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I've moved back and forth between Tokyo and the States, and even though I'm American I spent ages 3-8 (and 13) in Japan, and even went to a Japanese preschool. My question is, are any of the years from 3 to 8 special at all in one's childhood, especially from a standpoint of personality, behavioral, cultural, and/or social skills development?

The reason I ask is, well, despite being both American and having Aspberger's, I'm not only a poor fit for the stereotypes, but I feel "different" and I'm wondering if it had to do with growing up in Japan. Here's a few examples:

-I'm literally almost never angry, I tend to get depressed or anxious instead
-I'm very polite and formal, but am willing to be more "casual" if I feel like it will make people more comfortable.
-I prefer interpersonal harmony over making my point of view heard, most of the time.
-I subconsciously bow a tiny bit when saying hello or thank you (a college teacher pointed that out to me).
-I'm punctual and feel uncomfortable when people believe I'm acting inappropriately.
-I don't swear, but don't mind if others do.
-I prefer working in groups, and I was always tried to blend in instead of stand out.

Now, to be fair, I grew up in a Mormon household, which may account for some of this, but additional trials (aka my three younger siblings) who all spent less time growing up in Japan ultimately resulted in said siblings acquiring fewer of these qualities, despite being raised in the same Mormon household (although they are all beurotypical.)

I realize that there's a good chance that I'm just being a weeaboo using self-fufilling prophecies and stereotypes to try and explain away my insecurities, or something like that. So that's why I'm asking for a more educated (and hopefully, objective) opinion.

Could those 5 years actually result in me growing up statistically "more Japanese" or am I just looking for patterns that don't exist. If they, do, how significant would it be fair to say those 5 years be, in terms of relative impact on the development of the "Japanese-ness" I described? Like, could one say that those five years had barely any impact on my personality and social skills, or would I likely have been a totally different person if my parents acted the same, but I stayed in the U.S. and went to preschool and regular school there?

Sorry for such a narcissistic thread, but it's a question that's been on my mind for years.

scrambles aggressively to grab my psychology textbook I got the answer! Or this book does.

Now, psychology is a bit of a fragmented field, so I'll just give a few perspectives.

According to Piaget's Four Stages, the ages 2-7 are when children begin to represent the word with symbolic thinking, such as words and mental images. Ages 7-11 deal with logical thinking skills.

According to Erikson's Eight Stages, ages 3-5 experience more pressure to develop purposeful behavior and some level of responsibility. "Uncomfortable guilt feelings may arise, though, if the children are irresponsible and are made to feel too anxious." Also, at ages 6 through the beginning of puberty, "The danger at this stage involves feeling incompetent and unproductive."

From this, it could be supposed that that might have had an effect. The way you act makes me think, yeah, maybe it being there during those ages did affect you. However, I'm literally just reading from a general psychology textbook. If you want to be sure of it you should go see a psychologist or a psychiatrist.

I'm no psychologist, so take everything I take with a grain of salt.

But I'm in a similar boat as you (though I don't have Asperger's). I would say the only thing different in that small list you made between me and you is that I do swear (a lot actually) and I'm not a huge fan of working in groups. But I do bow a little while apologizing, and I do feel a bit uncomfortable if people think I'm acting out of line.

The thing is, I've always lived in the US. I lived in New York till I was 5, and then lived in California for another 15 years. However I'm part of a second generation Korean family, and you know how Asian people are with valuing respect above all else.

So honestly, I don't think your personality really has to do with those years you lived in Japan because there are people who have similar personality quirks but have never left the US. Like I said, I'm no expert, but personal experience means something right?

I have Asperger's although I never knew about it until I was six. I thought I was going to hogwarts, biggest disappointment of my life.

Although my friends would probably say that those years were when they started thinking differently and acting differently about things.

Thanks for the insight! I tried googling for the answer before, but I guess some answers are still better found in personal experience or non-leaked textbooks.
Um… not really sure what else to say. Bye?
But seriously, thanks a lot!