+6
COD IRL
Uploaded by Goatllama Dec 03, 2015 at 10:01AM EST
Origin Entry: Greentext Stories
File type: jpg
Resolution: (940px x 440px)
File size: 51.1 KB
Uploaded by Goatllama Dec 03, 2015 at 10:01AM EST
Origin Entry: Greentext Stories
File type: jpg
Resolution: (940px x 440px)
File size: 51.1 KB
![Anonymous 10/13/11(Thu)20:26 No.113380372 [ !] >In linear algebra class the vector intersects the points O and P so it's the OP line call it the f----- line outloud without really thinking >a few people laugh teacherdude just stares at me like "Why?" >laughter dies down >some neckbear at the back keeps laughing >Try to continue on with lesson but he wont stop >We hear some gagging, then the sound of an inhaler, then the laughter resumes We all turn around to look at him >He's still cracking up, his face is all blue and red >I'm thinking "What have I done?" >He falls out of his chair, wiggling around on the floor, still laughing maniacally >He can't control himself, he starts to fart >A few girls around him pass out >The farting continues, it shows no signs of stopping >You can hear the farts change tone and the smell gets deeper >We all know he is now s------- himself >The s--- forces its way out of his crappy, holey jeans >He is still a bright blue/red and laughing >The s--- rocket that is his ass begins to make him spin >He now looks like a Catherine Wheel firework powered by s--- instead of fire >Spaghetti rockets from his pocket >knocks out a few dudes around the classroom >At this point we all retreat outside the room and continue viewing from a safe distance >He's still wiggling and spinning and generally just wreaking havoc >We hear some sputtering and he slows down >He's now lying limp in the middle of the room, we all open the doors and take a few steps in, we think he's dead >We hear some gurgles and see him tilt his head round to look at me >l lean in to hear his last words without having to get closer to him >He looks up to teacherdude, with treats in his eyes and says his dying words >He thrusts his hips in the air and says "b-b-back that maths up" >teacherdude goes over and closes his eyes informs us that we have leant all we can about Linear Algebra leave the room, a single treat in my eye](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/049/060/d59.png "Back That Maths Up")
![□ Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)21:08 UTC+11 No.20366673 O Replies. 쯔 I dont know if this is the right place but here goes >Be my birthday >go to a bar to have a quiet drink and celebrate >New to the city so i pick random bar >Walk in -kinda seedy but meh >sit at the bar and order sweet potato stout and a shot of wild turkey wmv Bartender is a nice guy >Slow night so we strike up a convo >30 min. pass, bartender looks up "Jesus Christ not tonight." Turn around to see hubub l am in shock >Bar begins to fill with Vampires >Not real, but the pretend but believe their own lie' kind The f---?" I ask They been showing up every week man. I hate it but the buy alot of drinks." not really bothered so i keed drinking Hour passes >Place is f------ loud >Feel a tap on my shoulder >Turn around Nignog dressed in victorian style close and fake fangs with a dagger at his hip meanmugg'n me >Got three friends with him What are you doing here meat" >lt was my birthday so i diddnt want to start s--- "Just having a drink." >Turn back around Nig grabs my shoulder and spins me around This place isint for your kind. You need to leave or i wont be responsible for what happens next >Nig places hand on dagger >Bartender glances over seeing im in troubl wave barman off Ok im out. Sorry to ruin your party Walking to the door Thats right run little bitch" l stop >Jimmies [ JUnrustled [X] Rustled Walk to barman >Ask when this vampire s--- happens each week Barman says every Thursday >Got it >Now time to plan >Cont. . Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)21:38 UTC+ 11 No. 20366755 Reples: 2220366762 2220366755 2220366772 220366m 2220366819 2220366843 ne Begin to devise plan >Call up friend and ask if i can borrow a few things >Explain situation >Friend is down and lends me his stuff >Week passes >Mybodyisready arrive later in the evening >Parking lot is full >Few vamps outside smoking >Thetimeisnow.jpg >Begin slowwalk >Enter the bar >All jaws hit the floor time for some context My buddy who lent me the stuff is into Ren fairs. He dresses up and walks around with a sword and all that. I borrowed some of his costume stuff and a poly carbon training bastard >All eyes on me >Dressed head to toe as a Templar >Chainmail, plated gauntlets, plated greves and boots, bucket helmet, and the big red cross on my white robe. Sword at my side and a large iron cross my grandmother used as a wall ormament chained to my hip >Barman is rolling >Slowwalk to bar >Order stout and wild turkey >Sit there for an hour enjoying my drink and talking to the barman >Wispers in the crowd >l finish my drinking and go to pay "Nah man, it all good. I got ya." >Thank him for the free drinks and walk out >Heading to car when a voice rings out THE F--- IS YOUR PROBLEM?" >Nignog and company "What did i tell you last time? >No f--- given F--- off, c---" says I >Nigs gonna nog >Pulls dagger and advances >l draw the polycarbon niggabecool stick >They get in range FADUCK they hit the floor spit on them to add insult Godless heathen" >Get in car and leave >Week later, no more vamp night Barman ha New favorite bar In summation F--- vamps](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/044/974/07e.jpg "Heretics and heathens repent")
![Anonymous 09/14/13(Sat)04:29 No.209779346 209779586 □ Anonymous 09/14/13(Sat)04:28 No 209779142/ ▼2-209779334 >>209779346 2-209779415 >>209779417 >>209779447 >>209779674 Anonymous 09/14/13(Sat)04:24 No.20977874 Anonymous 09/14/13(Sat)04:23 No.209778675 [ ▼ ] >2209778749 >209775382 Funny ass painting, more so when I learned about the back story Oh, please do tell The Zapozharian Cossacks, a Christian people who occupied what we would call modern Ukraine, were sent a very bombastic and fancy letter by the Sultan, reading off his many titles and demanding their submission. They sent him back a letter that included such delicacies as "what sort of knight are thou, who cannot slay a hedgehog with thy naked ass? and "thou art the goatfucker of alexandria, the deviľ's own secretary, f--- thy mother Really quite a peace of work. The Sultan got buttmad and came to conquer them, and they beat the s--- out of his army because Cossacks Oh god this sounds funny as hell. I would love to read that whole letter Zaporozhian Cossacks to the Turkish Sultan! >O sultan, Turkish devil and damned devils kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight are you, that can't slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? The devil excretes, and your army eats. You will not, you son of a bitch, make subjects of Christian sons; we've no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, f--- your mother You Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-f----- of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, Armenian pig, Podolian thief, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our d---. Pig's snout, mare's arse, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw your own mother! So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. You won't even be herding Christian pigs. Now we'll conclude, for we don't know the date and don't own a calendar, the moon's in the sky the year with the Lord, the day's the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our arse! Basically it's the father of "gorilla warfare](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/044/858/87a.jpg "\"Zaporozhian Cossacks write to the Sultan of Turkey\" by Ilya Repin (1844–1930)")
