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The VIrgln Exlstentlallst The Chad Absurdlst stays inside all day, left his gf cause my feels and voluntarily chose the virgin life takes leaps of faith to sidestep any seriouS epistemological inquiry sleeps with all kinds of thots doesn't rely on "God" to provide meaning, only himself writes dry theses no one wants to read smokes crazy cigarettes but never coughs Writes literature people actually want to read probably goes to church lmad delicate androgynous wiry pretty boy believes he's enlightened causee some vision of God he had on a DMT trip made him feelz good Imao serial adulterer cause the chains of monogamy repress the individual Drives his car even when he already bought a train ticket, just for fun

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The Virgin Existentialist vs. The Chad Absurdist


Uploaded by GhettoRobin Oct 28, 2017 at 01:22AM EDT

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Is literally a giant baby Reads books and uses big words like a true virgin The virgin Judge Holden Small size just makes his penis look bigger The Chad Glanton Is the leader, even the Judge must answer to him Hairless? That's kinda feminine bro Has sex with a retard and 12 year old girls Claims to be a judge, but never reveals what he's a judge of. Seriously what the hell is going on with that imbecile? Literally told the Judge to stop being a bitch and to get a new horse Last words are unfathomably based Can never go out in a blaze of glory because he can never die Probably isn't even real, just some kinda metaphor. What a cop out. Banned from returning to Texas probably because he had premarital sex with every woman in the state Keen strategist Zero redeeming qualities yet still loved by all
Self The virgin Zeus Centered f-- demons The one true god, Arceus Secretly allied to Cares for all living things ด Does not tolerate malice Mistreats his own family Allowed humans to be mean Finds excuses to do as he pleases Racist to those he call freaks A family man Encourages being nice and kind 100% pure, humble and truthful Friends to other races, even heroic digimon
Menial life as a construction worker The Virgin Emmet Nemesis is basically just if Will Ferrell was Donald Trump Not even created by The LEGO Company Nobody knows, let alone cares that he exists Drives a bland, tiny car that doesn't have any relevance to his movie The Chad Powers Drives a stylish spy car that made a cool driving scene during the opening credits Exciting life as an explorer Nemesis is a murderous, tyrannical wizard, whomst he verbally and physically bitch slapped Cucked by Batman Needs to be surrounded by Master Builders to survive Has never had an original, creative thought in his life Eventually turns evil Insufferable yes man Everybody knows and idolizes him Gets all the p---- in LEGO City A real LEGO mascot Stays good throughout his adventures Doesn't need a team to survive, only accepts them because his boss forced him to Oozes godlike creativity from his greasy, jet-black hair Does s--- his way, says yes to no man, woman, child, troll, or rock monster
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