracy now > Props to C for his improv work. > He sneaks in about 9 penis related puns into his talk with a------. > Paraphrasing : Sir, we don't just d--- around back here > My employees aren't messing with your junk > That might just be a coincidence > You need more evidence than one penis shaped pancake > Other tables overhear and enjoy giggles > Im DYING in the kitchen > A------ scowls, pays walks out. > getlawyered.jpg > no way this m----------- will come back tomorrow > Just in case, C gets every employee on our shift in on it > Dumb f----- comes back > sitting in different zone to not deal with me > doesnt matter > This was our night to bring so many fallic references in culinary form > An army of workers ready to bring penis into every open conversation > we were armed and ready O Anonymous (ID: 04CnfXZe) 03/12/13(Tue)01:00:17 No.464549087 > Gentlemen, this was no ordinary penis assault > This was the All Hallow's Eve of c--- All men replaced their nametags with an alias for a peen > Chuck, D---, Peter, Johnson, and the Asian bussboy? Dong > All men stuffed their frontal pantaloons with things to give noticeable bulge > We plan the assault in waves > Phase 1 begins > First waiter comes, nametag Johnson > Takes orders, waves bulge in A------'s face > mother. f------. pancakes. > fool.jpg > Cue D--- > brings drinks, spills A------'s on himself in the c--- region > Furiously cleans it 2 feet from A------'s face > Uproar in the kitchen > Total improv > All of our sides > other tables get s----- service and tips will be slim tonight > worth it > two more waves pass > He stands > Silence in the kitchen > He comes into the kitchen >dohshit > TROLLINTHEDUNGEON.gif > we skitter > C takes over and calms him down > should have been a counselor > Final wave commence > he had seen Dong clean the previous spill and caught wind of the nametags after that >I stroll out > He looks p----- as f--- >I hand him not one, but six straight up cocks. No disputing > Bacon pubes, cherry herpes, whipped cream j--- > My nametag for this evening? > Penis > He rages and punches me cold > Wake up in the hospital > all employees are around my bed > Wake up to applause > Broken nose but oh so worth it > Never see him again > we are known henceforth as IHOC > International House of C---](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/082/094/a48.png "Anon makes pancakes | /r/Greentext")
