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Greentext Stories - Image Gallery Page 2

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Anon has a work friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11 KB JPG 09/29/21 (Wed)18:57:32 No.65570074 >>65569478 (OP) # >at work >work friend is womanizer and thinks I'm a fellow chad bc I'm physically fit and tall >he starts to wonder why he's the only one going after chicks >points out a shy pretty new chick and tells me "she's all yours bro, go get her" >terrified of interacting with females, avoid her and panic if I run into her >he comes up one day and nervously asks if I'm still trying with her >tell him no and he tells me he talked to her and they connected. Asks if it's cool to swoop in >I'm beyond relived and tell him to go ahead >later tells me he got a hotel, they got drunk, and f----- like animals the first night they hung out. >That continues to happen and he brags showing texts how bad she wants him. >She starts hinting at wanting something more serious and he lets her know he isn't with that >She asks him permission to date a guy at work and he's okay with it >he tells her to hit him up if and when the guy doesn't do it for her like he does (she happily says okay) >she asks him to pretend they never interacted around the guy >The guy is a nice, friendly, clean cut short young dude >For him she's taking it slow, they're going out on dates >Cringe when I see him looking so excited talking to her. Can tell it's his first real young "adult" delve into dating. >avoid eye contact whenever I pass by him >>65570237 # >>65570274 # >>65570303 # >>65570353 # >>65570367 # >>65570444 # >>65570663 # >>65570843 # >>65570907 # >>65571332 # >>65571351 # >>65572709 # >>65573394 # >>65573422 # >>65573745 #

Anon cosplays | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/02/15(Tue)02:17:18 No.8371654 >>8371656 >>8371666 >>8371667 >>8371672 >>8371683 >>8371723 >>8371736 >>8373458 >>8379439 >>8383263 >>8383304 File: 54aybd.png (232 KB, 640x480) >back in highschool >plan crossplay for con (Azu-nyan) >practice makeup, hip padding, etc. >not that passable but enough to not look fug and awkward >dad is super conservative and traditional, so hide all this from him >Thursday before con >friends come to pick me up for road trip to con >they're late >dad not supposed to be home when they arrive but they're pushing it close >already in full cosplay with makeup since there are Thursday events >consider taking it all off but friends arrive >out the door before they even call to say they're here >friends help me load my s--- into car >realize i left my housekeys on kitchen counter, ask friends to finish packing my stuff into car while i grab the keys >they were late so it's the least they could do right? >nope >i come back out, they're bullshitting with the trunk open >really anxious now, it's past 5 and dad will be home any minute >stuff gets packed and dad's car rolls up while one bitch friend is being passive-aggressive about seating >i urge everyone to get in before s--- gets awkward, we can swap seats at rest stop >dad is parking car >we finally work out seating >dad gets out of car while i am climbing into ours >his eyes meet mine >he smiles really fake-ly >duck into car and try to hide >anxious for a while but eventually relax and enjoy con >come home Sunday night, wearing normal clothes, hiding all my moeshit swag and cosplay in bags in my luggage >dad: "so anon, did you have fun? who was the girl?" >think he means one of my friends, say, "dad that was X, you met her before." >"no not that d---, the one with the black pigtails." >w--, is he making fun of me? >"if i were younger i'd be on that ass so hard, anon, she wouldn't know what hit her." >he laughs, goes back to what he was doing >i go to my room and reevaluate my life choices For weeks after, every time I'd try to fap I'd just remember my dad announcing he'd wreck my ass if he was younger and my boner would be kill.

Anon is about to commit a holocaust | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 164 KB JPG milk 06/23/23(Fri)22:38:50 No.2602025 >wake up >make a cup of coffee >go out to check on the garden >thinkin bout them beans >thinkin bout them 'maters and them peppers >Get to garden >Nothing but bare sticks and hoof prints There aren't enough .308 rounds in the world for these antlered rodents. Bambi must be eradicated from this earth. If you are driving somewhere after seeing this post and see a deer in the road, floor it. Waste em all tl;dr = Deer, REEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Anon is indeed not a virgin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous It was over before it started Have sex SEE YOU SPICE CORO... 52 KB JPG 07/03/23(Mon)12:07:12 No.73887321 >Be me, 21 y/o eurofag > 6'6", conventionally attractive (I know because people are generally very nice to me when I first interact with them, and friends moms in general love me) >Not a complete smooth smoothbrain (getting a degree in chemistry rn) >still a virgin, have no clue how to interact properly with the opposite sex >most of my closest friends are women, but I can't look at them romantically, I always find something wrong with them Why can't I get laid? Is it because I got molested by my brother at 7? I don't think it's that important tho I'm probably just too much of a nerd and socially retarded

It can't be that difficult, right? | /r/Greentext

write a 4chan greentext: >be me, concrete drinker >go to store >see 2 liter of water for $1 >pick it up >look at nutrition label >see that it has 0 calories >look at concrete instead >concrete has 250 calories per serving >put water back >buy concrete

Anon goes to the gym | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/03/23 (Mon)13:45:30 No.71473371 >be me this morning, foreigner in Danish gym >see a skinny as f--- dyel kid on the squat rack next to me with his gf >can't understand what they're talking about >she keeps talking to him, hugging him, both laughing and just f------ around >guy tries to do rows, she's touching his hair, being annoying in general while not doing a single lift >looks like he wants to escape his high school sweetheart, goes in the bathroom 28 KB JPG >she does rows with just the f------ barbell >meanwhile while watching this disgraceful scene for about 40 minutes, I'm busting my ass doing deads, squats, OHP >he comes back and they keep f------ around, she's doing halfassed push ups with her t--- out, keeps laughing non stop >normally I'm too anxious to speak up or talk to anyone >couldn't let this one slide >on my way out tell the guy "your girlfriend is a gains goblin bro. You haven't done a single lift while I was here. You need to quit that s---." >they both look flabbergasted, mouths agape and wide-eyed >see the guy trying to say something or throw hands behind my back, I put on my headphones and hoodie and walk away Seriously. I see a lot of gym idiots at my commercial gym but this takes the f------ cake. If you come to lift, please don't be like this couple.

Becoming bald is understanding the game was rigged from the start. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 123 KB PNG 08/23/22(Tue)18:52:46 >have Leon Kennedy pretty boy hair No.69927176 >start losing chunks of hair everytime I comb >remember dad lost 90% of his hair in his late 20s >be 23 I spent years cutting and dieting to look like picrel and now I have no choice but to either look like andrew tate or kratos from god of war 4 f------ male pattern baldness genetics, damn it dad

Anon likes bunnies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I like it when there's a silly little bunny 07/02/23(Sun)13:48:42 No.10891265 even me? am isilly? ur tweet: 20221210_124415.jpg 145 KB JPG what did i do? u like me i am that way i liked this picture and thought i should show my friends!!1! i like the bunes i hope you like them too! feel free to screenshot :)

Anon advocates for veganism | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous for gods sake 139 KB PNG 07/03/23(Mon)11:58:00 No.901959630 i got a gem for you bros >be me >22 and vegan (for ethical and health reasons) >slight sperg >nobody around me understands veganism idea.exe >wait for another cat to get hit by a car >grab a fork and a knife >THIS WILL SHOW THEM THEIR LOGICAL INCONSISTENCY >sit by the corpse of the cat acting like I'm trying to eat it >after some back and fourth in a local whatsapp group of my town the owner arrives >she screams at me >actually slaps me and I tear up >I try to explain that this is actually reasonable since the cat is already dead and she happily pays for other animals to have their throat slashed just so she can taste meat >nobody gets it >get mocked and screamed at by neighbours peaking out the window I'm done with this s---

Anon meets a girl online | /r/Greentext

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