Alright look, you've made several posts within the past few weeks stating your displeasure with how you life is going, where you feel you are at with this site, etc. There have been several people in these posts who have tried to give you reasonable advice on how to improve your situation.
But if this is where your head space is currently at then you need to actually do something if you want things to improve.
Clearly ranting here on the forums isn't helping. If you want to truly deal with these feeling then you need to actually talk with someone about these subjects. The best people to help you with these complicated feelings are your friends, family, or even a therapist not random people on the internet.
Sorry if this sounds harsh but you're 19, real life is just starting for you, and you're gonna have to deal with a lot of tough things that most of us have to face as we grow up and become "adults". The world isn't ending just because you don't know what to do next, we all feel like that at some point or another after high school. The internet isn't the only part of you life that should carry any meaning.
If you're truly unhappy with staying on this site then leave, and stop saying you will eventually do it. All in all i wish you the best, but don't keep bringing up your issues if you don't wish to do something about them.