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Greentext Stories - Image Gallery Page 10

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Deaffart

File: 1342889711888.ipg (41 KB, 447x425) □ Anonymous (ID: b2GUC90E) 05/17/14(Sat)13:24:46 No.546835062 ITT Deaf people problems >l learned farting makes a sound at 20 Was with gf (not my first one) >At dinner in a very nice place >Waiter asking me for my order and my a------ needs to flex >Waiter gives look of disgust and terror Itwaswet PNG >Gf signs me asking if I s--- myself >l have no clue what's going orn >my girlfriend had to explain to me with the waiter right there that F--- I just farted and that they make noise and that this particular one made everyone in the room stop talking >Mfw ive farted in front of everyone I know and nobody has ever said anything to me l excused myself to the bathroom and never talked to her again □ Anonymous (ID: Jw6J5EFe) 05/17/14(Sat)13:27:24 No.546835350 File: 1374 (47 KB, 321x374) this has got to be the greatest thing i ever read □ Anonymous (ID: qq9pYIE8) 05/17/14(Sat)13:28:33 No. 546835464、2>54683621722546836321 File: I (85 KB, 425x282)

Raw Cookie Dough

(1.52 MB, 2592x1944, IMG 20130407 165030 jpg) Anonymous (ID: 00bbGt10) 04/07/13(Sun)17:51:45 No.47 1001279 Replies: 471002008 >347 1004848 >>4710085 >see a bat of cookie dough in the fridge taste sample read on the cover saying "DO NOT EAT RAW COOKIE DOUGH' fuckthatshitjpg eat several spoonfuls of cookie dough s--- was so cash >middle of the night sleeping wake up due to a bad smell >my butt cheeks feel wet Popen covers there was liquid s--- seeping out of my a------ puddle of s--- on my bed rush to bathroom >sit on the toilet its like a volcano except for lava, its liquid s--- >could be w >liquid s--- replace by chuck s--- >stomach groans more the s--- gets harder and harder the stench was awful >my butt cheeks was slapping together so rapidly that my ass was bruised >stomach grumbles again >cant s--- in the toilet because there is not enough room s--- my f------ brains out hurts so bad i start to cry >crying while pushing out a colossal turd out of my a------ back is covered with poo falls on the floor ghost of Billy Mays's head peeps out of my a------ BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE s--- starts blasting out of a------ like two grizzley bears tearing my ass apart door is complete brown in s--- parents comes downstairs, hearing crying and moaning in the bathroom hear my dad say WHAT THE F--- IS THAT SMELL he notices s--- escaping from the bottom of the door ANON WHAT THE F--- ARE YOU DOING IN THERE" he busts down the door >he gets completely spray paint with s--- >mom vomits Never eating cookie dough again | Anonymous (ID: P600g/8D) 04/07/13(Sun)17:55:53 No.47 10020 10 Replies >>471002253 >)471002790 471004048 >want to play a trick on f----- son >spunk and put laxatives in cookie dough -thatll show the little c--- later that night >hear girly screams and loud blasts of s--- coming from downstairs >gotcha run >see s--- coming from bottom of door >blast through >sprayed with liquid s--- >son begins to cry like a girl >gently easy my rock solid penis into his freshly lubricated a------ Anonymous (ID: YodhOzeh) 04/07/13(Sun)18:04:02 No.471003621 Replies: 471094291 2471004646 471005575 >be container of raw cookie dough pexpecting to get baked into delicious cookies snobody will eat me until then, hell, it say right on my cover "DO NOT EAT RAW COOKIE DOUGH >fat f----- opens the fridge -ohhellno.png wav >decide to make the fat s--- pay for robbing me of my baked deliciousness group all the chunks up just inside his a------ >start off slow, seep out just enough to wake the n----- up >GO TIME push with all my might >fat f----- manages to make it to the toilet before I start exploding out his anus >but I ain't letting up here >slap the f------ butt cheeks together so hard his ass gets bruised >keep fill up whole toilet, f----- moves over to bathtub crying spush a massive chunk out to cause him unimaginable pain >decide to add insult to injury >vibrate his ass cheeks at just the right frequency so it sounds like Billy Mays yelling "BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE >f------ dad opens the door augh maniacally as I shoot the rest of me out as fast as I can, coating his dad and the rest of the walls in S--- >thatll teach that fat n----- to eat raw f------ cookie dough HEAR THAT, YOU FAT F---? YOU DONT F--- WITH RAW COOKIE DOUGH □ Anonymous (ID: OobbGI10) 04/07/1 3(Sun) 1 8:22:04 No.471007201 Replies >>47 1007905ー47 1 008205 >feeling quite lonely, nobody used me in a while >just chilling in the dark sall of a sudden, this fat f----- bursts into the bathroom sohno >f----- releases a Kamehameha blast of s--- in me -entire mouth is full of s--- pg riend bathtub staring at me in horror >f----- goes in the bathtub, releasing a Shadow of the Colossus turd f----- dad breaks into door, killing Mr door e gets covered in sh >feelsbadman jpg Anonymous (ID: oobbGt10) 04/07/13(Sun)18:39:01 No.471010834 >chilling with fork wife, s--- was so cash sall of a sudden, this fat f----- f--- opens the drawer and stole me >scared as f--- >jams me in Ms. Cookie Dough she felt good to be inside of >feel ashamed because I am married >kid about to jam me in his mouth >pleaseno.jpg he does it she does this several times sreturn with my wife sleeping with wife hear the fat f----- crying and moaning in the bathroom >serves that f----- right Anonymous (ID: Heaven) 04/07/13 (Sun)18:30:05 No.471008873 >be billy may's ghost >his face tells me he thinks its nearly over

Cat defeats Burglar

File: Cat and dog ong (167 KB, 296x300) Anonymous (ID: w7ikIM6K) 08/06/14(Wed)13:25:02 No.560918306 >Be living with myself and my two pets, a cat and a dog >Dog barks at everything and cat never gives a f--- about anything or anyone Be asleep Hear my dog barking notagain.jpeg >He shuts up after 30 seconds >l try to fall asleep again >After two minutes my dog start barking again like crazy >I go down to tell him to shut up >When I get down there is a freaking burglar on the bookshelf >Ski mask and all >On the floor lies a gun >Beneath bookshelf is my dog barking and jumping up after him >On the couch sits my cat looking like he found my tuna stash call the police >They arrest the guy > I give my dog a sausage for being a good guard dog >A couple of days later a guy calls from the station >During the interrogation the burglar admitted that he broke into my house, kicked my cat and lured my dog into a closet >My dog jumped him two minutes later >The burglar didn't know my dog can open doors >He can't >My cat being f--- everyone else-king of the house can though >Taught himself so he can come and go as he please >My cat must had become p----- and released my dog so he could attack the burglar >MFW my cat is a d--- >MFW I added animal cruelty to the charges

Good Student

File (hide): 1449001595616 aif (1.41 MB. 280x210, 43. EaanRvea Talking to women Anonymous (You) 1201/15 (Tue) 21:26:23 No.4861640 IWatch Thread Greentext because I am newfriend Sitting in hall waiting for class to start on my phone browsing /b/ traps thread Teacher exits cabinet on the other side of the hallway Asks Why is everyone on their phone, back in my day we used to talk, what apps are you using she didnt say apps but something old people say like "Websites am quieto autismo Someone next to me goes all proud "9gag I use all my intemal energy not to go full on autismos maximos on his retarded face for using 9gag Teacher comes closer, I lock my phone Asks me What are you using look down, realise behind that lock screen is a boypussy getting pounded say-Facebook" She goes Oh, what are you doing on facebook, don't you want to actually talk to people?" I stop my internal autist from yelling at her for being a dumb bitch and say like a civilized person I'm just looking at funny images, not even people" Teacher says it's weird how our generation is using all this time on their phones instead of outside 뇌 ust say it's a different solution to the same problem, our generation just has a wider reach for entertainment because we are so close connected to the world. I mean you would absolutely rather be watching unn images online at my age if you were sitting where I am, bored just waiting for my next class to start tart spilling spaghetti because I feel like just went full on autist, start sweating She says walks away l am proud of myself Fair point, go ahead did it ol talked to a female l look down, unlock my phone A dude f------ another dude up the ass while their ballisacks clap in union appear on my screen This is my life

Bane Wedding

Anonymous No.614737395 11 minutes ago >be shopping for smart shirt >being forced to go to a wedding, so i have to wear something i guess it is my parents wedding so i better go >see these women talking about buying a shirt for her boyfriend >she says to her friend 'dyou think this'lIl fit him?" her friend replies he's a big guy >i instantly blurt out 'FOR YOU i think my voice broke half way through they look at me as if i'm retarded and seem frightened look them in the eyes, wink a little, but think i did it with both eyes >scurry away and knock over a mannequin spilling suits everywhere so tell me, how has 4chin ruined your life

Banana Peel

File: 1370710900581.ipg-(82 KB, 600x874, a.aaa-Banana-Shark.jpg) Anonymous (ID: MYJQYP94) 06/08/13(Sat)13:01:40 No.485723075 Super beta stories. 'll go first >Be me, about 16 >Beta to the max >Have a hard time dealing with the ladies >Mostly spend my down time browsing p--- and fapping vs. a social life >Discover strange, yet pleasing ways to get my rocks off >Favorite way to fap is with banana peels >Will eat a banana, but peel it carefully so l can stick my d--- in it. >Masturbate vigorously into banana >feelsgoodman.jpg >Sometimes I'll use the same peel two or three times before throwing it away >Im a sick bastard, I know peel Fast forward a few weeks >Been fapping in banana peels a lot >Getting dat potassium like a mad f----- >Develop a dependency on fapping in banana peels >Masturbating with my fingerless gloves doesnt cut it anymore >Peel catches my load so it doesn't squirt all over my fedora. >Start calling my d--- "The Banana Shark" >Typically pretty quiet kid in my classes >Smart as s--- when it comes to Chemistry >Can name all the elements on the Periodic Table >F--- yeah. >Nice looking 8/10 knows I do well in Chemistry while she sucks d--- at it. >Pretty nice girl, not all prissy and stuck up like the other sluts >Actually talks to me >Asks if we can be lab partners >F------ all the yes >Begins to get friendlier with me >Flirting level 3 engaged >Decide to actually be alpha for once >After a few days of great chemistry in Chemistry, ask her to go to a movie with me >She says yes >> □ Anonymous (ID: MYJOYP94) 06/08/13(Sat)13:02:20 No.485723180 CONT... >Go to see Lucky Number Slevin. >She's into mob movies and wants to see it. >Theater is practically empty >We sit in the back row >Halfway through the >Not paying attention anymore >Her tongue is in my mouth. >Her hand is on The Banana Shark The spaghetti is out of my pockets on the floor >She asks if I have ever gotten head before >Allmynope >Unzips my pants to find a fully erect Banana Shark >Starts to suck my d--- >Two minutes irn "Anon, your d--- tastes weird." >Oh God, she can taste The Banana Shark s"It tastes like bananas. Do you stick your d >Beta me returns >"S-s-sometimes..." >Awkward as f--- >"OH GOD ANON, I'M ALLERGIC TO BANANAS" >Begins puking on my d--- OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK > She begins to have a seizure >Immediately call 911 movie, I notice she keeps looking at me d--- in bananas Anon?" MFW I cannot go back to that theater MFW I put a girl in the hospital with The Banana Shark MFW I havent had a b------ OR a date since Thanks a lot Banana Shark

Google Translate Pls

571642460 erect my penis gold (50 KB, 500x644) ■ AnonymousOD @isi) 10 01/14(Wed)17:00:38 No 571640928 >>571641037225716412202-5716412902-57164 1308-5716413612571641552 be finnish >45 year old movement teacher student are 12-13 they had tight cloth on today was after class the girl go into a shower >can see more nudism body her breast grow to the f--- little hair look has the trim erect my penis >"do you have ok she look out to me in wet shoulder hair >cover breast growth but can both nipple Anonymous (ID: Gszaan) 10/01/14(Wed)17:05:12 No.57164 1342 File (24 KB, 314x246) rip english 。Anonymous (ID AMARO) 10/01/14(Wed)17:14:08 №571642173x File: 1406257051691.png (56 KB, 429x287) 22571640928ー laughing for days and i dont know why turn to go into a shower 571640928 (0P Anonymous(D: EN) 10/014Wed 17:17. 15 No >"dont look the shower >"but your body can't say yes she run out to nudism hear she tell to the head master he invited me to the office of his > stop never again or you get a shoe T hat some amazing grammar skills OP 571640928 (0P 571640928 (0P 10/10、/b/ isn't dead I don't want a shoe for my money but what can stop the girl look time? I can see every day the girl when she into a shower and all had a body of good look to make resistence hard for penis every day I have tempetation resist, I can the future too but the head master can give me a shoe ifI look more to the girl shower pic unrelated but the girl body look like many time 571640928 (0P her breast grow to the f--- >57164 can see more nudism body her breast grow to the f--- erect my penis >"stop never again or you get a shoe Anonymous (ID: APURRzH9)10/01/14(Wed)17:06:50 No.571641496 How many times did you throw this into Google Translate? Lost it erect my penis My sides are in a different dimension 92571641972 can' stoplaughing at how him geting the boot tanslated to get a shoe >571640928 (OP My sides have ascended to another plane

Aya Stahk

Anonymous (D: Co79Y105/23/17(Tue)14:50:40 No.12672969712673015722126730161 22126733733 321267349572212673603 221267361602126736630 2126737315 22126737437 22126737503 File: brits.jpg (1.18 MB, 1399x1848) be on vacation in bongland >see Arya Stark gliding down the sidewalk >like a graceful penguin with gout follow her for a block gently touch her shoulder H-hello, I'm Anon. Y-you're the prettiest girl I've seen all day! W-would you join me for dinner? >she spins around nearly smashing me in the balls with an Abercrombie bag >stares intently for a few moments then breaks into a grin that looks like she could eat an apple through a chain link fence YEH ORLRITE! FAK IT, WHY NOT? I CUD DO WIV SOME FREE GRUB ANNA LITTLE OF THE OL IN OUT! quickly grab her hand and go into the first restaurant I see that has tablecloths FAKKIN ELL! POSH ERE INNIT? GLAD I PUT SUM KNICKERS ON! >she lets out a little giggle that sounds like a horse with it's leg caught in a wood chipper head waiter gives me the stinkeye but leads us to a table >Arya cocks her head and squints at the menu ERE NOW, WATS THIS S----? IT'S ORL IN FAKKIN FRENCH! OI CARNT READ THIS, I'LL END UP GETTIN A PLATE OF FAKKIN SNAILS WUNNOI?!? look at the menu. It's in English, just a fancy script she shoves her menu at the waiter I WONT PIE AND MASH DUNNOI. PLENTY OF LIKKER ON THA MASH, GUV! I'm sorry, madam, we don- 1 SED FAKKIN PIE AND MASH M8! AND A PINTA LARGER FOR ME EDACHE! >he slinks away without even taking my order >Arya pulls a pack of Mayfairs from her cleavage and sparks up, ashing in the bread basket >starts rubbing at her crotch >brings her fingers up and licks them then cackles JOLLY FAKKIN ELL, IT'S ME TIME! OI LUV GITTIN SHAGGED ONNA RAG! GUNNA AVE US A RED WEDDIN INNA LOO, AIN'T WE? >look over my shoulder and franticly signal the waiter for the check >Arya is slumped over the table r---- to death by Pakis

>live in Brazil

Anonymous (ID: +kjCKehh) 10/01/15(Thu)14:33:21 No.52856597 >Live in Brazil >there are no schools >there are no movie theaters >there are no malls >still get shot 39 KB JPG >>52856936 # >>52857008# >>52857059 # >>52857158 #

Primitive greentext

> 4000 BO > NOT DOING STARTING STICKS >BERRYPICKER AS F--- > ME FACIE TELL BONE SHAMAN I HAVE A CEREMONIAL BONE FOR HER TO CEREMONY >LAUGHING SHAMAN ROCKPEG >BERRIES BURST OUT OF LOINCLOTH

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