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Anon doesn’t wanna streetshit | /r/Greentext
Uploaded by Reddit Moments Feb 21, 2021 at 06:45AM EST
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![File: download.jpg (10 KB, 228x221) Anonymous 02/20/21(Sat)12:05:23 No.62418578 [Reply] >>62419159 >>62419822 >>62419857 >be me >grade 7, no friends >cute girls listening to music, sharing earbuds. new Daft Punk CD on desk >want to impress girl >"Oh hey, thanks for buying my album. Do you like it?" >half way through school year. Literally first time ever talking to girl >"what?" >"that's my album. I am Daft Punk" >faces mix of confusion and disgust >"You're not Daft Punk" >"Yes I am" >"Daft Punk is two guys" >"No, I am Daft Punk. The other guy is a real robot. That I made" >Other kids start to crowd around >"You're not Daft Punk Anon. And you can't make a robot. Why are you lying?" >"My dad helped me make the robot. And I am Daft Punk, and tomorrow l'll prove it" >Get home. Dad is passed out in front of TV with 4 empty beers in front of him >Only 4 today. Maybe this will work >"Dad can you help me make a robot?" >"..Wha?" >"I need to make a robot. For homework" >Gives me same look of confusion and disgust as girls from class and goes back to sleep >Oh well. Assume everyone at school will have forgotten anyway >Next day at school. "Hey Daft Punk. So where's this proof?" >Pretend to have no idea what they're talking about >Teasing escalates fast, need escape plan >"Alright you got me. I have a secret twin. We go to school on opposite days so you were talking to him. That's why I don't know what you're talking about" "You don't have a secret twin Anon. What's his name?" "We both have the same name" "How come only one of you goes to school at a time?" "Because we take turns. One of us goes to school.." >can't help self "while the other one be's Daft Punk." "Daft Punk is two guys. How can you be Daft Punk while one of you is at school?" "Alright you got me. ..I have a secret triplet."](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/025/749/49c.jpg "He don’t stop, he can’t stop | /r/Greentext")
![File: EmFgC2TU4AIRwtz.jpg (166 KB, 1043x1200) O Anonymous 02/20/21(Sat)02:46:47 No.62414415 [Reply] >>62416095 >>62416114 >>62416191 >>62416234 >The year is 2029, Biden has been reelected and sworn in for a third term after amending the constitution, and is kept alive well into his 80s through the occult powers of Kamala Harris' >ICE has been abolished, borders have been opened, and the US is now 10% white >You hear a knock on the door >You open it and pic related stands outside >"Hey anon you're probably wondering whats going on now" >"You see, the federal government is now controlled by the communist party of the USA" she says >"And you're now the charman?" you reply >"Chairwoman!" she snaps "we're going to have to teach you about inclusive language" >She walks in and pushes you against the wall >"Anyways, as part of a new government program, we plan to rid your colonizer genes from this country. So I'm gonna have to seize those means of reproduction, in order to redistribute them among the masses" >"That is, after I'm done with them of course!" >Alex looks at you and lets, an insidious smile creeps across her face and she lets put a giggle >"Anyways, non-compliers will get a year in the gulag, so let's get those pants off" >She looks down at your bulge and her mutt eyes start to widen >"Oh my, looks like someone has some reparations for slavery and colonialism"](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/025/667/757.jpg "Land of milk and honeys | /r/Greentext")
