anon has standards | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: 186115782387.jpg (483 KB, 1696x2480) O Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)01:47:19 No.63110377 [Reply] >ask cute girl out >she rejects me :( >ask another cute girl out >she rejects me too >ask really ugly girl out begrudgingly >she accepts and is way too happy >ghost her and never go outside again

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon is peeing on his girlfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)03:17:38 No.851552469 >be me >got a distance relationship >gf comes over for 2 weeks >she decided to take a 468 KB PNG shower >I go with her because why not >she started to take the shower and says >'ll pee >im disgusted and say that I don't want her to piss in my shower >she did it anyway >l see that the shower isn't entirely closed and I decided to piss into the shower >she screams: YOU PEED ON MY FEET Piss in my shower, I piss on you

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Anon has a job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/23/17(Mon)23:27:58 No.40623659 Job Greentexts This happened last night. >Get job at McDonalds, need cash >Work in the back arranging the meals >qt 3.14 comes in with-8 yo daughter, asks for a chicken nugget Наррy Meal 225 KB PNG >daughter is really polite to casier, says please and everything >throw in an extra nugget because of her kindness >few mins later, manager tells me to mop a spill >its right next to the mom and her daughter >evesdrop on them >"Mommy look, the people in the back gave me an extra nugget, why?" >mom replies, "Its because they're dumb enough to work here that they cant count" >mfw >mom and daughter laugh while I walk away Why are people so unappreciative? 13 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon had a close call | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/07/21(Wed)17:09:57 No.63097143 >see girl dressed as my favorite character at a con >cute as hecc >start walking towards her gathering all the courage I have ever had >her ogre mom suddenly appears and talks to her >l immediately stop a few feet away and turn around think that was a close one anons, may have caught a felony despite her looking ~18 |

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Anon is a modern Icarus | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/06/19(Tue)00:40:07 No.119151659 >it's another "teeth falls out of your mouth" dream episode 201 KB PNG : Anonymous 08/06/19(Tue)03:08:47 No.119155050 >>119151659 (OP) # The other day I had a dream that I could suck my own d--- but then I accidentally choked on it and died 64 KB JPG >>119155083 # >>119155341 # : Anonymou Anonymous 08/06/19(Tue)03:24:37 No.119155341 : Anonymou >119155050 # A modern Icarus : Anonymou

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Anon has to pee | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous 08/31/17(Thu)05:21:54 No.39418827 >Be in 7th grade >Have to piss >Teacher does that whole "I don't know, can you?" b------- >"May I use the restroom Mr. Anonderson" >Book it to bathroom while holding my peener hole closed >Urinals are taken >See unlocked stall >Kick the door open like they do in the movies >See kid squatting on the toilet, s------- frog style >See turd retreat back into his a------ like a scared turtle >Piss myself

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Anon is gets fixed on a Quintessential Path of Sole Destruction | /r/Greentext

File: pepsiman.jpg (35 KB, 637x358) Anonymous 04/07/21(Wed)22:54:23 No.63109336 ► >>63110213 >boss comes up to me at work >asks me to stop muttering things under my breath because some of the girls are getting scared work stories thread Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)00:02:33 No.63109981 ► >63110122 Stop muttering and start staring at them. Then when your boss warns you about that stop staring and start licking your lips. Then when they complain about that, start thrusting your hips a little when you walk. Their complaints are going to start making them sound ridiculous. PEPS

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Anon gets back at his teacher | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)06:47:39 No.63109275 F--- >be me >11th grade >anatomy and physiology >dissecting sheep brains >annoying bitch teacher yelling at 4 KB PNG us for no reason >she does this s--- every day >l'm sick of this s--- >I form a plan >put plastic bag in trash can >throughout the lab I walk past every kid in class and whisper to them >put the brain in the plastic bag when you're done >class ends >we "throw our brains away" >secure bag >wait until school is over >wednesday so all the teachers have conferences after school >walk into her room >put all of the brains in a filing cabinet >next week >something f------ reeks >"WHO THE HELL IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS" >stanky ass brains in the cabinet >nobody tells >l'm a free man >even gave one of them to the weird girl because she wanted to put it in a jar Sorry Mrs. P. You deserved it. >>63109359 #

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Anon genuinely wanted to help | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/07/21 (Wed)18:08:14 No.63097597 > be on a school trip to museum > open doors for girls > classmates laugh > couple weeks pass > Chad doess the same thing > he gets praised and applauded 13 KB JPG > help an old lady carry bags > 'will you f--- her haha? > Chad helps a woman > this is based 15 years later I still hate these people and have refrained from helping others which of course makes me an a------ You can't win. It is always a lose-lose

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Anon helps an exchange student | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/03/19(Thu)11:29:42 No.789007932 >in school >chinese transfer student comes up to me >barely speaks english >"anon how speak person that make you learn in class?" >he means teacher 8 KB JPG >teacher is black >idea >"oh it's n-----" >ching chong steps into class >happy exclaims "HI N-----" >mfw View Thread

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anon played too much FPS games | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 851576134 1 hr ago High School Story >be me 16 years old >me and my best friend are chilling in the back of the class >exchange hot girl joins our math class > OhShit.mp4 > A week later she asks me to help her because she has a crush on my best friend 15.6 kB PNG > "Sure why not" > me and the girl walk towards him at the end of math class > "Yo bro, this is Alice from Sweden" > They start talking, normal boring conversation > *Everything is going smoothly* > *beep* a clock-like sound out of nowhere start beeping in our classroom. > panic.jpg I start to panic and accidentally blur out "oh s--- its bomb" > Everyone looks at me like if I murdered someone > girl starts crying > best friend start laughing his ass off > turns out she is diabetic and has a valve in her body that beeps when is low in glucose Why am I like this 1 REPLY O IMAGES REPLY

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Anon tries to make his girlfriend hapoy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/19/21(Tue)20:36:54 No.845257423 >girlfriend won't stop crying because she got an abortion >get tired of hearing her s-- >go to clinic and dig out fetus from dumpster >glue googly eyes on it >walk in with it while saying 'mom 232 KB PNG im home' >she cries even harder Jesus, nothing makes this baby killer happy

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Anon is not very patriotic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: DnxktxSt 04/06/21(Tue)15:12:39 No.315435084 >Be from New Zealand Whangarei >Can't even pronounce name of own country >Nyoowr Zealand >Can't even pronounce most words of the english language Hamitan Kotarja Taurangn Gintorne Ner astings amersten North Wenganu Nelkon Gha Wellington NEW ZEALAND Catchureh timaru bunedin cargill Pacitic Ocean 140 KB PNG >Afraid of the flu >Afraid of China >Afraid of New World Order >Guy shoots up mosques >Throw away gun rights because afraid >One of the first countries to sign on to beeld beck betah >Aspires to be cool like neighbor Australia >Can't even hang What is the worst country and why is it new zealand

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