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Greentext Stories - Image Gallery Page 16

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Jumping to conclusions | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/19/21(Thu)12:58:03 No.65049060 >good mothers >funky dance moves >favorite food is mosquitos and termites >venom not dangerous >don't bite people >don't make irritating webs 923 KB JPG >easy to find >cute >funny >friendly why haven't you released an army of jumping spiders in your house

Anon just wants to make pleasing music | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/11/21(Wed)23:10:43 No.860871920 >really f------ love eating my girl out >love hearing the sounds she makes >one time realise she makes a different kind of moan depending on what l'm doing 6 KB JPG >the sounds she makes vary in pitch, I can make her make specific noises at will >try to play the Darth Vader theme on her >almost got it >she snaps out of euphoria the second she figures out what I'm trying to do >mood killed instantly >she doesn't trust me down there again >tfw l'm not allowed to eat p---- anymore

Anon Aims High | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)23:34:02 No.65043688 >air force physical test expects you to do 20 push ups >can only do 4 I'm not even fat, what the f---? 85 KB JPG

Coated feelings | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/19/21(Thu)09:30:47 No.65046920 >become in love with my sister >don't even see any other woman as a potential mate >can never confess my feelings to her because it might drive her away and f--- my relationship with my family >might as well just kill myself 105 KB JPG you don't know true pain : Anonymous 08/19/21(Thu)09:36:25 No.65046961 >>65046920 (OP) # >wear a fake mustache and a trenchcoat and ask your sister out in your deepest voice

Anon’s perfect plan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)03:30:59 No.64941869 >be me >Mexican >hate that (most) gringos think May 5 is our Independence Day >think of an iconic USA celebration a alamy stock photo >from now on I will say thanksgiving is USA Independence 29 KB JPG Day

Anon watches DBZ | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/03/19(Wed)21:57:28 No.803751235 >be me >saiyan >l've known about my special gift for a few years how >want to tell my parents about my gift >me and my family will be visiting a restaurant to celebrate my 32 KB JPG mother's birthday >perfect opportunity.mp4 >go to dinner >my parents, grandparents and little brother are all sitting around the table >wait for everyone to settle down so can make a make a toast >l stand up and say "l'd like to say a few words." >everyone quiets down and my mother smiles at me >l explain to them how I have a special gift and that I'm saiyan, and tell them how much of a relief it is to finally this off my chest >my mother is no longer smiling >she gets up and says she has to use the bathroom >we finish eating in silence >my parents schedule a meeting with a psychiatrist the next day >mfw I ruined my mother's birthday >mfw I got diagnosed with schizophrenia

Two sides of the same coin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Bipolar feels 08/18/21(Wed)18:53:58 No.65038743 >be me >have bipolar disorder >start feeling suddenly happier one day >start feeling good about myself and self-esteem is boosted 170 KB JPG >have all the energy in the world >start having creative thoughts >message girls, they like my energy, optimism and confidence >become an alpha >ego starts tripping too much >God complex starts >happiness turns to irritation >become violent and dominant >abandon or hurt people around me >wake up one day >energy is gone, self-esteem is gone, optimism is gone >can't even get out of bed >those who haven't abandoned me already distance themselves from me as they can't stand my depressive sluggish behavior >become anxious and shy >flip back again

Anon loses his balls | /r/Greentext

No.9739620 4 hours ago EFC224EA-8B40-4C49-9899-42881473A0E0.jpg JPG 265.2 KiB 1284x1267 >be born >open your eyes for the first time and realize you were born a puppy >life's great >sucking on your moms t--- a family comes and says they're going to adopt you >weeks go by they take you home >life in your new home is great >few more weeks go by and you hear talk of "snipping your balls" >w--?? >go for car ride, licking your nuts and enjoying them whilst riding to the vet >you get there, breathe some funny gas, pass out >wake up >there's a cone around your head and an ominous feeling that something is missing >few days later you go to lick your balls That's when it hits you, they're f------ GONE. Such is the the life of the average dog in North America 1 reply

Once bitten, twice shy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/13/21(Fri)03:58:58 No.64954941 >another wasp crawls into my room >remember what happened last time >pick it up with a cloth instead of my bare hands >release it outside safely 1.27 MB PNG You're never too old to learn new skills.

Zone of control | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)20:05:16 No.65039679 >been freindzoned by my oneitis for 10 years >she's recently married >drunk texted her and asked to meet up and hangout >seeing her this weekend 550 KB PNG I'm not gonna make it, am | 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 08/18/21 (Wed)20:06:57 No.65039699 >>65039679 (OP) # just tell her you were drunk and enjoy your day platonically, you dumb f------ normie : Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)20:08:12 No.65039713 >>65039679 (OP) # Dude you already put up with 10 years of friendzoning. What's one more day?

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