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>Be me >Playing second ever campaign with 3 other people (Dm 1 edgy elf rogue 1 dwarf druid) >I'm playing as a monk >Weaboo af >Some noble tells us to help a village in the mountains >Party goes "sure, why not" as we don't wanna f--- up DM's quest line >We arrive to the village and it's almost empty except for two orcs and a few scared (human) villagers Turns out a nearby orc tribe has kidnapped all the women and killed all the men >eeh...ok.gif >We arrive at orc camp, kill all the orcs Out steps the orc war boss, and at this point we're all at low HP >guesswe'lldie.jpeg War boss goes straight for edgy rogue (who is squishy af) >Is too far away for melee so decide to act quickly >Cut off the d--- of one of his fallen orc comrades and throws it at him DM says he'll allow it but it doesn't count as a ranged weapon (but i think "hey, at least it might aggro him on me instead of squishy rogue") >Whole party in suspense as i roll dice >NAT F------ 20 >Monk character reaches maximum enlightenment, discovers new monastic tradition: way of the thrown penis >The orc d--- lands directly in his mouth One last orc who was apparently on patrol walks in and sees his boss with a cut off d--- in his mouth >He is so ashamed of his boss, he helps us take him down >Slightly homophobic orc becomes new team-member (played by DM) >After this glorious victory we rescue the women Apparently the orcs were using them as breeding animals to get half-orc warriors to fight off a goblin invasion or some s--- >We were supposed to be shocked, but we were still laughing from my epic d----throw >That moment when DM tries his best to create a serious dark campaign and it's all ruined by an orc d--- and a weaboo monk

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Way of the Thrown Orc Shlong


Uploaded by Zander_Von_Solidarc Jan 05, 2018 at 12:37AM EST

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Anonymous ITT: Cooking buzzwords you hat(...) 1.4 MB WEBM 11/01/24(Fri)04:24:25 No.20946633 >comfort food All food is supposed to be comforting, there's no non-comfort food that's worth cooking. >soul food Its just basic American homemade dishes, but greasier and overcooked. >creamy Probably means it is tasteless without being buried in heavy whipping cream to mask the taste. >garlicky See above, just replace whipping cream with garlic. >fusion Oh wow, you added soy sauce to it, such fusion. Anonymous 11/01/24(Fri)04:39:15 No.20946637 >literal autistic retard triggered by everyday words and phrases thread no #43923948234 >>20946994 # >>20947280 #
BREAKING: Justin Trudeau to resign as Prime Minister of Canada It's Trudover... 466 KB PNG 01/05/25(Sun) 23:25:58 No.493452575 >Goes into office and Inherits a generous surplus from the conservative party >Squanders it all and ends up collecting more debt than all other PM combined >Lets food prices shoot through the roof, to the point Canadians are keeling over from scurvy (yes the pirate disease) >Exiles hobo towns and closes roads for a Taylor Swift concert >Doesnt do the same for a veterans parade >Allows swarms of jeets destroy the job market. >Provides incentives to jobs if they hire foreign jeets but not for Canadian citizens >Decides to throw all the blame on to his subordinates >They all resign and tell him to eat s--- >Does nothing and hides in his office for the holidays >Eventually rage quits after everyone calls for his resignation. Canacucks... I thought we had it bad.
Anonymous 37 KB JPG >be me 08/25/21(Wed)23:12:04 No.861801953 >22 and poor in college >deliver food for a restaurant for a few months >sometimes people order takeout but don't pick it up >if it happens late enough in my shift I get to take it home with me >always ate the best those nights since it was free >be me now, 35+ >started calling corporate restaurants and ordering takeout about a half hour before close >always spoof the caller ID to show up as my ex wife >been doing it for about 3 years >never pick it up >gives me a warm fuzzy feeling knowing i gave some young person a free meal and also my ex gets black listed from every restaurant in town
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Uploaded Jan 05, 2018 at 12:37AM EST

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Greentext Stories

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d&d, orc, monk, weeaboo, way of the thrown penis

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