Memes
Categories
Trending
News
Images
Trending Images
Videos
Trending Videos
Editorials
Meme Insider
Newsletter
Policies and Guidelines
Login

Greentext Stories - Image Gallery Page 11

Newest
Oldest
Comments
Favorites
High Score
Low Score
Views

All
Trending

More:

Dwarven Bard - Battle of Gods

5e campaign >All the homebrew >Party consists of Human barbarian and Dragonborn druid >And me, Dwarf bard >Picked bard for persuasion, never utilized any bardic abilities >Basically a fighter with mad Charisma Enter small town >Some dude covered in webs recruits us to kill some spiders Decide to abide by DM's plot device, follows web-covered forest road Eventually reach clearing after a couple of minor fights >Huge-class spider gets the jump on us DM is a sadistic guy, this was our first boss battle >We're level 3 I charge it >whatcouldgowrong.wav >Nat 20 with regular battleaxe to the skull, max rolls >Instakill DM angry that the first boss died so easily to the bard >Travel for a few weeks End up in major city >I ask where I can go to duel some people One of bard's personality traits is overconfidence, so I accept any challenge DM decides to get revenge Invited into some underground dueling club >Basically DM wanted me to die here so I could create a fighter instead of bard >BS my way through a few enemies >"Alright, everybody welcome the champion, Dream and Crusher!" >Notice two names >Ohshit.mp4 >Ettin walk in Axe bigger than entire body >Idea time +8 persuasion because bard >Persuade the Ettin to share a drink with me >Pour Flask of Holding into barrel (Bard is also alcoholic) >Ettin starts drinking literal barrels of mixed brew >Drink potion of firebreathing >Asks Ettin, "Wanna see a magic trick?" >Breath fire into his mouth >Ettin explodes >Take one of the Ettin's heads Turn it in to city guard >Sell out fighting ring, collect sweet reward >DisregardDMsAcquireCurrency.flv >Continue on journey for awhile, nothing special >Do my best to piss off DM through Macgyver-esque nonsense >Return to same town >Party is kidnapped >Wake up in underground arena >Fighting group wants revenge for selling them out AKA DM wants revenge for BSing my way through his campaign >Ideservethis.png >DM pits us against animated suits of armor >Weapons hardly damaging them >Everyone is slowly dying >Almost TPK >Realization >Drink all alcohol I possess, along with all my potions of firebreathing >Cover myself in remaining flammable liquid >Drink potion of giant strength DM tells me if I don't stop drinking everything, I might explode >Littledidheknow.potato >Throw all animated suits into corner >I yell "Do you wanna see a magic trick?" >I tackle them while holding my breath and activating Spew Flames >Insert edgy terrorist joke here >I die, suits of armor die Roll new character, campaign continues as normal, incorporating people from the fighting ring here and there >Super fun, continues for a couple more sessions >Turns out the arena was entirely improvised by the DM >MFW the DM created an entire subplot in his intricate worldbuilding to kill an alcoholic smartass dwarvish bard Feelsgoodman

New years tendies

New year, new me Anonymous 12/31/17(Sun)14:57:31 No.42171084 >watching adult swim in my play room >mommy comes in with a grin >"hey anon, have you heard about this fun new challenge? >fun? i like fun >"its called new year, new me, its when you change for good >it is a challenge? never lose a challenge only normies lose a smug grin grows on my face I will show them, i can change New vear, new me >next day >mum: "anon! wake up! it is time for your "tendies >"mother, i do not want "tendies" I want chicken tenders "anon! whats with the new act?" >new vear, new me >she smiles and gets me tendies and apple juice in a fancy cup >weirdest cup ive seen >i think thats mommy's wine cup >"you know anon, we should celebrate this new year! I'll call chad" >RE- "splendid" i say >Chad comes over "so.. me and chad have a surprise.." surprises? i like surprises >"We are getting married!" >Say "fantastic >chad gets a strange look on his face >Chad:"whats with anon's act? >mommy just laughs and says "new year, new him >chad bursts out laughing and clapping >"T knew he had to grow up at some point, like the time he called tenders "tendies" >THIS NORM >"well, that sure was immature of me "AND THAT TIME WHEN HE WORE ADULT DIAPERS" > "chadford thats enoug "AND REMEMBER WHEN HE USED GOOD BOY POINT- >Take off all my clothes except my diaper that is now full >IM PICKLE REEEEEEEEEEE >Punch chad >"ANON, CALM DOWN SHE >JUST TOLD >ME >TO >CALM DOWN >Punch mommy with a force of 100 elephants >mommy flies and makes a big hole in the wall >mommy will have to fix that up >Chad is escaping >grab table cloth >TEBURUKUROSU LASSOORRUUUUU Reel chad in >"CHADDY YOU HAVE BEEN BADDY YOU CANNOT BE NEW DADDY >Stuff fire crackers in chad's mouth finish it off with my full diaper throw him out the window >chad's head explodes later >mommy wakes up in the hospital "a-anon?" >smile ean in closer >whisper "its time for tendies

Way of the Thrown Orc Shlong

>Be me >Playing second ever campaign with 3 other people (Dm 1 edgy elf rogue 1 dwarf druid) >I'm playing as a monk >Weaboo af >Some noble tells us to help a village in the mountains >Party goes "sure, why not" as we don't wanna f--- up DM's quest line >We arrive to the village and it's almost empty except for two orcs and a few scared (human) villagers Turns out a nearby orc tribe has kidnapped all the women and killed all the men >eeh...ok.gif >We arrive at orc camp, kill all the orcs Out steps the orc war boss, and at this point we're all at low HP >guesswe'lldie.jpeg War boss goes straight for edgy rogue (who is squishy af) >Is too far away for melee so decide to act quickly >Cut off the d--- of one of his fallen orc comrades and throws it at him DM says he'll allow it but it doesn't count as a ranged weapon (but i think "hey, at least it might aggro him on me instead of squishy rogue") >Whole party in suspense as i roll dice >NAT F------ 20 >Monk character reaches maximum enlightenment, discovers new monastic tradition: way of the thrown penis >The orc d--- lands directly in his mouth One last orc who was apparently on patrol walks in and sees his boss with a cut off d--- in his mouth >He is so ashamed of his boss, he helps us take him down >Slightly homophobic orc becomes new team-member (played by DM) >After this glorious victory we rescue the women Apparently the orcs were using them as breeding animals to get half-orc warriors to fight off a goblin invasion or some s--- >We were supposed to be shocked, but we were still laughing from my epic d----throw >That moment when DM tries his best to create a serious dark campaign and it's all ruined by an orc d--- and a weaboo monk

Local Japanese Man Takes The Train

Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed)21:50:52 No. 175139328 ->>175139418 >>175139475 175138640 be a grumpy depressed japanese salaryman going to work Poh boy, here's the train, the start of your daily hell, the izuhakone... happy party train? the cars are covered in anime idols staring at you smiling, arms stretched out begging for a hug disgusting get inside, hoping to be free of that shameful trash the inside is also lined with anime the seats are covered in anime there's anime hanging from the ceiling half the passengers are wearing robes adorned with the likenesses of anime characters >kuso actually manage to grab a seat, just because one of the otaku thought you were scary looking Phear 'hagul as soon as you sit down a pair of robotic arms fly out from the seat and gently rest on your torso lifelike texture otaku and a few rail staff turn towards you and start clapping Sooooh, one millionth passenger!" "kanan gave him a hug! lucky bastard" "i want a hug from kanan" stand up in disgust f------ suwa nanaka makes her way through the crowd and gives you the biggest hug her underdeveloped eternal loli body can muster and tells you to have a nice day you do not have a nice day your country, your beautiful country, is gone you work to support your family so they can live in this place? take a smoke break at work and jump off the roof

Welp. You gotta figure out that one for yourself anon

Anonymous 12/24/17(Sun)19:15:01 No.754797723 no social media only go on reddit and 4chan >I hate reddit >4chan hates me どehh . 18 KB PNG

anon finds happiness

296970883 childhood best >Have lifelong childhood best friend who is a girl >We swear 1 00% never to be boyfriend and girlfriend >Come 18 we're f------ like rabbits >Married her at 25 >>96983342 # Anonymous 11/22/17(Wed)15:10:37 No.9698334 >>96978978 # How does happiness feel anon? Care to share it with us?

D&D Betrayal

□ Anonymous 11/25/14(Tue)18:28:53 No.5853006 >>5853020 >>5857450 >>5859006 1381741170733.png (27 KB, 144x161) google igdb saucenao igdb regex I'M NOT 5851751 SURE WHAT'S >Be concubine character >High bluff but very basic combat skills and nothing for utility >Supposed to be high level campaign but I'm adamant this is who I want to go with GOING ON, BUT MY A------ IS>Have to be carried through every fight basically, party thoroughly annoyed IN DANGER! Finally make it to dark lord's fortress >Betray party and announce I love the dark lord and will do anything for him >Party locked in dungeon while dark lord and me have wedding ceremony >We retire to his chambers to consummate, at this point party telling me and DM to stop this is f------ stupid they just want to D&D not bear witness to our ERP >The dark lord turns his back on us and I reveal myself >Concubine opens her legs and epic level halfling rogue slides out of her ass >This was my true character all along rg/srdie skills.htm#extremelyTightSpa >l've been rolling to stay hidden up her ass the entire campaign to get close enough to the dark lord to assassinate him >Concubine is just a hired NPC that DM agreed probably had an a--- circumference of more than 2 inches and was willing to let it slide >One last roll >With his legendary armour removed and his back turned he never sees me coming >Shoot up there like a flash before he even knows what's happening >Destroy him from the inside like a whirling dervish >Free party from dungeons and clean up the rest of his minions >Entire group is speechless and that was how I saved the l and

[cue "Sounds of Silence"]

Anonymous 12/16/17(Sat)00:03:13 No.97512319 2297510521 # Girl asked me out for a coffee yesterday >"I don't drink coffee" >"Well, you don't have to 36 KB JPG get any" >"What, and just watch you drink coffee for 15 minutes?" Why do l do this to myself # >>97516945 # >>97529252 # >297544102 # >>97545596 # >297545645 # >>97550152 # >>97559084 >7

Burn

12/06/17(Wed)22:41:21 No. 152315696 fire.jpg 364 KB JPG >> 152305387 (OP) # 1920 >be californian >get duped into buying Australian eucalyptus trees plant thousands of acres >Australians forget to mention it takes at least 100 years for the trees to mature >thousands of investors go broke >2017 >100 years later eucalyptus trees have spread everywhere and have finally matured >Australians also forgot to mention the trees produce a highly flammable toxic oil that builds up in the tree california burns down

This is the future that sjw want.

File: faminisum.ipg (34 KB, 560x330) Anonymous 12/04/17 (Mon)13:53:05 No.752885998 [Reply752886712 The year is 2020… >Be me >Arrive at campus >Go through mandated privilege checkpoint >"State your privilege" >Um... white? And um >I'm cut off and immediately sent to the back of the line because it's not fair I got in line before other races of people >After an hour of being sent to the back of the line l can finally go to class > Teacher tells us to open our books but I don't have one because I'm white and that would give me an unfair privilege over others >She asks a question >No one responds >Hey I know this! >l raise my hand >Yes anon go to the gender neutral bathroom >"Uh... no I um... wanted to answer the question. >I'm met by several gasps and all of the black kids turn and look at me ANON YOU KNOW YOU"RE SUPPOSE TO CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE AND ALLOW EVERYONE ELSE TO ANSWER FIRST! >She sends me to the mandated privilege office where I receive a strike > "Now stay out of trouble anon." >"Uh yea thank you ma'am "DID YOU JUST ASSUME MY GENDER >I'm given two more strikes and expelled >I walk outside devastated.. but I see a pretty girl >l walk up "um hi im an.. >YOU DIDNT ANNOUNCE YOUR PRESENCE AND ASK CONSENT R--- R--- >She screams and campus security tackles me >I'm tried amongst the high courts (all women men aren't allowed to work in legal system) > "How does the defendant plea." >GUILTY." My lawyer screeches >fuckingwhat.jpeg Uh no I don't?" >The judge in a rage "ARE YOU MANSPLAINING TO HER >They send me immediately to a death camp where I'm given a number and given the choice of castration and emasculation or death >We are a lined up and marched into the gas chamber >I glance at the man to my side >"What are you in for dude?" >Did you just assume my gender?" >The gas nozzles flick on >Mfw

Top Image Galleries

Queen_never_cry_cover

Queen Never Cry

Wifejakcover

Wifejak

Socialcontractukthumb

The Social Contract

Chill-guy

My New Character / Chill Guy

7db9dae454c8e4acc4c70d2e0cfe4e5fe3d29d23r1-1200-641v2_hq

Furries / Furry

Cgi

Movies Without CGI

Gdao2paxiaa5aq3

Akakichi no Eleven Redraws

Know Your Meme

Like Page 1.8M likes

© 2007-2024 Literally Media Ltd. | Privacy