I think Particle Mare said everything that I could say, but I had to chime in anyway.
There is a difference between systematic oppression and prejudice mindsets leading to racist actions. But the definitions aren't meant to excuse either. They're simply different. So I don't think it's quite a matter of mincing words or using semantics to justify isolated instances of injustice.
Regarding OP's stance, I think it just depends on the background of who you're talking to.
If you talk to a sociologist, then recognize that their training and bent is to social forces. They honestly aren't nearly as interested in isolated instances of "reverse racism," because it can't be addressed or discussed through broader, systematic changes. That's what their expertise is in. You have to change a system to drastically reduce injustice.
If you talk to someone who has a very detail-oriented bent (I find that to be the case for many in STEM fields,) then they see what's right there in front of them. The most understandable explanation is the most direct one. That's how code, equations, and reactions work. Fix individual problems here and there, and you fixed everything.
So when you have egregious examples of individual, isolated injustices, your gender studies/sociologists/anthropologists aren't going to be as concerned. There's a system that affects many more beyond individuals.
And when you have something where people are wanting to do something remove the word "bossy" and the like from common use, your average Joe/STEM folks aren't going to be as concerned. They see a problem that's obvious right in front of them that's much more directly identified. Individuals just need to treat people fairly.
My degree is in sociology, so that's why I'm sympathetic to "systems of oppression". I find that both sides usually have awful debaters though, because they can't argue with both perspectives in mind.