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![File: 1347909162181 ipg-(28 KB, 500x435, sad _dad[1].jpg) 器 Fart greentexts-General Anonymous 09/17/12(Mon) 15:12:42 No.3798017 Replies: 223798046 have to sleep at parents' house have bedroom right next to parents' bedroom only separated by a thin, wooden wall midnight >can't sleep stand up and go to the wall between our bedrooms press asscheeks against the wall the fart begins as a low murmur kicks into overdrive and blasts my entire ass-crescendo all over the wall and into the other room swiftly leap into bed just as dad opens my door and peeks in >thinks i'm still asleep eaves jump up and violate the wall again the ass-blast is so powerful, the ring of my a------ practically drums against the wal >hear dad come and pretend to be asleep again run up to the wall when he's gone asscheeks spread all over the damp spot on the wall and preparing to unleash another nuclear holocaust >JC IT'S A BOMEB suddenly, see dad leap into my room right in the middle of my brain-shattering assplosion >his face when](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/241/396/051.jpg "The Perks of Being a Wall Farter")
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The Perks of Being a Wall Farter
Uploaded by Goatllama Apr 09, 2017 at 11:17AM EDT
Origin Entry: Greentext Stories
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![Anonymous 02/18/1 3(Mon)02:39 No.1 76886365 Replies: >>176886459 >> 176886568 try to sell stuff on cragislist put price get texts >"how much 4 product" CAN THESE PEOPLE NOT READ H-------- Anonymous 02/18/13(Mon)02:40 No.176886459 Replies: >>176892351 176886365 l tried to buy a gorilla suit and the guy said it was 100 in the title, 120 in the comments, and then when I asked him he said 90 dollars Anonymous 02/18/13(Mon)03:30 No. 176892351 Replies: 176892563 176886459 Why were you buving a gorilla suit? Anonymous 02/18/13(Mon)03:31 No.176892563 Replies: >>175892815 176892829 176892351 Because I dragged a parking sign into my friends house and I needed a disguise □ Anonymous 02/18/13(Mon)03:33 No.1 76892815 ] Replies: 2217689302822176893440 (6 KB, 256x192, image.jpg) >176892563 That just raises even more questions! File: 1361176407510 Anonymous 02/18/13(Mon)03:33 No.176892829 Replies: >176893440 >176892563 I wish I had the opportunity to witness some dude in a gorilla suit steal a parking sign Anonymous 02/18/13(Mon)03:38 No.176893440 Replies: >176893716 176B93739176893831 176894064 >>176892829 >>176892815 Well this is what happened >Friend buys 50 packs of plastic forks sGoes over to my house and sticks them all in my f------ yard >P----- off I go buy a gorilla suit for 90 bucks and go to the end of the street where a old parking sign is loose >Rip it out with my gorilla strength and drag it through a trail to my friends back yard >Open his back door >Drag it in scratching the floor and s--- > Turn around and see his little sister looking at me >Flip her off and walk right out >Her parents came back home asking what happened >She told them a gorilla dragged a sign in Anonymous 02/18/13(Mon)03:39 No.1 76893716 □ Anonymous 02/18/13(Mon)03:40 No.176893739 [□Anonymous 02/18/13(Mon)03:42 No. 176394064画 >176893440 I want to live in your world >176893440 AAA+ post would witness again >>176893440 l can't remember the last I laughed so hard, I'm actually crying Anonymous 02/18/13(Mon)03:40 No.176893831 2176893440 dude pure justice. if anyone of my friends f----- up my yard with forks I'd kill them. That s---- hard to maintain without some D--- ruining the bed and roots](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/241/394/a0a.jpg "For Want of a Gorilla Suit, The Meaning Was Lost")
![- File: _boko_mika_and_shimada a (120 KB, 1004x654) □Anonymous 01/30/17(Mon)05:46:45 No.5104860 [Reply] >grandpa is 95 years old >was in a British tank batallion during WWII >was stationed in Europe several times during the conflict >was always a role model for me, and a tough guy to heart go visit him the other day at his beach house >brought my laptop with Girls und Panzer on it >thought he would think it fun that old tanks from his time are now used in popular culture >tell him I have something to show him >start with first episode >he just sits there with a blank expression >half way through the episode he asks me to stop asks me to leave him alone >he retreats into his study mumbling something like This is what i fought for haven't heard from him since what do I do? didn't mean to upset him. I really dont want to be unfriendly with my gramps in his last years □ Anonymous 01/30/17(Mon)05:55:04 No.5104870 P> I think a part of me died while reading this](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/217/608/0db.png "Tanks")
![O Anonymous 03/27/23 (Mon)01:58:40 No.72720514 [Reply] ► >>72720625 >be me in highschool >stoner >always skip school to smoke with friend who is also stoner >always meet up and school then leave to go smoke >only place near the school that's secluded is a drain, basically a tunnel that you can sit / crawl in but not stand >one day we're in the drain and we notice a bong, not ours >there are others >write a message on the wall, "hello?" >come back a few days later, underneath is written "hi" >h-------- >start communicating with the unknown stoners >become friends >we always use their bong because it's better than ours even though it sits in a drain (we were gross) >one day friend comes and says he has some great weed >go to smoke it after school even though I need to take a s--- >end up smoking for ages and it's completely dark >we go to leave, but I want one big hit from the bong before we go >take the biggest rip possible >oh f--- >cough so hard I start to s--- my pants >rush out of the drain, wipe ass with leaves and ditch underwear, friend asks what's wrong, I say don't worry about it I'll be back in a sec >think it's not that bad >go back to drain after half an hour of blindly wiping in the dark >friend is still there >"what the f--- is that smell" >"I don't know what you're talking about bro" and go to take another hit from bong >he turns on light from phone >it's everywhere >I look like Augustus Gloop when he fell in the chocolate river >finger marks of s--- all over the bong where I touched it >friend almost vomits >he is a bro though, helps me clean myself using a puddle >we get most of it >we leave, forget about the bong >take the train home, people are getting up and moving to other carriages >come back a few days later >bong is gone >new message on the wall >"what the f--- is wrong with you, why did you smear s--- all over our bong? Kys" >never got another message on the wall or saw the bong again I miss you drain buddies, sorry about your bong](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/list/002/558/394/23b.png "anon misses his bong buddy :-( | /r/Greentext")
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Uploaded Apr 09, 2017 at 11:17AM EDT
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Goatllama
Scrapbooker & Pundit & Media Bus Boy
