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Transgenders

Last posted Mar 12, 2015 at 09:12PM EDT. Added Feb 10, 2015 at 08:17PM EST
56 posts from 21 users

I had my mind on this topic for awhile as i there are many i know on this site.
I've always been confused on this subject for my whole life and i want to get this discussuion off my chest, sorry if i offend as i am very misinformed on this subject:
I'd like to ask a few questions and start a discussio on transgenders. I've never quite understood this concept because the idea that people want to be another gender yet they still want to date the other or same gender. Why do you feel the need to be this way, why do you think your a girl, why do think everyone should know you feel this way, how doyou expect people to know that you feel way, do you go to the designated boy/ girl facilities, Ect. Again sorry if i offend as i really do not know about this subject.

It has actually been found that, in some cases of transsexuality, that there is a gene causing the inheritor to have qualities that are more commonly associated with the opposite gender.
However, this doesn't apply to all cases, and otherwise I'd assume that the person who is transexual might feel a stronger identification with or feel more suited towards the opposite sex.


I’ve never quite understood this concept because the idea that people want to be another gender yet they still want to date the other or same gender.

Gender and sexuality are not always constant. In other words, one's gender decisions don't necessarily have to correspond with their sexuality; I could feel a need to change my gender regardless of whom I date or love.

Last edited Feb 10, 2015 at 08:47PM EST

Well for starters, don't use the word "transgenders". I've always found it offensive and stupid. Trans is more of an adjective in my eyes. It's just as stupid as calling black people "blacks" (which people still do or vice versa for "whites") I think it's just a descriptor. It sounds just as silly in my eyes as calling old people "olds" as well.

So, transgender people are those whose gender does not fit with the body they were born with, so they often feel extremely uncomfortable and want to change how they look to match their head with their body. It's like having really, really bad body image issues. If you've ever felt ugly or fat when you looked at yourself in the mirror, it's like that feeling all the time except magnified and the hopelessness of it being way harder to fix than a normal body image problem. Another analogy I've heard to help cis people understand the mental pain is imagine you're forced to wear a shitty halloween costume everywhere you go and it's nearly impossible to take off. You can only attempt to hide it in some ways but it never really goes away and everyone identifies you with that shitty costume and not the real you.

As for why I feel this way and how I know, not really sure. You just know. Like why do you feel like you're a guy? If you were dumped into a woman's body would you still be a guy in your head or a woman just because your aesthetic changed? How would you know you're a guy? It's a pretty subconscious thing even the best psychologists have a hard time understanding right now. And I always say to those who think it's silly to just "decide" what your gender is despite what's in between your legs. In my eyes, saying that someone's identity is solely determined by whatever the fuck is in between your legs is much sillier. It's just that lucky for most people what they feel mostly matches up with the corresponding junk.

And could you clarify the dating thing in your post? Doesn't make much sense to me how you worded it. Sexuality has nothing to do with gender if that's what you're asking. There are gay, bi, straight, and pan trans people. The two are not connected in the slightest usually. If you have any more questions go ahead and ask. I don't mind if they're offensive or anything. I mostly don't blame people for being uneducated about this stuff mainly because a large part of it is society's fault for filling people's heads with misinformation and stereotypes. As long as an individual is willing to learn, I am willing to teach.

Gender and sexuality are really separate things.
thats why you can have homosexual males and females. sexuality is a DNA issue not a mental one.

Transgender is a mental thing where a person feels disconnected from their body because of its gender. Gender is actually a very complex thing.

All people start off as a female during development in a womb. hormonal influences from the womb ultimately decide gender. and these hormonal influences happen at generally pretty specific times so if one messes up, the fetus can develop issues later in life.

So someone can be transgender because they had some messed up hormonal influences in the womb.

there are probably tons of other reasons and influences that can cause a person to become transgender, so don't assume what I said is the 100% only explanation.

Typically once a person figured out they are transgender, its recommended to go to a therapist to confirm this, then get them to sign off saying that you are to "transition" from your current to your preferred gender. which can include dressing, behaving, and yes using their preferred gender's facilities. The therapist note can also give them access to hormonal treatments, and permission from employers to use the other gender's facilities at their work if need be.

Here's the thing- it's actually fairly "simple". Or, to be more accurate, simple to explain. But said simple explanation involves scientific concepts that could be studied for years and still not fully comprehend. In fact, for all the countless advancements that have been made in the last century or so, the biology/psychology/sociology communities still aren't even close to a full, clear picture.
But anyway, here's the gist:
Ignoring a minority with specific and often very serious genetic disorders, in human beings the nature of twenty-third chromosome pair determines an individual's sex. These are the allosomes, the only ones that are not "supposed" to always be the same length. Two moderately-sized X chromosomes indicates female, whereas one of those plus a very puny Y chromosome indicates male. Obviously, these are essential during fetal development- the fact that much of the code included in the latter doesn't activate until a few months after fertilization is the explanation for why "everyone starts out as a girl" which you may have heard before. All of this is pretty well understood.
What isn't well understood at all is how the brain identifies its gender gets wired in a seemingly strange and unexpected way. It's fair to say that variations in proportions of neurochemicals and hormones are the direct culprit, but why a random number of people would develop amounts of those molecules in their bodies that are so drastically different than what their sex chromosomes would normally indicate is very much a mystery. Genes are the easy answer, but mapping a trait like this is extremely difficult as it appears in a vast number of different varying degrees and forms.
In my opinion, we shouldn't throw out our scientific understanding of sex and gender because of this phenomenon. However, we should definitely treat those who are transsexual by whatever side they identify with, if only because
1. it's easy
and
2. to not do so is, for lack of a better term, being a dick.

Like why do you feel like you’re a guy?

To give a TL;DR of what everyone said:
>Sex is your junk
>Gender is your mind
>who you're attracted to doesn't have to do with either, a transgender person could be attracted to a bucket or a dog with no relation to the fact that they are transgender.

Trans is quite a complex topic. One question that pops up that is very hard to answer is whether or not one would date a transgender person, or whether or not dating a trans woman would make a man. Very complicated indeed.

If you want my opinion on that then yes i believe it does make you gay. Why? Because one has to understand the difference between sex and gender. Although they may identify as another gender their sex remains the same. Sexual attraction means you're attracted the sex not the gender. That's why its referred to a shomoSEXuality and heteroSEXuality.

Last edited Feb 11, 2015 at 12:34AM EST

Why do you feel the need to be this way

I do not believe it is a matter of why or need.

Transgender people don't just wake up one morning and decide they need to switch their gender for a discernible reason.

It simply happens to them. They get this nagging feeling 24/7 that they're in somebody else's body and they need to go back to their own. Like a burning itch

This feeling doesn't seem to have any reasonable logic attached. They can see they are a certain sex and always were one from the start. But the brain just naturally disagrees with that, regardless. I'm sure no transgendered person made an active choice to be another gender. And if they could feel comfortable with their current body, they would


I have some questions for the trangendered of my own.

  • When did you start feeling that you should be a different gender? Did you always feel this way? Or were you happily male for a while until this feeling of being female crept up on you?
  • Why does being transgender always come with horrible disdain for your body?

I mean I get that you feel like your body isn't your own and that's uncomfortable. But not only that, I hear many M-to-F trans say they utterly despise their male bodies and call yourself hideous! C'mon some of you are actually quite nice looking guys!

Some go into tragic tears over the fact they have a penis. As a male, I almost find that almost offensive when being male is considered so horrible. It ain't that bad, what gives?

  • Have you ever wondered if being transgendered is the product of society forcing you to choose between either "male" or "female" because those are the two gender roles our language enforces. But have you wondered if you are simply neither of those genders? (the one opposite of your sex fit your personality better though) And if society fully disconnected sex from gender roles, maybe you wouldn't need to say you are transgender?

Blue Screen (of Death) wrote:

Why do you feel the need to be this way

I do not believe it is a matter of why or need.

Transgender people don't just wake up one morning and decide they need to switch their gender for a discernible reason.

It simply happens to them. They get this nagging feeling 24/7 that they're in somebody else's body and they need to go back to their own. Like a burning itch

This feeling doesn't seem to have any reasonable logic attached. They can see they are a certain sex and always were one from the start. But the brain just naturally disagrees with that, regardless. I'm sure no transgendered person made an active choice to be another gender. And if they could feel comfortable with their current body, they would


I have some questions for the trangendered of my own.

  • When did you start feeling that you should be a different gender? Did you always feel this way? Or were you happily male for a while until this feeling of being female crept up on you?
  • Why does being transgender always come with horrible disdain for your body?

I mean I get that you feel like your body isn't your own and that's uncomfortable. But not only that, I hear many M-to-F trans say they utterly despise their male bodies and call yourself hideous! C'mon some of you are actually quite nice looking guys!

Some go into tragic tears over the fact they have a penis. As a male, I almost find that almost offensive when being male is considered so horrible. It ain't that bad, what gives?

  • Have you ever wondered if being transgendered is the product of society forcing you to choose between either "male" or "female" because those are the two gender roles our language enforces. But have you wondered if you are simply neither of those genders? (the one opposite of your sex fit your personality better though) And if society fully disconnected sex from gender roles, maybe you wouldn't need to say you are transgender?

Well personally I kinda flip flop on the whole gender thing now. but for me, It was kinda something there since I was a little kid, would often play games or imagine being a girl. but it wasn't till around my teen years, I guess when I was trying to figure out my identity that I really started wanting to be a girl. and from my research it seems a large number of transgenders seem to be that way.

I don't exactly hate my body, but I do have a large amount of general distaste for specific areas of it. my genitals mostly. though I am rather feminine to begin with so I guess for another TG who is more "masculine" but wants to be feminine it can be worse.

Its not really that I hate being male, but more that I hate myself for being male. Like having depression because you hate your own body, and you feel really just trapped.

I never really felt like I was being forced into a gender role, more that I just don't like my own gender. not so much being asked to act masculine but more just my own body.

There are a few that believe they are hermaphrodites, some just want to dress and look female but don't mind having male genitals, not really concrete genders and there are probably plenty of people who want to be somewhere on the spectrum of gender.
but that is just my personal experience, I know many others are very different so.

also if anyone is wondering why I used mostly male examples its because I am technically a male so when I was doing my research naturally I was searching for that and not the female side of it, though I'm sure there are some around this website.

Transgender people don’t just wake up one morning and decide they need to switch their gender for a discernible reason.

Genderfluid folks would like to have a discussion with you.

Blue Screen (of Death) wrote:

@Tomberry

Let me rephrase that

Transgender people don’t just wake up one morning and decide "Hey, I'm bored. I think I'll just start calling myself a different gender because LOL"

I'm sure that's most of the Tumblr community.

As a cissy, I find the best way to understand how it feels to be a transgendered person is to ask yourself this question: "What would it feel like if I were in the body of the opposite gender?" Just visualize a scenario in which you are the same person you are now in every way except your gender. It would feel really weird, right? It would mean inheriting all the privileges and prejudices of that gender, having all the societal norms of that gender pushed on you all the time. And no matter how long you inhabit that body and how many times people identify you as that gender, it just doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel like you. Everything else about you is just like you, but your body isn't.

Patrick Star 3D Real wrote:

I'm sure that's most of the Tumblr community.

Actually, not really.
There is a great debate on Tumblr between "truscums" or "true transgenders" and "transtrenders" or "gendfluid people who can switch genders on a whim" as some don't see any legitimacy in people switching genders everyday because, according to them, being trans should mean having a body dysphoria.

It all boils down to whether this is always the case or not.

You know, as a cis guy, I'm just acknowledging new "names" found every now and then in this "queer vacuum", if I may call it, but I think there is really a bit too many "names" (especially with the "demi" things) for what some of them are worth… It sometimes feels more like "I wanna be different so I have to find a word to describe my difference and have my own community even if I'm actually like that other word but more loosely!" than anything else.

Last edited Feb 12, 2015 at 12:41AM EST

Heh, looks like most of the above have covered things for me, and possibly better than I could.

Even so I'm always willing to explain certain stuff about this topic when asked, or go into personal details about myself. For example I initially didn't even think I was trans, I initially assumed I just enjoyed things like crossdressing and drag, but then gave deeper thought to realizing that it went well beyond that. Ever since I was young I always felt like I had certain… traits about me that felt more feminine. Believe it or not there was a point when a young me had the desire to one day become pregnant, and this was before I had an understanding of how pregnancy works.

Right now I'm very much pre-op. I still look more manly than I'd like, but I try to keep up some aspects of my appearance to look as feminine as I can (long shoulder length hair, shave a lot, stuff like that). As of now I'm flat chested and still sport a deek and bawls, basically a "chick with a dick." While not all trans people go through with things like hormone treatments or surgeries to alter their physical form to better match their mental image of themselves, I am someone who wishes to do that someday once the conditions are right. I'll eventually go on hormones, and then get surgery to do things like give myself a nice sized chest (my reference will be Hitomi Tanaka, a Japanese porn star with all natural j-cups) and yes the deek and bawls will be gone in time as well. As of now though this is just me thinking ahead, as I know I'm still a ways off from making this a reality, but I do look forward to the time when it's a reality.

@BSOD:

When did you start feeling that you should be a different gender? Did you always feel this way? Or were you happily male for a while until this feeling of being female crept up on you?

It's not like there wasn't early signs of it. Gender Bending was something I would play with since I was 3-4 years old, and something explored whenever I was presented the option to. Back then I lived in California and it was a taboo, so my parents discouraged it whenever they caught me doing it, but that's besides the point. (I live in Portland Oregon right now aaaand this is the most liberal city on the planet. I could announce it to my friends and family and they would go "Okay" and go back to what they where doing)

Even though I'm Genderfluid, I get a lot of the same feelings that trans do, however a bit less frequently in an awkward on-off cycle that I can't control. In my experiences, I knew for a very long time there was a disconnect between my body and my mind. But I wasn't "Living Happily as a Male" I was "Living Happily as Me." Male/Female association didn't really become an important part of me till my late teens, and with that came the realization that something was off about me.

TL;DR: The Disconnect usually comes before your Male/Female Association.

Why does being transgender always come with horrible disdain for your body?

This is likely a stereotype, but kinda needed for Trans in order to push for a transition. If they don't have this all that strongly, they will likely remain quiet and closeted for vast majority if not all their life until the taboo is lifted.

Last edited Feb 12, 2015 at 06:13PM EST

I too have a question.

What about referring to people. I know this probably varies from person to person but what about addressing people as male or female in a formal way? Because I know lots of people who are transgender don't like to be referred to by their sex, but what if they are at a doctors or something like that?

Spider-Byte wrote:

I too have a question.

What about referring to people. I know this probably varies from person to person but what about addressing people as male or female in a formal way? Because I know lots of people who are transgender don't like to be referred to by their sex, but what if they are at a doctors or something like that?

they are referred to as their preferred gender if they wish. Doctors would have to do it too. but doctors know what parts you have since you have to fill out a forum so not like it matters.

@Spider-byte

Yeah, what Basilius said. They'd still have to refer to you personally by gender but all the medical stuff would be by sex. Since I'm currently taking a statistics class this is something I've thought about a lot. Where do trans people go when splitting the surveys by male or female? I've always thought it depends on the situation. Like if the survey was on a preference or opinion, it would be separated by gender while a survey on biology or medical information would have to be split by sex (with surgery and hormones being a variable that could screw with results of course). When talking to or about someone personally always use gender though. It's just a matter of politeness.


Since some of the other trans memebers shared their experiences and feelings, I guess I'll share mine too. It started with a dream. Can't remember what happened in the dream, I just remember I was a girl in it. When I woke up and a few weeks afterward, I longed for that dream to be a reality. In the past I was always somewhat feminine, but that never had to do with the urge of wanting to be a woman. I felt pretty dirty and guilty about it like it was something weird. It even lead to me making an account of me posing as a woman online. This was a really stressful time in my life mainly because I felt guilty about it and was super confused. Some minor things like passing as a girl on the internet and using female characters in games helped vent my feelings and not let them consume me.

Strangely, the feelings just poofed away one day. I was pretty relieved and thought it was just a phase. That is, until it came back, and then left, and then back again. I was really confused. It was at this point when I realized it might actually have to do with being transgender which was never even a fleeting thought in my head before. So, I sought for help to figure out what I was. Where? On KYM of all places. I figured out I was something called genderfluid. This satisfied me deeply that I now knew what I was and it helped me come to terms with my identity. It was off and on for a few more months, but the female side was becoming stronger. I started having the urge to dress up and pass as female. Being a girl started sounding really good and being a guy became less and less appealing until the feeling of being a guy disappeared and hasn't come back since. I then realized I was a full-on lady and there was still some struggling afterwards, but overall I've really solidified who I am in the time since and learned to cope with the stress it brings.

As for my plans, at the moment I am indeed very interested indoing hormone therapy. It's something I can definitely see myself doing in the future. As for surgery, I really doubt I'll do sex reassignment mainly because to be honest my genitals don't bother me really. Most trans people despise their genitals but I don't mind them at all. I'd prefer them be different but there's no easy way to just poof them different. It takes a lot of money and suffering. If I end up being magically super rich I guess I'd do it but other than that for now, naw. The max I'd consider doing operation-wise might be some face-sculpting stuff down the road to hell me pass easier. I'm not certain about that however and it mainly depends on how well I pass to by my lonesome, which I don't know yet. As for what I've done so far, basically nothing. I shave everything and have a feminine, trap-like figure but that's about it so far. I've been practicing make-up lately though so wish me luck on that.


Damn that was a giant-ass wall. I'll give a medal to whoever reads it.

Slutty Sam wrote:

@Spider-byte

Yeah, what Basilius said. They'd still have to refer to you personally by gender but all the medical stuff would be by sex. Since I'm currently taking a statistics class this is something I've thought about a lot. Where do trans people go when splitting the surveys by male or female? I've always thought it depends on the situation. Like if the survey was on a preference or opinion, it would be separated by gender while a survey on biology or medical information would have to be split by sex (with surgery and hormones being a variable that could screw with results of course). When talking to or about someone personally always use gender though. It's just a matter of politeness.


Since some of the other trans memebers shared their experiences and feelings, I guess I'll share mine too. It started with a dream. Can't remember what happened in the dream, I just remember I was a girl in it. When I woke up and a few weeks afterward, I longed for that dream to be a reality. In the past I was always somewhat feminine, but that never had to do with the urge of wanting to be a woman. I felt pretty dirty and guilty about it like it was something weird. It even lead to me making an account of me posing as a woman online. This was a really stressful time in my life mainly because I felt guilty about it and was super confused. Some minor things like passing as a girl on the internet and using female characters in games helped vent my feelings and not let them consume me.

Strangely, the feelings just poofed away one day. I was pretty relieved and thought it was just a phase. That is, until it came back, and then left, and then back again. I was really confused. It was at this point when I realized it might actually have to do with being transgender which was never even a fleeting thought in my head before. So, I sought for help to figure out what I was. Where? On KYM of all places. I figured out I was something called genderfluid. This satisfied me deeply that I now knew what I was and it helped me come to terms with my identity. It was off and on for a few more months, but the female side was becoming stronger. I started having the urge to dress up and pass as female. Being a girl started sounding really good and being a guy became less and less appealing until the feeling of being a guy disappeared and hasn't come back since. I then realized I was a full-on lady and there was still some struggling afterwards, but overall I've really solidified who I am in the time since and learned to cope with the stress it brings.

As for my plans, at the moment I am indeed very interested indoing hormone therapy. It's something I can definitely see myself doing in the future. As for surgery, I really doubt I'll do sex reassignment mainly because to be honest my genitals don't bother me really. Most trans people despise their genitals but I don't mind them at all. I'd prefer them be different but there's no easy way to just poof them different. It takes a lot of money and suffering. If I end up being magically super rich I guess I'd do it but other than that for now, naw. The max I'd consider doing operation-wise might be some face-sculpting stuff down the road to hell me pass easier. I'm not certain about that however and it mainly depends on how well I pass to by my lonesome, which I don't know yet. As for what I've done so far, basically nothing. I shave everything and have a feminine, trap-like figure but that's about it so far. I've been practicing make-up lately though so wish me luck on that.


Damn that was a giant-ass wall. I'll give a medal to whoever reads it.

I'll PM you my address so you can ship off my shiny reward.

But anyway, one thing that I've become kind of curious about is how the fetish/BDSM practice of feminization fits into the picture of transgenderism. Could the preference towards this paraphilia and the transgender phenomena share the same root cause, albeit with differing degrees of severity? The problem is, despite decades of modern sexology, we actually know pathetically little about the origins of fetishes. In fact, the only thing one could say with absolute certainty at this point is that they need to be considered separately rather than as a whole.

Crimson Locks wrote:

As a cissy, I find the best way to understand how it feels to be a transgendered person is to ask yourself this question: "What would it feel like if I were in the body of the opposite gender?" Just visualize a scenario in which you are the same person you are now in every way except your gender. It would feel really weird, right? It would mean inheriting all the privileges and prejudices of that gender, having all the societal norms of that gender pushed on you all the time. And no matter how long you inhabit that body and how many times people identify you as that gender, it just doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel like you. Everything else about you is just like you, but your body isn't.

That scenario is broken, explain how I became a women out of the blue, did a magical fairy gave me tits? Was the powers that be done it? Was I born that way? I know your trying to make people feel transgenders feels, but this scenario ain't gonna work in a logical sense

Also what does gender fluid even mean

Last edited Feb 18, 2015 at 09:39AM EST

Mr.Stalker wrote:

That scenario is broken, explain how I became a women out of the blue, did a magical fairy gave me tits? Was the powers that be done it? Was I born that way? I know your trying to make people feel transgenders feels, but this scenario ain't gonna work in a logical sense

Also what does gender fluid even mean

When your gender fluid, sometimes you're a woman… or a man. Or both. Or something in between. Or nothing it all!

One genderfluid person has said something to the effect of:'I don't like being genderfluid because the only way I could be happy with myself is if I had the ability to shapeshift.".

And for some, that sums it up pretty nicely…

Of course, not everyone trans person is unhappy in their body, so emphasis on "some".

Last edited Feb 18, 2015 at 10:06AM EST

Patrick Star 3D Real wrote:

I'm sure that's most of the Tumblr community.

Actually, most of Tumblr is against that sort of thing.

Anyway, there is nothing wrong with being trans/fluid because it's natural. Just like your sexuality, it isn't a choice, and right-wingers who think it is and it's "wrong" should give their fucking heads a collective shake.

Ok I'm gonna be that guy, I'm sorry if my post is offensive and I sound like a ignorant asshole or whatever you want to call me, but I'm not sure if I could agree with the whole gender thing.

There is "Sex" which is male, female and in some very rare cases both, then there is "sexual preferences" if I'm not mistaken there is 4: heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual and asexual.

At this point everything is fine but when gender and all his subterms gets introduced it becomes confusing as hell, to south park levels of silliness, they often make fun of things by over-exaggerating them but this time is pretty accurate.

Should a transexual male use the girl bathroom and vice versa? what about legal papers? what about dating? what about sports? what about people who are in the middle with a brain half male half woman? etc.

Last edited Feb 18, 2015 at 01:09PM EST

Rikkhan wrote:

Ok I'm gonna be that guy, I'm sorry if my post is offensive and I sound like a ignorant asshole or whatever you want to call me, but I'm not sure if I could agree with the whole gender thing.

There is "Sex" which is male, female and in some very rare cases both, then there is "sexual preferences" if I'm not mistaken there is 4: heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual and asexual.

At this point everything is fine but when gender and all his subterms gets introduced it becomes confusing as hell, to south park levels of silliness, they often make fun of things by over-exaggerating them but this time is pretty accurate.

Should a transexual male use the girl bathroom and vice versa? what about legal papers? what about dating? what about sports? what about people who are in the middle with a brain half male half woman? etc.

I agree far to many special terms for people, though I feel its mostly Tumblrists spreading them.

Sexual preference is not those concrete things, its a spectrum, one of the reasons I hate those terms but what ever, you can see an example of this in the General forums with the sexuality thread, lots of people saying "Straight" but then making an exception for Futa, or something else. Those terms I think people just use to describe their most preferred sexual partner, but still dumb to me.

Gender is a bit more concrete than sexuality, but still a spectrum.

To answer your questions in order.
1. Yes they use their preferred gender bathroom
2. If a doctor diagnoses them as trans, then they are legally allowed to change genders and thus cannot be punished for say using the other gender's bathroom.
3. You date who you want, sexual preference and gender are separate things.
4. probably some rulings here about this. not sure I don't like sports so I couldn't tell you.
5. hermaphrodite? or gender fluid I suppose.

I dont see how it is a spectrum, I believe things like hentai are more like fantasies and thus are a fetichism rather than a sexual preference.

The problem is that this situation makes tons of legal vacuums in which people pretending or being transgender can exploit. For example a big and muscular dude being allowed to compete in an profesional boxing championship for women or people suing companies because they refused to let her use the bathroom.

About dating well like tripleA said it could lead to a lot of confusion and awkward moments. (suddenly prof. Oak phrase makes a lot sense).

Last one was based on what some people said that a transexual male has a male body but a female brain, then there should be possible that someone had a half male half female brain, which would be both genders at the same time. No offense but I think genderfluid is just silly.

Rikkhan wrote:

I dont see how it is a spectrum, I believe things like hentai are more like fantasies and thus are a fetichism rather than a sexual preference.

The problem is that this situation makes tons of legal vacuums in which people pretending or being transgender can exploit. For example a big and muscular dude being allowed to compete in an profesional boxing championship for women or people suing companies because they refused to let her use the bathroom.

About dating well like tripleA said it could lead to a lot of confusion and awkward moments. (suddenly prof. Oak phrase makes a lot sense).

Last one was based on what some people said that a transexual male has a male body but a female brain, then there should be possible that someone had a half male half female brain, which would be both genders at the same time. No offense but I think genderfluid is just silly.

Gender is a spectrum like sexuality because a person might be completely happy just looking female with male genitals, or look male and have female genitals, there are a lot of in between areas when it comes to gender. not just genitals.

you have to get a referral from a trained specialist in order to change your gender legally. They will be able to tell pretty easily if you are lying or not. As I said, there are probably Plenty of rules and regulations for sports that allow or disallow transgenders. Its considered sexual discrimination in many states to refuse to allow a person who is transgender to use their preferred gender. And as I said, All this requires A transgender person to go to a specially trained person and get a note. Otherwise its basically just them asking to be called their preferred gender and has no legal backing.

Most Transgenders will tell you if they are transgender before you get serious with them. and yea it could lead to some big problems especially pre-op. but its something they deal with.

both genders at the same time = hermaphrodite, both male and female genitals.

@Rikkhan

First of all, you're using "transsexual male" wrong. When you say that I think you're talking about men in women's bodies who take testosterone and get a penis surgically added and shit. When labeling someone as "trans x" it's always by how they identify out of politeness and so it doesn't become confusing.

So, to answer your last question about people with both at the same time, that would be called agender, which technically means "no gender", but the feelings these people have are just that they don't know which of the two they are. It's a very real condition as well as being genderfluid. Acting like gender is some black and white thing is just as silly as acting like sexuality is that way as well. Saying genderfluid people don't exist is just as close-minded in my eyes as saying bi people don't exist (which believe it or not many people believe). Sure there are way too many terms out there for the same thing or nothing at all, but being agender and genderfluid are pretty legitimate and I've experienced feelings of both while going through my questioning phase as I mentioned above.

As for the thing with laws catering to trans people, I kind of agree a line is to be drawn somewhere. The government in my eyes should make it easier for trans people to use their preferred bathroom and have their name and gender correct on legal documents, but sports are a more confusing topic. Personally, unless they started hormone stuff before or early in puberty, trans people shouldn't be allowed to do the sport of their preferred gender up to a certain age. While they're young and still in school, to be honest who cares at that age. Like I said, puberty hasn't really set in so their physical prowess is probably no different based on sex. The legal stuff is pretty confusing though and that's why it's an ongoing debate.


@Stalker

It's not supposed to be realistic. It's just a hypothetical example to get you to step into someone else's shoes. When are hypothetical examples ever plausible.


@Triple

This is kinda late, but Rikkhan covered it too so I guess I should say something about it. It really depends on the trans person you are interested in. If the trans person is only half-transitioned or poorly transitioned, then it would mean you're not entirely straight. However, if a trans person was transitioned flawlessly and has the matching genitals and everything and you could only tell they used to be the different if they told you, then it becomes more an issue of open-mindedness in my eyes. It's like when someone gives you some mystery food and you love it but then they tell you it's whale spleen or something and you feel nauseated. Now, this doesn't mean you're obligated to date or sleep with trans people who pass well or make an effort to open your mind to it. It's just the way I believe it is. And the way you wrote this makes sexuality seem so simple when it's not. It sounds like you're trying to label everything conveniently as straight or gay or bi. If a "straight" guy was attracted to women with dicks but not men, that doesn't make them gay really. It makes them something else. This is why the term pansexual exists, to make up for this gray area.


@.9999

This is pretty weird. Like I've said in the survey thread, I feel kinda obligated to be sexual towards men just because of my gender. I feel like I should be submissive and shit and sometimes I imagine myself with a guy, but I'm pretty averted to guys sexually and romantically and would never really sleep with one. Even hugging guys makes me slightly uncomfortable. Fetishes are a really weird gray area that as you said still doesn't make much sense to even professionals. I have no clue why someone would be a guy but have fantasies of being dominated as a woman. People are weird. We'll probably never fully understand ourselves.

So Sam, you're saying that…

I certainly hope that's not the case. The problem is that, as this "controversial" article points out, psychology involve a whole lot of plain fucking guessing, as organizing solid studies in that field involving a large enough sample size and removal of confounding variables is extremely difficult. Even if you can manage, truly empirical data is rare to find- normally, there's a whole lot of subjective interpretation involved.

Question: Have you ever felt you're too smart for the gender you're supposed to belonging to, before you learned the other gender can be as stupid as well?
Because that's how I have felt for a long time. Watching my dumb male classmates and the dumb husband of my mother (the tree I'm the apple of is still waiting to be cutted up by me, myself and I) and thinking "Am I one of those morons? NO WAY!". But I also didn't want to become gay because I had risked to fall in love with one of them, and that was even more disgusting.
Thankfully, while growing up, I learned women don't belong to a magic, sacred overintelligent gender (Yeah! I was stupid enough to think that. Proof that I was a still a penisholder) and they can be dumb too, regardless of their hair color, and that having a balls and a penis doesn't mean you can't have a functional brain as well. But in the meanwhile I have became a furry with several fetishes. Iguess when my hormones started to kick in my brain elaborated a solution to not be like the other dumb vanilla males. And this is the result.
I often wonder if trans people have been passing through similar paths, just feeling unconfortable for the gender roles the society has enstabilished for the gender they belong, and trying to adapt their appearance to their personality to better fit in a distrupeted world made of teenagish sterotypes that are being taken more seriously than they should.

Hypercat-Z wrote:

Question: Have you ever felt you're too smart for the gender you're supposed to belonging to, before you learned the other gender can be as stupid as well?
Because that's how I have felt for a long time. Watching my dumb male classmates and the dumb husband of my mother (the tree I'm the apple of is still waiting to be cutted up by me, myself and I) and thinking "Am I one of those morons? NO WAY!". But I also didn't want to become gay because I had risked to fall in love with one of them, and that was even more disgusting.
Thankfully, while growing up, I learned women don't belong to a magic, sacred overintelligent gender (Yeah! I was stupid enough to think that. Proof that I was a still a penisholder) and they can be dumb too, regardless of their hair color, and that having a balls and a penis doesn't mean you can't have a functional brain as well. But in the meanwhile I have became a furry with several fetishes. Iguess when my hormones started to kick in my brain elaborated a solution to not be like the other dumb vanilla males. And this is the result.
I often wonder if trans people have been passing through similar paths, just feeling unconfortable for the gender roles the society has enstabilished for the gender they belong, and trying to adapt their appearance to their personality to better fit in a distrupeted world made of teenagish sterotypes that are being taken more seriously than they should.

Never felt any gender was stupider than the other.
Thought they were both stupid.

though maybe that is an outward expression of an inner feeling.
hate being one gender gender and thus find everything they that has to with said gender annoying.

@Sam

I'm sorry I didn't realize that you identify as genderfluid, I'm trying to be open minded but its just like hiting a wall. I did some research and I became more confused so I just give up on this topic. At end of the line I think everyone can believe whatever they want and do whatever they want unless they are hurting someone else.

Rikkhan wrote:

@Sam

I'm sorry I didn't realize that you identify as genderfluid, I'm trying to be open minded but its just like hiting a wall. I did some research and I became more confused so I just give up on this topic. At end of the line I think everyone can believe whatever they want and do whatever they want unless they are hurting someone else.

Awwww thanks! That's a good attitude to have. I'm not fluid though, it's just that I was at one point so I can sympathize with permanently genderfluid people and I know their feelings are legit because I've experienced them first-hand. Now I'm full trans.


@Hypercat

Yeah, what Basilius said, both genders are full of dumb-asses. Humanity dude.

Slutty Sam wrote:

Awwww thanks! That's a good attitude to have. I'm not fluid though, it's just that I was at one point so I can sympathize with permanently genderfluid people and I know their feelings are legit because I've experienced them first-hand. Now I'm full trans.


@Hypercat

Yeah, what Basilius said, both genders are full of dumb-asses. Humanity dude.

Yeah! But, you know. When you are in that age where you have few contact with the other gender, you see only what they are acting, not what they really are.
Even my actual fiancee was annoyed by the other samples of her own gender (Did you know? The vantage of befriending a girl is you get to know how girls really are).

This post has been hidden due to low karma.
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ill just add my 2cents.

i don't hate transgenders. because hating someone just for what he is is retarded.

but i completely disagree with their mentality.

if you are born in a way you don't like. you must learn to deal with it. there are no magic surgery tricks to make your inborn problems disappear. (save for a few minor problems i dont know about)

changing your gender with a surgery damages your body horribly, as far as i know. and prevents you from reproducing.

the whole "male trapped in female body" thing, to me, no offence, is really dumb. there is no male mentality or female mentality. you are, how you are, you like pink shirts and watch my little pony? that doesn't mean you are a female in a male's body. it just means you are someone who likes these certain things.

i like blue pants and kill people online not because im a man, but because i enjoy it. has nothing to do with masculinity or femininity.

with all honesty, it can only get sillier from here. next we will have white people beliving they are black people trapped in white bodies.
Europeans belving they are trapped in asian bodies.

you are, just who you are. and you need to accept that, not change yourself in irretrievable manner.

your gender only comes into play when you want to have sex.

Last edited Mar 10, 2015 at 06:47AM EDT
if you are born in a way you don’t like. you must learn to deal with it. there are no magic surgery tricks to make your inborn problems disappear. (save for a few minor problems i dont know about)

You don't know what body dysphoria is, do you?
No offense as well, but what you said is like telling to someone with depression "hey, cheer up! Stop being down all the time!". Not a very constructive attitude, but you are jolly jew, so I wasn't expecting much out of you.

Tomberry wrote:

if you are born in a way you don’t like. you must learn to deal with it. there are no magic surgery tricks to make your inborn problems disappear. (save for a few minor problems i dont know about)

You don't know what body dysphoria is, do you?
No offense as well, but what you said is like telling to someone with depression "hey, cheer up! Stop being down all the time!". Not a very constructive attitude, but you are jolly jew, so I wasn't expecting much out of you.

no, i don't know what body disphoria is, i would like you to tell about it rather than slandering me.

FYI, i did i have depression for quite a few years. and as far as i know no surgery can help dealing with it. and the medication only slightly change your mood.
still to this day i have some things i hate about myself, but i never considered body-altering surgery to be the solution.
i managed to recover from the depression without said surgery or meds, so you really need to explain why im wrong.

Jolly Jew wrote:

no, i don't know what body disphoria is, i would like you to tell about it rather than slandering me.

FYI, i did i have depression for quite a few years. and as far as i know no surgery can help dealing with it. and the medication only slightly change your mood.
still to this day i have some things i hate about myself, but i never considered body-altering surgery to be the solution.
i managed to recover from the depression without said surgery or meds, so you really need to explain why im wrong.

Some treatments are more effective on others. Some anti-depressants can make some people feel worse and others feel really good.

Try an argument that's not "This works this way for me, so it works this way for everyone."

Spider-Byte wrote:

Some treatments are more effective on others. Some anti-depressants can make some people feel worse and others feel really good.

Try an argument that's not "This works this way for me, so it works this way for everyone."

no treatment can cure depression. they can only change its intensity and ease on some of the symptoms.
a person cannot recover from depression relying on medication alone.

Jolly Jew wrote:

no treatment can cure depression. they can only change its intensity and ease on some of the symptoms.
a person cannot recover from depression relying on medication alone.

Did I ever claim that? Did anyone here ever claim that?

Jolly Jew wrote:

no, i don't know what body disphoria is, i would like you to tell about it rather than slandering me.

FYI, i did i have depression for quite a few years. and as far as i know no surgery can help dealing with it. and the medication only slightly change your mood.
still to this day i have some things i hate about myself, but i never considered body-altering surgery to be the solution.
i managed to recover from the depression without said surgery or meds, so you really need to explain why im wrong.

What Tomberry probably meant was Gender Disphoria, which is the diagnosis used to describe people who experience significant discontent with the sex and gender they were assigned at birth. Which is basically transgender, which is basically what this entire thread has been about.

Both take like 1 minute to Google. Show some effort.

The cause differs by person, it can be mental or biological, but it's a condition in the end. Like your depression. And like that it isn't exactly curable.

You admit to have no idea what it means, let alone what it does or what causes it. Yet at the same time you have quite the heavy opinion on it.

Don't judge stuff you know jack shit about. Inform yourself before judging others.

Last edited Mar 10, 2015 at 10:58AM EDT

Old Man GigaChad wrote:

with all honesty, it can only get sillier from here. next we will have white people beliving they are black people trapped in white bodies.
Europeans belving they are trapped in asian bodies.

And if we let two people of the same gender get married then pretty soon people will be marrying cats and body pillows!

NOTE:

If you gonna play the fallacy game make sure your not commuting a Fallacy Fallacy.

Edit: actually seeing his post he did commit the sloppy slope fallacy but remember just becuase he commited a fallacy doesn't make it wrong

Last edited Mar 10, 2015 at 11:14AM EDT

RandomMan wrote:

What Tomberry probably meant was Gender Disphoria, which is the diagnosis used to describe people who experience significant discontent with the sex and gender they were assigned at birth. Which is basically transgender, which is basically what this entire thread has been about.

Both take like 1 minute to Google. Show some effort.

The cause differs by person, it can be mental or biological, but it's a condition in the end. Like your depression. And like that it isn't exactly curable.

You admit to have no idea what it means, let alone what it does or what causes it. Yet at the same time you have quite the heavy opinion on it.

Don't judge stuff you know jack shit about. Inform yourself before judging others.

Pretty much this.
It was Gender Dysphoria, yeah. my bad. I also saw "Body Dysphoria" on tumblr, that's why.

RandomMan wrote:

What Tomberry probably meant was Gender Disphoria, which is the diagnosis used to describe people who experience significant discontent with the sex and gender they were assigned at birth. Which is basically transgender, which is basically what this entire thread has been about.

Both take like 1 minute to Google. Show some effort.

The cause differs by person, it can be mental or biological, but it's a condition in the end. Like your depression. And like that it isn't exactly curable.

You admit to have no idea what it means, let alone what it does or what causes it. Yet at the same time you have quite the heavy opinion on it.

Don't judge stuff you know jack shit about. Inform yourself before judging others.

well, im sorry, but reading about gender dysphoria didn't change my opinion about the surgereys.

from what i understand its a psychological condition much like depression.
and much like depression, it can also be treated with psychologic consultation and change of life style.

unless they are for saving lives. im generally against any irrevseable body altering surgeries, especially those that damage you, and makes you infertile.

Jolly Jew wrote:

well, im sorry, but reading about gender dysphoria didn't change my opinion about the surgereys.

from what i understand its a psychological condition much like depression.
and much like depression, it can also be treated with psychologic consultation and change of life style.

unless they are for saving lives. im generally against any irrevseable body altering surgeries, especially those that damage you, and makes you infertile.

Meh! Infertility is the least problem of humanity!

Jolly Jew wrote:

well, im sorry, but reading about gender dysphoria didn't change my opinion about the surgereys.

from what i understand its a psychological condition much like depression.
and much like depression, it can also be treated with psychologic consultation and change of life style.

unless they are for saving lives. im generally against any irrevseable body altering surgeries, especially those that damage you, and makes you infertile.

Body disphoria and changing one's sex through surgery are very closely linked, but different topics in the end. You basically say you're against plastic surgery in general here, not necessarily gender disphoria.

Disphoria, to my knowledge, can be threated to both try to hold it back and to support it. Surgery is one way to support it, but we already went over that and your opinion seems pretty solid there, so we'll ignore that solution for now.

Various people with gender disphoria take hormones, to make their body adapt more to the gender they wish to have. This can be seen as medication, it helps the person, and isn't surgical, so this method might be something you can accept easier. Then there's of course crossdressing, which is quite common. If you want to get even more mild, many also just try to shape their body more masculim/feminim through a diet and workouts.

From what I see, Jolly Jew, your opinion on Gender Disphoria seems to be based on the thought that they always want a surgical sex change. This is quite untrue, and only a small group actually goes down that route. Surgery is a big change, and it's stupid to assume they don't realise that. Broaden your mindset.

Last edited Mar 11, 2015 at 10:46AM EDT

Jolly Jew wrote:

well, im sorry, but reading about gender dysphoria didn't change my opinion about the surgereys.

from what i understand its a psychological condition much like depression.
and much like depression, it can also be treated with psychologic consultation and change of life style.

unless they are for saving lives. im generally against any irrevseable body altering surgeries, especially those that damage you, and makes you infertile.

Does that mean you're against systemic circumcision too?

Skeletor-sm

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