Anon is a modern Icarus | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 08/06/19(Tue)00:40:07 No.119151659 >it's another "teeth falls out of your mouth" dream episode 201 KB PNG : Anonymous 08/06/19(Tue)03:08:47 No.119155050 >>119151659 (OP) # The other day I had a dream that I could suck my own d--- but then I accidentally choked on it and died 64 KB JPG >>119155083 # >>119155341 # : Anonymou Anonymous 08/06/19(Tue)03:24:37 No.119155341 : Anonymou >119155050 # A modern Icarus : Anonymou

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon has to pee | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous 08/31/17(Thu)05:21:54 No.39418827 >Be in 7th grade >Have to piss >Teacher does that whole "I don't know, can you?" b------- >"May I use the restroom Mr. Anonderson" >Book it to bathroom while holding my peener hole closed >Urinals are taken >See unlocked stall >Kick the door open like they do in the movies >See kid squatting on the toilet, s------- frog style >See turd retreat back into his a------ like a scared turtle >Piss myself

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Anon is gets fixed on a Quintessential Path of Sole Destruction | /r/Greentext

File: pepsiman.jpg (35 KB, 637x358) Anonymous 04/07/21(Wed)22:54:23 No.63109336 ► >>63110213 >boss comes up to me at work >asks me to stop muttering things under my breath because some of the girls are getting scared work stories thread Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)00:02:33 No.63109981 ► >63110122 Stop muttering and start staring at them. Then when your boss warns you about that stop staring and start licking your lips. Then when they complain about that, start thrusting your hips a little when you walk. Their complaints are going to start making them sound ridiculous. PEPS

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Anon gets back at his teacher | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)06:47:39 No.63109275 F--- >be me >11th grade >anatomy and physiology >dissecting sheep brains >annoying bitch teacher yelling at 4 KB PNG us for no reason >she does this s--- every day >l'm sick of this s--- >I form a plan >put plastic bag in trash can >throughout the lab I walk past every kid in class and whisper to them >put the brain in the plastic bag when you're done >class ends >we "throw our brains away" >secure bag >wait until school is over >wednesday so all the teachers have conferences after school >walk into her room >put all of the brains in a filing cabinet >next week >something f------ reeks >"WHO THE HELL IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS" >stanky ass brains in the cabinet >nobody tells >l'm a free man >even gave one of them to the weird girl because she wanted to put it in a jar Sorry Mrs. P. You deserved it. >>63109359 #

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Anon genuinely wanted to help | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/07/21 (Wed)18:08:14 No.63097597 > be on a school trip to museum > open doors for girls > classmates laugh > couple weeks pass > Chad doess the same thing > he gets praised and applauded 13 KB JPG > help an old lady carry bags > 'will you f--- her haha? > Chad helps a woman > this is based 15 years later I still hate these people and have refrained from helping others which of course makes me an a------ You can't win. It is always a lose-lose

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Anon helps an exchange student | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/03/19(Thu)11:29:42 No.789007932 >in school >chinese transfer student comes up to me >barely speaks english >"anon how speak person that make you learn in class?" >he means teacher 8 KB JPG >teacher is black >idea >"oh it's n-----" >ching chong steps into class >happy exclaims "HI N-----" >mfw View Thread

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anon played too much FPS games | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 851576134 1 hr ago High School Story >be me 16 years old >me and my best friend are chilling in the back of the class >exchange hot girl joins our math class > OhShit.mp4 > A week later she asks me to help her because she has a crush on my best friend 15.6 kB PNG > "Sure why not" > me and the girl walk towards him at the end of math class > "Yo bro, this is Alice from Sweden" > They start talking, normal boring conversation > *Everything is going smoothly* > *beep* a clock-like sound out of nowhere start beeping in our classroom. > panic.jpg I start to panic and accidentally blur out "oh s--- its bomb" > Everyone looks at me like if I murdered someone > girl starts crying > best friend start laughing his ass off > turns out she is diabetic and has a valve in her body that beeps when is low in glucose Why am I like this 1 REPLY O IMAGES REPLY

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Anon tries to make his girlfriend hapoy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/19/21(Tue)20:36:54 No.845257423 >girlfriend won't stop crying because she got an abortion >get tired of hearing her s-- >go to clinic and dig out fetus from dumpster >glue googly eyes on it >walk in with it while saying 'mom 232 KB PNG im home' >she cries even harder Jesus, nothing makes this baby killer happy

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Anon is not very patriotic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: DnxktxSt 04/06/21(Tue)15:12:39 No.315435084 >Be from New Zealand Whangarei >Can't even pronounce name of own country >Nyoowr Zealand >Can't even pronounce most words of the english language Hamitan Kotarja Taurangn Gintorne Ner astings amersten North Wenganu Nelkon Gha Wellington NEW ZEALAND Catchureh timaru bunedin cargill Pacitic Ocean 140 KB PNG >Afraid of the flu >Afraid of China >Afraid of New World Order >Guy shoots up mosques >Throw away gun rights because afraid >One of the first countries to sign on to beeld beck betah >Aspires to be cool like neighbor Australia >Can't even hang What is the worst country and why is it new zealand

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Anon is a fish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/16/21(Tue)18:59:15 No.84751 >be me >fish ><> 26 KB JPG

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Anon ups his trolling game | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)06:35:57 No.63109175 >Youtube finally had enough of my s--- and completely shadowbanned me from using any kind of profanity or verbal abuse in the comments. >Adapt to it. >Somehow trolling normies without using any kind of profanity gets me LOL BUITHURT 9 KB JPG 10 times more butthurt replies than when I was calling them f------ and n------. What is this sorcery?

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Anon plays Mafia 2 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)12:09:14 No.63110295 >Be me >15 at the time >Little to no irl friends >No gf >Just got Mafia 2 >l am immediately interested in Joe Barbaro 93 KB JPG >Start copying his voice, mannerisms, language, and looks. >l basically start wearing a Hawaiian shirt with a leather jacket and jeans and acting like a stereotypical New Jersey or New York guy. >l'm also interested by classic cars due to Mafia 2 >Save up enough money to get a Karmann Ghia >get a s--- ton of friends >Somehow get an average looking gf >Get my first bj in spring >Get laid sometime during summer >Mfw Joe Barbaro got me laid

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anon has a smoothie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous did my gf poison me 04/07/21(Wed)16:37:09 No.63104137 >be yesterday, playing vidya >gf says 'im making a smoothie, want one?" >bit weird... shes never made me one before, but okay >drink it over the course of 5min 373 KB PNG >gf comes back, surprised I drank it all >keeps asking how it tasted, did I like it, do I want another one >she leaves to run an errand >20min go by, my stomach is now completed nauseated >pain is 9/10, never had stomach pain like this before in my life >im curled in the fetal position, seconds away from dialing 911 >end up violently vomiting 4 times into a nearby bowl >having whole-body convulsions for 90 seconds afterward, like a f------ exorcism >theres a big grey streak in the vomit bowl, the last thing I dry-heaved up >gf comes back, I ask her w-- was in that smoothie because I just puked >'oh just some whey protein, raspberries, blueberries, hemp hearts' >anything else??? >'i put some collagen in mine, maybe i put some in yours too, i cant remember' >she seems unbothered by it, almost like she didnt believe i threw up

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