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Greentext Stories - Image Gallery Page 3

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Anon recites the days of the week | /r/Greentext

e: IMG_0829.jpg (167 KB, 538x475) Does anyone else keep getting social media vids and pics saying not to j-------? Surely my f----- up browser history indicates this is never going to happen. >no masterbation mondays >no tug tuesdays >no wank wednesdays >no thrash thursdays >no fap fridays >no spank saturdays >no splooge sundays Who are these freaks who want to take away the only thing im good at?

Anon is fucked | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 101 KB JPG 06/02/23(Fri)12:29:33 No.137510286 >Be me >Not living in an English- speaking country >New spiderman releases >Won't appear online until November >Local cinemas will only play it in a s----- dub >Doesn't want to spoil the experience by watching a cam rip >MFW

Anon is stressed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 56 KB JPG 06/02/23(Fri)06:36:24 No.73530664 >work crush asks me a question not relevant to her job >(I think she might like me too and was trying to make conversation) >I get really hot and feel sweat drops fall off my face >sperg mumble about tcp handshake >stare into each others eyes for ten seconds >she says ok and runs off

Anon loses his chances | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 214 KB PNG 06/02/23(Fri)08:02:16 No.73531273 >be 13 year old me >back at school for the first time in the year >hear about femoid who likes me >flip table >flip chair noway.mp3 >she also gives out head >1 period later >i sit near someone who is talking >i get moved >refuse to move because its inbetween 2 femoids (who are c----) >friend turn on me >getting yelled at by class mates >trying to be calm >also forgot meds today >continued yelling >teacher offers i move to another spot >i take it >femoids i was supposed to sit near continue to harass and "friend" also harasses >cannot take it anymore >angry.mp3 >realise what ive done >try to rearrange tables and chairs >start to cry and laugh because of the situation >try to make a funny >"lets get back to learning" >no one laughs >teacher tells me to get out of classroom >next day >femoid who was interested in me calls me a school shooter >mfw i lost all chance of having a GF because me being an autist

Anon does war crimes | /r/Greentext

>Iraq... >Driving through some broke ass sand village. >Kids playing in the road. >Lead truck, I tell the VC >he tells me to keep driving Historically when kids stop convoys, there's always an ambush in play. They use the kids to stop the lead vehicle then the adults open up with everything they have. Kill everyone. >I shut my eyes, the road is straight. >bump... 14 KB JPG >bump bump.. >bump bump bumpy bump... >distant screaming. >bump >I've never been the same since.

Anon probably lives in Alabama | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous My uncomfortable cousin story 06/02/23(Fri)05:51:13 No.73530371 29 KB JPG Posting here because you f------ are probably into this s--- and should judge if I'm a massive f-- or not. Also because I need to get this out of my head. >be 10 >mom is sick >dad out of the picture >calls her sister to help with stuff around the house >brings over her 9 year old daughter >we constantly fight >eventually hit her hard >mom finds out, obviously grounds me >her mom and mine tell us to reconciliate, locks us together on the room where I'm grounded >still p----- at her >she kisses me on the cheek >says she deserves a kiss for what I did to her >eventually that turns into cuddling and pecking each other on the lips and cheeks >afterwards, our moms notice we're getting along better and unground me >we spend the next few days very close to each other, hugging often and sometimes kissing >eventually aunt and cousin leave >we rarely see each other ever again >fastforward 10 years >she tried to reach out a few times >give cold responses because we've grown apart and there's nothing to talk about I can give further context if anyone wants just not anything too personal.

Anon wants a happy ending | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/02/23(Fri)09:16:15 No.73531650 > be me > 22 years old > virgin > jacking off to pornhub doesnt do it for me anymore > I ask my friends at discord if they have any ideas > they tell me about those Thai massage places that has happy endings 174 KB PNG > why not > i google the closest massage center where I live > it has a 3.1 rating on google > cant be that bad > the next day I head over to the massage parlor > ask for a regular massage > a short hot Thai lady with big fake breast tells me to take my clothes off and wrap myself with a towel > after the massage the hot Thai lady asks if I want any other treatments > uhm.. > how about a happy ending? > the rooms goes silent > the lady puts a towel over my head and tells me to relax > I hear she walks out but after a while someone comes back in > the lady starts to touch my ass > itstime.exe > the lady tells me to turn around > the Thai lady starts sucking my peepee > I take the towel over my head away to see this beauty > its another woman and not the same hot one > I can see this bitch has a d--- > its a f------ she male > I get up and leave fast > starts crying when I get home

Anons creed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Easy cash bois 276 KB PNG 06/02/23(Fri)08:50:03 No.3076654 >be me > been playing a lot of assassins creed > really fascinated by the parkour > I want to do parkour s--- too > watching yt tutorials on how to land properly and other basic s--- > later that day > the moon shines down onto my neighborhood > its time > I dress up > all blacked out clothes > I bicycle to the local town center and park my bicycle next to some bushes > I scout some buildings where i can test my skills > ah the local library > I go around the building and finds a ladder > when Im on top Im scouting other buildings and obstacles > start jumping from building to building > somehow I end up on a s----- roof > its the kind where the floor is squishy and gives after > when Im about to jump to the next roof the roof collapses > I fall straight down into a s----- looking Indian restaurant > cuts my whole left leg up > pain.exe > get up and trying to relocate myself > i see the cash register > why not > open it > finds approximately 170 dollars in cash > take it > suddenly a cop car parks outside with their flashing lights > time to bolt > I get a chair and climbs up the hole I fell trough > bolts back to my bike and cycles home > bandages my self up > next day I head to GameStop with the cash I got > buy the new call of duty

Anon forgets that lawyers cost a pretty penny | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 211 KB PNG 06/02/23(Fri)08:59:28 No.73531562 > be me > gets in a bar fight > police comes > for some reasons I get fined when I didnt start the brawl > gets fined 400$ for misbehaving or some s--- > f--- you cops > going to court with this because I was not in the wrong here > gets a mediocre lawyer > after a few days I get the bill down to 50$ > f--- yeah > the bill for the lawyer is 700$ > forgot that lawyers are expensive Am I retarted anons?

Anon has a conversation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous BUC 56 KB JPG 06/02/23(Fri)03:56:20 No.73529706 >be me >going on airplane >see cute girl and try to talk to her >feel extremely uncomfortable just sitting next to her >start interrogating her about her hobbies. >she's actually enjoying the conversation seems >for no reason at all I feel spaghetti slipping out >immediately retreat and awkwardly just sit on the other side of the seats >wewlad.jpg >try to talk to her a second time after >h-hey uhhhh that's cool you like are in college what are you studying? >awkward silence and more spaghetti spills out >tell her sorry and get the f--- out >mfw

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