anon gets a new car | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)16:23:43 No.845580556 >be me >go to nissan dealership >get them to let me test drive a 2021 Versa >leave lot and drive home 29 KB JPG >put license plates from 2014 versa onto new one The f--- they gonna do?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Leaf notices something about new presso | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: ¡G4FTİMU ) [•] 01/22/21(Fri)17:21:49 No.304523775 Biden is unironically everything the left thought Trump was. >mentally unsound >senile >high chance of dying within the first term 29 KB JPG >unironically racist >incompetent >favours corporations and the political elite over the average citizen This is only day 2. The list will continue.

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Anon discovers life changing stuff | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Innovation greentext thread 01/23/21(Sat)23:49:03 No.61992830 >be me >home alone >father says 'cook your own food' >ask what we have in the fridge BREAKING NEWS LOCALROCKIN GREAT MOOD TODAY >'Not much but you'll think of something' >day before shopping delivery >eat salad (lettuce and big chunk OONNETD AEOUT 163 KB JPG of cucumber) (much better than slices) >time for main course >only know how to bake bread and cook ready- meals and stir-fries >tfw no stir-fry ingredients remain >but spicy Quorn burgers do >read instructions >'cook in the oven for 18 minutes' >preheat oven >mfw I forgot to put a tray in >mfw there are no clean trays (they're all in the dishwasher) >read for alternative microwave instructions >there aren't any >put a burger in anyway for 2 minutes >wait (far away because paranoid of radiation) (run away after pressing button) (just in case) >hear beeping >take it out >expecting it to be inconsistently-cooked (prepared to take it out) >mfw it's piping hot throughout (like the package says) >mfw some of the breadcrumbs on the outside fell off in the package, leaving uncovered patches on the edge >they're crispy and golden-brown (just right) >bottom is covered in a small amount of slightly- damp light mush (still hot) >phone father >tell him the good news >mfw he sighs disappointedly >asks to chop it in half to see if it's also hot inside >it is >eat it >just as good as usual >make one for him when he returns >he's pleasantly surprised, too >mfw I just nontupled burger-cooking speed >return to computer, content with today's contribution to humanity 4 Replies /1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)23:52:35 No.61992860 ...what? like n---- what? >>61992959 # imgflip.com

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Anon mourns | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)15:27:06 No.845577035 Larry King.jpg 29 KB JPG Rest in Peace Larry King.

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Anon is living with his parents | /r/Greentext

>>23466628 (OP) # Is there anyone more sheltered by their parents, than me? >didn't learn how to read, until I was 6 >couldn't walk, until I was 4 77 KB JPG >couldn't speak, until I was around 5 >didn't know countries outside of my native country existed, until I was 8 >didn't watch any TV, until I was 7 >parents wouldn't let me play video games, until i was 13 >even then, my parents wouldn't let me play anything above an E rating >didn't learn about sex, until I was in my mid-20's >parents made me drop out of highschool, in my 1st year, because it was too chaotic and traumatising for me >only started masturbating and watching p--- in the last few years >still live with parents, to this day >never lived on my own >never travelled, outside of my hometown >was never allowed to have sleepovers, or go to other friend's houses >didn't matter anyway, since i never had any friends >only started learning about the basics of history, this year >never had a job in my entire life >never even thought about going to college/university/higher-education, during my youth

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Anon has some problems | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/03/21(Sun)00:27:22 No.843809884 >tell myself ill stop drinking in 2021 >can't even make it to jan 3rd F------ pathetic 434 KB JPG

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Anon has a lovely sister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)01:24:18 No.61993766 >be me >have girl over >We get done f------ >she suggests boba, I'm down >l ask if I can bring my sister, she never leaves the house >She agrees, says it's sweet that I'm thinking of my sister 142 KB PNG >Sister comes up, looks alright >First thing she says is "I'm so glad I'm out of the house, I haven't been out in 5 days!" >l don't want her to look like a f----- so "Haha yeah quarantine is hard for all of us!" >"I haven't even left my bed except to go to the bathroom" Please stop >We get boba, and sit down on a bench >She starts doing like a weird fake laugh >"When we sat down my thighs clapped together and made a loud noise!" >I didn't hear anything >Girl laughs awkwardly >l do the same I shouldn't have invited her

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Anon is hopeless | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)01:14:21 No.61993646 >cute girl at work casually mentions her bf after 4 months of chatting f--- everything 457 KB GIF

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Anon loves Twitch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)01:41:56 No.61993965 >that feel when I feel myself falling for a Russian Twitch thot I keep telling myself she's a dirty f------ w----, but damn it, she looks so sweet. I've never given money to any e- thot, and I never will, but I now have this pain in my heart, a pain of not being able to heroically save her from 62 KB JPG debasing herself so. 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)01:49:11 No.61994059 >>61993965 (OP) # Youre f------ stupid m8 Imao

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anon pranks his friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)11:05:11 No.845558863 >friend is about to turn 25 in a week >friends and i decide to prank him for his birthday >we all chip in for a giant wall| mountable dildo 70 KB JPG >jacktheripper.jpg >sneak in to his living room at night and stick it to front door >place a camera across room to see his and his parents reaction >watching camera >his mom walks into the room >she notices the dildo >she pulls down pants and start to ride it >rides it for a good 15 minutes >she leaves >30 minutes later his dad walks in >he backs his ass up and starts riding it as well >we look closely at his face >thatisnothisfather.tmp >realize we broke into his neighbor's house instead Still call friend a f----- for having a dildo on his front door

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Anon has a hard time with the drawfs. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/24/18(Mon)00:05:30 No.788087819 >The r--- dwarf is still in my walls >I hear bumps in the night >Fire off some .357 rounds into the wall >Complete silence until I hear it laugh 30 KB JPG >"Hoho!" >Get angry >Fire off more rounds >Hear a screech then a wimper >Hear it run off, dragging it's penis as it goes >Blood drips out from beneath the molding >l got him for now, but he'll be back

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Anons don’t like bears | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)01:08:16 No.845559102 >walking in the woods >see this about 30 feet in front of you What do /b/? 212 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)01:13:31 No.845559472 >pull out 45 >shoot 1 shot >blow my brains out and die >bear runs off : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)01:16:31 No.845559683 >>845559102 (OP) # Either me or the bear is getting r----

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Anon doesn't like conmunism | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: IUf18nF+ Why are normies so weak? 01/23/21(Sat)01:10:02 No.304563920 >Be me. old normie friends. >Meet up with >Actually looking forward to normie conversation and being blue pilled for a few hours and talking about old times. >Friends immediately engage in political my 140 KB JPG conversation. >l make a mental effort to not sperg out red pills like an autistic mutant. >I think I'm "playing along" well. Keeping it PG-rated. >Normie friends still conclude I'm trying to be edgy. Act offended. >Old jokes aren't funny anymore. When did everyone lose their minds? Is this what the beginning of communism - real communism - looks like? I'm 50% sure guys I've known for 25 years would sell my life away over politics. 65 Replies / 11 Images View Thread

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