I'm both respecting your privacy by knocking, but asserting my authority as your father by coming in anyway. | Tumblr | Know Your Meme

youlaughlaughcentre+ grapejellyking why do parents bust in your room like they trynna catch you cheatin on them with another pair of parents Source: grapejellyking 352,162 notes

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parents cheating

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homunculus-argument My theory is that ghosts get their energy by sucking the oil out of door hinges. That's how you know a place is haunted. Because the doors creak, even if you've just oiled them. The ghosts suck the oil out.

kaijuno Follow Are you tired? Come scream with us, at the bog meetings every half moon at 3 a.m. Blaze 9,247 notes D

thx Follow call out post HELLO??? IS ANYONE THERE???????? achivement-unlocked Achievement unlocked! Hello world! Is anyone there..? #I intend for you to read this in the portal turret voice. ok goodbye #normal gameplay 104,032 notes D

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Now my shows will all start on time

ifyoulaugh pippenpaddlopsicopolisthethird .趋 IT FINALLY ENDED. SPORTS. Earn The Daily lo THE INDEPENDENT DAILY NEWSPAPER FOR THE UNIVERSITY OF IOWA COMMUNITY WEDNESDAY, APRIL 29, 2015 pippenpaddlopsicopolisthethird We did it. We're finally free. 235,225 notes

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Dedicated father

Dad spends school year waving at bus is been fin 52

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It's all about what the situation is placed in

People run from rain but sit in bathtubs full of water. C0 05 Charles Bukowski (via bittersweetsongs Wow bukowski so profound do you also bathe fully clothed you d-------. "Oohh isn't it funny that a person will eat when they're hungry but will duck if you throw an apple at their face"

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Someone find that clip so we can see that whole feeling of regret.

rvblocus SHE DIDN'T PUT A LID ON THE BLENDER AND I'M CRYING

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Like a Fucking Clown Scarf

August 30th, 2015 at 9:37PM deerdick asked: What if Rapunzel had super long hair when she was born? The doctor would be pulling like ten feet of slimy wet hair out. It'd be like a f------ clown's scarf. 32 notes #d--- answers a thing #deerdick

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I NEED AN ADU... Oh wait, I am an adult...

Today my 11 year old brother wanted us to go outside and play with his BB gun but my Dad wasn't around, so l was like "idk, maybe we shouldn't use it without adult supervision" and he just stared at me and I realized I am 20 l am an adult I am the adult supervision

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Agent 47's career beginnings

penceyprepofficial: when I was like 9 my neighbors asked me to watch their fish and cat while they went on vacation and I was like "lol k" and while they were gone tHE F------ FISH DIED so when they got home I apologized to the mom and she was just like "no need to apologize, turned the filter off so they would die because they are too much work. You did nothing wrong" and she gave me 20 bucks and that is the story of my first contracted murder First

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so I suck into his car

sifhappens: lheard my brother say he was going to dairy queen so l suck into his car and he has no idea I'm in here he asked his friend what he wanted and I popped up from the floor 'I was thinking about a milkshake' I have never heard two teenage boys scream louder

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The same can also be said if you remember someone who pissed you off long ago and now have an urge to punch someone in the face.

countingbooks c-parks urbancatfitters *has one uncomfortable interaction* *is f----- up for 3 days* more like 3 years more like the whole life Source: urbancatfitters 207,178 notes

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when you unsuspectingly see your best friend at the store

suctioning aciddd-angel: suctioning when you unsuspectingly see your best friend at the store why the f--- would this be my reaction You must not have a best friend

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Hell is other people. And Tumblr.

ST. CHRISTOPHER'S SOUTHEN BAPTIST CHURCH F YOU HAVE TUMBLR THEN YOU ARE GOING TO HELL lord-kitschener: esbiai thats fai f you have a tumblr then you're already there Reblogged 2 days ago from floating-head (originally from recovery-equals-happiness) 209,430 notes

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Tumblr in a nutshell

6omble Cocoune dic+ ds scremig the sitehas drug Porble s

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