Anon gets swatted | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)15:48:17 No.63064613 >tried cuddling with escort after making her c-- >she swatted me away 39 KB JPG 18 Replies / 3 Images View Thread : azn boi 04/05/21(Mon)19:13:52 No.63066362 >>63064613 (OP) # based escort. get rekt op

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon cures their depression | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)21:03:14 No.851319325 >be sad as f--- >see picture of boob on internet >day saved, no more existential dread, only boob on mind 27 KB JPG

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Anon is based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21 (Mon)07:41:14 No.63062465 >meet a person >start talking about things we like >he mentions he likes anything related to anime >leave 36 KB JPG

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Anon gets red pilled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous The matrix 2 incident 04/05/21 (Mon)18:42:00 No.63066102 >be me in 2003 a huge 16 year old Matrix fan >live with my dad and my mom, but mostly only with my dad cause he works from home and my mom doesn't >childishly hate my dad for years because he isn't my mom 194 KB PNG >always ignore him >he always comes into my matrix themed bedroom to ask us to do stuff together, but i brush him off every time >May 2003, my dad enters my room >"Anon, i know you're a huge Matrix fan, even if you don't want to do stuff together i want you to have fun" >he gives me a ticket to watch Matrix 2 >he also gives me 30 dollars to go eat something afterwards >"Thanks dad!" >go to the theater to watch Matrix 2 >i'm having the time of my life during the highway sequence when i realize i've been a d--- to my dad >i treated him like a jerk for years only because i liked my mom more, but he's actually a good guy who cares about me >realize i need to make up for it and leave the theater before Matrix 2 is over >arrive home to apologize, he's f------ this woman i don't even know >"Anon, i thought you were watching Matrix 2" >turns out my dad actually was a d---

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Anon is armed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)10:21:30 No.63061954 >parents find out I own a semi automatic rifle >want to kick me out unless I sell it 59 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/05/21 (Mon)10:25:06 No.63062001 >mom finds some of my ammo in my closet >cries and asks if I'm going to kill her to kill her dogs too 206 KB JPG Like that stupid bitch is worth a murder charge. >>63062020 # >>63062048 # >>63062085 #

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Anon hates the new internet | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)10:23:59 No.63063853 >go to reddit >w----- posting selfies for attention on EVERY SINGLE f------ sub >come here >f------ retarded f------ posting 49 KB JPG d---- and ass holes dude and weird s--- >go to a blue board >everyones just screaming about black people all day and as soon as i post anything on topic i get banned for "being off topic" >f------ non stop annoying ass captchas f--- this god damn internet s--- i f------ hate it. i wish we could go back into the early 2000s without f------ the internet and smartphones and s--- and people just went and did fun s---

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Anon gre v Slovenijo. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)14:03:06 No.142530727 >go to slovenia >waiting at s----- bus station in ljubljana >two guys (apparently serbian) are having a coffee and a smoke >suddenly they start yelling at each other 52 KB JPG >starts getting real heated >they just start beating the s--- out of each other >this goes on for 5 minutes >noone does anything >they end up walking away from it like nothing happened w--

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Anon can't help his social ineptitude | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/16/17(Sat)00:03:13 No.97512319 >>97510521 # >Girl asked me out for a coffee yesterday >"I don't drink coffee" >"Well, you don't have to 36 KB JPG get any" >"What, and just watch you drink coffee for 15 minutes?" Why do I do this to myself >>97512373 # >>97514498 # >>97516492 # >>97516620 # >>97516945 # >>97529252 # >>97544102 # >>97545596 # >>97545645 # >>97550152 # >>97559084 # >>97560194 # >>97563656 #

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Anon is sitting at the computer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/23/18(Fri)19:43:41 No.43426628 >be me around 5pm >Dad comes home from construction job >sees me sitting at computer still in dressing gown with naruto hat >let's out the longest sigh ever and goes to his room and shut's door 64 KB JPG >mfw 11 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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anon needs help | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Help AnOns 06/24/19(Mon)14:33:56 No.53056693 >be me >chad face manlet >meet a girl on vidya >she really likes me >we start edating >find out we live close >she asks how tall I am I say 5'8 44 KB JPG >she is 5'6 I'm actually 5'5 and she is coming over today what the f--- do I do HELP ANONS : Anonymous 06/24/19(Mon)14:34:58 No.53056699 Ok listen to me. You have dyslexia and misread your height on the ruler >>53056712 # >>53057080 #

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Anon is a jerk | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)08:05:27 No.851326649 GET PRINTS TOWARS FREE PIZZA NO MATTER THE BAY OR THE WAY ves SESER TAl E AND SNT L YOL TOL 19 werCREN RDS Domino's PIEC TOWARD Charge is not a tip paid to your driver, ZA The Delivery NOW YOU FRE Please tip your driver for their ER • ANY awesome service. IN-S WE WORK HARD TO MAKE IT EASY FOR YOU TO GET FREE PIZZA.) THIS PIZZA BOX AND IT'LL BE LIKE YOU'RE REALLY HIGH-FY LEARN MORE AT DOMINOS.COM/REWARD D LINE BY PHONE wwwsIN TMOO 1214 please pay my employees for me.png >Never tip pizza guy. 334 KB PNG >They eventually start hinting at a tip at the door "haha jus tryna get those tips man" >They eventually start putting this on your boxes, or if they're feeling extra cheeky >Continue not tipping >They deliver your pizza cold and late, or shake up your soda or eat one of your wings/garlic breads or something >Complain >Get free pizza for complaining >repeat Post other epoch lifehacks and money saving tips ITT

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Anon is happy on his birthday. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/12/20(Thu)06:56:47 No.531844068 TETRIS EFFECT CONNECTED Tatria &C 1986-2020 Tatria Hoiding Soul.jpg 903 KB JPG >my birthday today >xbox series x arrived >prepared to play watch dogs and stuff >install tetris, play for a few hours >l'm not very good but I have fun >parents come by to give me gift >dad has severe arthritis, used to be mechanic >setup adaptive controller that I previously bought with hopes of him using one day >let him play forza horizon 4 >he has a ton of fun Today was a good day. Enjoy your new consoles friends

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I'm sure somebody already posted this, but i'm reposting the repost | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/15/21(Fri)11:17:12 No.844890355 >Be me >Want to make a post on 4chan >Make a nice wholesome story about my dad >Spend long time on it to make sure that it's good >Post my art 61 KB JPG >Some reddit normie sees this >He smells the karma and posts it in r/greentexts >He gets hundreds of upvotes from my hardwork >Mfw Why are redditers like this, Anons? They're probably going to see this thread and post it for karma. I see you, reddit.

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