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Greentext Stories - Image Gallery Page 7

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Anon derails biology class | /r/Greentext

Anonymous [Report] Image search: [Google] 2017-02-25 10:50:18 Post No. 723560076 >be me >14 y/o > school uses white boards > replace white board marker ink with permanent marker ink > Bio class 24KB, 495x495px > teacher happens to teach human reproduction on that day > Live in a pretty conservative country so it is a taboo topic > draws huge c--- on the board > class over > next teacher comes in > tries to erase the board > class laughs > my autism kicks in > "Ma'am stop rubbing the penis" > She loses it > principal's office > She doesn't know I replaced the ink > Lets me go > I go back and see 3 bottles of acetone from the chem lab > successfully wasted time and resources

femanon takes a guys vcard | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 163 KB JPG 01/10/23(Tue)12:14:18 No.892368837 >be 25f >want a pure cute boy to mess around with >find a virgin from my class I ended up dropping out of >he rejects me twice after I coyly ask if he wants to have sex >a year later ask him out to dinner and he agrees >I pressure him to drink and he gets drunk >we go on a walk and I take his virginity >It's cold and the grass was damp but he seemed to enjoy it Later I think about a scene I read from chainsaw man and try to reinact it with him >bite his fingers and tell him to memorize my bite >"That's kind of weird Anon but ok" 1 year later we're still dating. Am I autistic?

How depressing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/03/23(Mon)21:15:36 No.73888668 tomoki.jpg 222 KB JPG >tfw no dead n----- storage bf

Now this is epic | /r/Greentext

>>902763465 (OP) >Be traveling the world in the early 00's after my grandfather left me a small fortune >I end up in Cambodia headed to Angkor Wat >Staying in Siem Reap trying to find a good guide that speaks coherent English because the one I had currently was a little bit scummy and his English was bad >The guy, trying to save his job I guess, offers to take me to a red light district of some sort >I say "F--- it" and we go and it was kind of disgusting even as far as that s--- I've seen >Found this gorgeous girl and I decided to hire her for a week to keep me company >Try to explain it to the guide and he looks confused at first but after a little bit he starts nodding and smiling and says "Yes! Yes!" >He talks to the whatever the Cambodian equivalent of a pimp is and they shouted for a bit and then I forked over about $600 USD equivalent and we left >Take her back to my hotel room and we basically f--- for 3 days until the agency I'm working with sends over a new guide >I talked to the guy for a bit and he talks to the girl and lets me know that I didn't hire a prostitute. I bought some dudes daughter. >I flip out because of human trafficking is not what I wanted >We talked to the girl and we end up paying her another $500 USD equivalent and the guide returns her to her family And that is how I once bought a woman and paid to return her.

Anon dumps a game | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/16/23(Sun)17:32:35 No.644336546 >make a purchase of a lamination machine that will work for a video game box (does this exist? I would not know) >at work, receive a shipment of the game however long it comes before it comes out >memorize camera locations of the store >wear a jacket or some kind of article that would allow for easy and hidden storage >stock and store the games in whatever location they would go into the backroom (typically Targets have a cage where all vidya stuff would go behind, but IIRC my target just had games out in the open in the backroom, including street dated ones) >with your back turned against the camera, inventory the games and put them in a slot in the backroom, reporting the correct inventory, BUT also take one copy with you and place it in that article, back against the camera ofc >once your shift's over, go home, open game box and take out cartridge, for extra schizo use gloves >using your hacked switch, dump the game onto an sd card >drive/fly somewhere distant where you can find remote public wifi to dump the game on that can't be used to identify you >place cartridge back in box, and relaminate the game's box (how feasible this would be I would not know, and if relamination isn't possibly, when opening, simply gently cut the plastic so that you can take the game cartridge out without causing too much noticeable damage) >next shift, take the leaked game back, and place it right where it was in the back room, in an unsuspecting manner And, well, if you do get caught? Maybe a fine from the police and you're fired from your soulless wagie job. In Minecraft, once again. Actually, maybe in Terraria, that's a better game.

Anon Pet Sits | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous REENT ORANEE LIVING IN DARKNESS 23 KB JPG 07/17/23 (Mon)13:55:06 No.74062489 >mom adopts stray dog >Says she'll take care of it >Family goes on vacation >Alone with two dogs for the weekend >All goes smoothly >Monday >Have to leave new dog (puppy) in crate >Puppy has separation anxiety >Leave for work >Come home at lunch >Sour smell hits me as soon as I open the door. >Rush upstairs >S--- everywhere >Puppy gnawing at the crate door, caked in s--- >Attempt to clean it >Lunch break is over >Have to drive back to work smelling of dog s--- to clock out for the day >Come home to clean s---. I don't want pets anymore.

anon llikes scat | /r/Greentext

Hady Sixx 813 KB JPG >be me >into scat >notice my dog makes these delicious looking things called turds >get horny one day while walking my dog and picking up the turds after it >get home with a bag of steaming s--- >can'twastethis.exe >make a sandwich >a grilled s--- sandwich that is >My mom comes home early from work and is greeted by the most pungent smell you could imagine >in disbelief as she opens the toaster oven where the grilled s--- sandwich .tm is cooking >anon, what is this? >explain to her I'm trying out a new recipe I thought of >asks me "is this your s---?" >politely tell her it's the dogs turds, and how I'm trying out this new scat thing >she doesn't get it >at first I see horror, then rage in her eyes for raising such a degenerate >she beats my ass >makes me clean the toaster oven >decide to sneak in a bite >slide dem logs.exe >sees me, beats me again sandwich was mid bros, but I think she overreacted with the whole beating thing, I'm not allowed near the dog anymore and I'm getting kicked out of the house soon, which I don't really see what the big deal is. I'm gonna try to apply for a job as the septic tank cleaner, I'm thinking of upgrading and perhaps giving swimming in s--- a try soon. I'll keep you updated bros

Anon meets his groupmate | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 438 KB PNG 07/17/23 (Mon)16:50:16 No.74063748 >enroll in chemistry class at community college over summer >class is full of women >lab starts, we head to separate room >take a seat on a steel stool >professor announces assigned groups >everyone gets into their new seats >get up from my seat >a huge imprint of my ass sweat is on the stool >the girl assigned to my seat sees and pretends to not notice >has one knee kneeling on the side of the stool rather than sitting H--------, this is so embarrassing. We are going to be seeing each other every weekday until the end of next month.

Anon the Urine King | /r/Greentext

1d (7/16 9:56) 71618039 3 Replies >>71609229 (OP) I define myself as the URINE KING >be me >Whenever I know I have to go to a public restroom with urinals, I try to drink as much water as possible and don't piss for as long as I can take it >I wait in the bathroom for a victim >When he goes in an urinal, I go in the one right next to his >Like half the time people can't even piss because they have someone in the stand right next to them (beta) >Sometimes I wait for them to start pissing and i rush to the next urinal, a lot of times they stop mid stream >If they manage to keep pissing I unleash my stream >A literal river >In the gym I train my lower abdomen a lot just so I can piss harder >I squeeze my abs to maximize the stream, it is so strong that most of the times droplets fly out of the urinals and onto my clothes >I say something like "oh wow I just had to take a simple leak". It's obviously a lie but no one will never know >I piss so hard that is sounds like I'm frying potatoes >Everyone gets intimidated and leaves >No one has p----- longer than me for the moment >I'm the f------ URINE KING

Anon sees black panther | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/01/18(Sat) 19:09:12 No.47872764 >be me >go see black panther on opening weekend >movie theater PACKED with black people >talking, dancing, yelling at the screen, blasting rap music on their phones before >settle in to my seat in the first row 153 KB PNG >whip out rotisserie chicken i snuck in >black guy next to me nods >"you alright white boy" >movie starts, people go crazy >im really enjoying the flick >gets to the fight scene between killmonger and black panther >I yell "DAT N---- BOUT TO GET DABBED ON" >whole theater laughs in approval and acceptance of my joke >black guy next to me "that's my man, you one of us brother" >females start dancing down the aisles towards my seat, twerking in front of me >"he cute" today was a good days guys

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