Forums / Discussion / Serious Debate

Failure isn't so bad. You can learn from failure. You can analyze what went wrong and attempt to improve on it. Failure can often be nothing more than another opportunity for success.
What makes failure different is when it's constant. When no matter how hard you try, no matter how many opportunities you have, no matter how much you analyze your shortcomings, nothing helps. Nothing will help you improve, and you're stuck with nothing but constant repeating failure over and over again.
What's even worse than that is when utterly everything you do, with no exaggeration, ends up being that kind of failure. When you are constantly doing the same thing, continuing the same meaningless cycle, clinging onto the vain hope that something will change at some point but it never does and likely never will. The naivety of believing you have improved at some point and finding out you get the same results. Everything from hobbies to education to employment is just failure after failure, again and again.
I'm 26. I'm terrible at every game I've played. I've never had a real job. I've failed my driving test at least 5 times. I have no mental capacity or patience for learning anything new and I have no noteworthy skills in anything I can think of.
Don't misunderstand me; I'm not pessimistic. I'm more of a realist. The reason I'm convinced I have no opportunity for success is because I have tried so hard to attain it to no avail. I'm so tired of it all. I'm tired of being tired. But what else am I supposed to do except just keep trying and cling onto false hope that I might succeed at something one day? I don't want to think like this but how can I not?

Mood man, mood.

I mean the good thing is that you can always try again I guess.

It's hard to gather where exactly you are from what you've said so far, but is it possible you've just been trying too hard?

Sometimes you can focus so much on doing well and trying hard that you end up stressing yourself out and burning out before you even start the task, or ending up in a downward spiral when you make a simple mistake and just hyper-focus on it until it seems like the end of the world.

At times, the best thing you can do is just take a deep breath and take a step back to think for a bit.

No matter what you do, do not panic.

You make mistakes when you panic, so if you feel things are starting to get too much, slow down, step back and take a break.

Once it's passed, and it will pass, get right back to it.

Don't worry about failing your driving test 5 times. It took me 13 tries to pass the driving test, but I did it.

I had to switch from driving a Manual car to an Automatic because, although I could drive a Manual car fairy easily, I couldn't pass the test in one because of just how strict the testers are in the UK, where one missed mirror check or gentle curb bump costs you the entire test.

And what do you mean by real job?

Any occupation you get paid for is a real job.

Sure, it may not seem like it if you work in a supermarket, fast food or as a cleaner, but these are still important jobs as someone has to do them and we've all worked shitty jobs once in our lives.

And it's these shitty jobs that'll help you get better ones.

Grades are utterly worthless compared to honest to god work experience. Working these jobs for a few years shows that you're willing to stick it out and proves to prospective employers that you've got a solid work ethic.

If you can't find a job, try and get in contact with one of the local job agencies. The work may be patchy at times, but at least it'll be there.

If there aren't any, get in touch with a charity and see if you can do some voluntary work. You won't get paid and the work may not be terribly exciting; but it's something you can whack on a CV and it'll look really good and make you stand out to prospective employers.

You say you feel you are no good at hobbies, but by whose standards are you holding your skill up too?

If you're holding your gaming skills up to e-sports players and streamers, then it comes as no surprise that you will find yourself falling short, as these are professionals who play their specific games for days and days on end.

What you should be asking yourself is, am I having fun?

Take me for example.

I am a fucking awful artist..

If you've been here long enough, you've probably seen some of my work.

Because I only have a laptop, I can't draw, so I have to copy and edit pre-made images and slap them together.

It's time-consuming, tedious and the end result is never exactly what I want.

But I still enjoy the challenge and I still have fun with it.

Does it match up to the likes of BaalBuddy or harayamanawari ?

Fuck no, but do you know what?

I don't give a shit.

I'm doing my best and I'm happy with what I've done.

It's not much, but it's living up to my own standards and that's what matters with hobbies.

There will always be someone better than you, but as long as you are doing your best, that's the only thing that counts.

And you will get better, it may only be slightly and it may only be noticeable with the passage of time, but you our getting better.

Take care of yourself mate, things will pick up, just you see.