Anon roleplays as a horse | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous (ID: zuq0 ITT: Weird sex experiences >be 22 >start dating blonde. 7/10 >shes quirky but fun >dat ass >second date >go to her place >shewantstheD.jpeg >go down on her >things are going well >she stops me, wants to roleplay >blindfolds me, we're playing doctor >kinky but okay >feel pressure around my ass >pull off blindfold >crazy bitch is shoving 3 - 4 plastic horses into my a------ >she says my condition is "stable"

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon cannot be fooled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/23/15(Wed)22:56:01 No.642863132 >>642860186 (OP) # >work at liqour store >see obviously underage girls enter and rush to the back >hear them whispering and discussing what to get >they grab heaven hill vodka >they try and check out and I ask for Il'd >they "lost" it but one says her dad says its ok she's 22 >laugh at them and tell them gtfo >same girl tells me her dad is rich blah blah >they leave and I start eating a pickle in a bag >drive thru bell rings >walk over and see its the same girls >they freak out one says that there should have been someone else >I stare at them eating my pickle >they speed off >good pickle

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Anon hates reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Why does Reddit suck? 01/29/21(Fri)17:59:06 No.62087455 Everytime I've ever used it to ask a question I honestly get more annoyed and frustrated with the people there than I ever would be on 4chan. Like l'll post a hypothetical question about the human body and 3 seconds later my question is down voted and I see 4 comments all asking "ARE YOU ASKING ON AVERAGE??" like yes you f------ retards what the hell do you think. Don't get me started on the karma system either, it just breeds group think and conformity, rewarding those with the correct opinions and punishing those who step out of line. Which is woefully ironic considering Reddit sees itself as some 10 KB PNG bastion of individuality. 13 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)18:32:07 No.62087836 >>62087788 # >>How does this type of system become and remain popular? Internet points. that's it. this also goes for why people crack games for free. internet attention is one hell of drug.

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Spartacus was based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)03:09:50 No.846048991 1552441123321.jpg 333 KB JPG >9ad >these feathered-hat wearing n----- roll up to your backwater barbaroid village >CAESAR SANCTAE VRBIS ROMAE AVGVSTVS, NOVVM LEGATVM AD GERMANIVM MISIT, SENATOREM PUBLIVM QVINCTILIVM VARVM: >POSTHAC, ROMA TRIBVTA VOSTRA NON AMPLIVS EST REMISSVRA >VARVS EXIGIT AB OMNI TRIBV PRETIVM VICENVM BOVM VEL QVINQVAGENVM PONDERVM FRVMENTI CENTENARII >SPATIVM VOBIS EST TRIDVVM how do you respond, /b/?

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Reposting this gem from 2014, because it feels relevant in light of everything going on. | /r/Greentext

File: 1395093168358. png-(305 KB, 495x470, 1394387815629.png) O First National Bank of Gamestop Anonymous 03/17/14(Mon)14:52 UTC-7 No.235956257 Replies: Does anyone else use Gamestop as a bank? I got really p----- off with US Bank because I kept overdrafting my account even though I opted out, and the same thing happened with my credit union when I got a debit card. Now whenever I get paid I go preorder a whole shitload of games. Whenever I need money, I go to the nearest gamestop and ask for my money back on a game I don't want and make a withdrawal. The lines are shorter at gamestop than at the bank and I can trade in old games and have money go straight to my savings account. Gamestops are just as prevalent as banks in my town and I work at a mall so it's even more convenient than running an errand to the bank or using an ATM and getting charged. The gamestop people are starting to catch on that I'm just moving money around and only buying one preordered game a year, if that, but there isn't s--- they can do about it. The best part is, since I always preorder every game coming out I'm still guaranteed to get all the exclusive content whether or not I'm sure I want a certain game. It's like they're rewarding me for banking with them. O Anonymous 03/17/14(Mon)14:56 UTC-7 No.235956687 Replies: 22235957157 >>235956257 (OP) I can't decide if you're retarded or brilliant.

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/pol/ is impressed by the ingenuity of Democrat run cities. | /r/Greentext

File: 1493882366566.jpg (104 KB, 270x400) O Anonymous (ID: VikC70M6 No.305678002 01/29/21(Fri)13:11:04 >NYC and LA are despised for having an unbearably high cost of living >Everyone in the city is a dirt poor junkie stealing, s------- on the streets, r-----, and begging for money How is that even possible *thinking sounds*

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Anon believes in flat earth | /r/Greentext

>Be me >Flat Earther >Friend works at NASA >Gives me a ticket to go to outer space >He said it'll change my views >Don'tbelievehim.png 65 KB JPG >Go to outer space >See that the Earth is round >wtfman.jpg >This can't be real >Realize NASA must have hacked my eyes

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Anon is in cub scouts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/29/21 (Fri)20:38:54 No.846084121 >in cub scouts >spending night at scout masters cabin >he bumps into wall >'oowwie anon! I got a booboo on my weewee! Can you use your tight a------ to kiss it and make it 46 KB PNG feel better?' >walk out Wasnt going to fall for that for a 10th time

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Anon feeling suicidal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous E 12/28/20(Mon)20:43:20 No.61598590 I've been watching The Shining obsessively, and now I'm contemplating freezing to death as a method of suicide. It would be so easy to get into the swimming pool at night and wait for hypothermia and then drown while unconscious. There would be no risk of 76 KB JPG being revived with frostbite. I think I have the guts to do it this way. Nothing is making my life unliveable, I'm normally satisfied with my existence. I wasn't even feeling suicidal until I watched The Shining four times in one day, and now I feel closer to death than I have ever been. Should I tell my parents to drain the pool? I'm feeling really disturbed right now. : Anonymous 12/28/20(Mon)20:44:27 No.61598607 >>61598590 (OP) # You should go through with it and see if it works. Feel free to haunt me, I could use some company.

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anon receives blueballs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)23:20:56 No.846022120 >Be me >Earlier today >Parents go to the Indian casino to gamble for a few hours >Leaving me alone at home >Embark on a long-winded fap session >Look at shitloads of p--- vids, comics, etc 136 KB JPG >About to c--, way harder then I usually get, balls tightening >Go to a video l often like to finish to, a Brandi Love POV scene >Its not quite doing it for me this time >Think of a better video to finish to >Open a new tab to look it up >Doorbell rings >Parents are home >Have to spend the rest of the day with blueballs >My f------ face when

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Anon is a typical male | /r/Greentext

men are smart >be me >beta loser >moved to new state sophomore year of high school >notice this girl 71 KB JPG >10/10 gorgeous, see her talking to mutual friends in the hall, don't even know her yet I'm already falling >don't have any classes with her >feelsbadman >junior year >she's in my history class >poggers >slide in by commenting on her Overwatch T-shirt and how she should be playing TF2 instead >total chad move >she actually starts talking to me more often and eventually sits by me >get to know her better >good taste in music >feelings are growing but don't do anything cause she's way out of my league >always steals something of mine during class and makes me get it back from her >some days she would nearly make me late to class, even having me walk all the way to her next period with her just to get my phone back or something >one day we're watching youtube videos and she rests her head on my shoulder >having an aneurysm on the inside but do nothing about it afterwards >sort of ghosts me over summer >FF beginning of senior year >all is well again >sharing her earbuds in class one day (as normal friends do) >she plays a song about a chick who says she doesn't care about his guy at all >at the end of the song all the instruments cut out and it's just the singer admitting she thinks about him every single day >"that was a nice song" >a few days later she sits at the other end of class, never moves back >stop talking altogether >mfw

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Anon has a friend | /r/Greentext

File: 769.png (1.22 MB, 871x867) O Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)14:38:54 No.62086393 [Reply] >friend keeps messaging me even though I don't reply When will some people take a hint. Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri) 14:44:30 No.62086469 >friend you keep using that word, I don't think you know what it means.

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Marathon man | /r/Greentext

File: original.jpg (32 KB, 479x684) O Anonymous 01/18/21(Mon)06:21:48 No.59414322 [Reply] D>>59414476 I usually go to my apartment gym for a bit of cardio. It's a s----- gym, just a few cardio machines so I go to another one for lifting but it's convenient when I want to do 20-30 minutes on the rowing machine. But today: >go to apartment gym for 30 minutes on the rowing machine >nobody else in there but some sexy asian girl on the treadmill >start rowing >just as my 30 minutes are about to finish she finishes on the treadmill and lays down a yoga mat directly in front of me >starts doing all this sexy f------ yoga s--- >can literally see her n------ as she stretches and bends into all these sexy f------ shapes >just keep rowing and enjoying the show >she keeps going >i'm f------ dying on this rowing machine but she's spreading her legs in front of me, i can't stop rowing otherwise i'll have to go to another machine with a s------- view of her >she finally finishes and leaves >2.5 hours on the rowing machine, over 1300 calories I think she comes to the gym every day at the same time, if I keep doing all this cardio anons, will it affect my gains negatively? I don't want to stop watching this show every day. Pic is vaguely what she looked like

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