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Oohaaahh!!

Last posted Jun 24, 2019 at 02:08AM EDT. Added Jun 20, 2019 at 01:50PM EDT
3 posts from 3 users

In rap, people are constantly debating who the GOAT is. Let’s end this debate once and for all. It’s Jake Paul. There has never been a better rapper and there never will be a better rapper. An artist like Jake Paul only comes around once in a lifetime. Here are some reasons why: 1. He created an iconic dance move. Remember the Jake Paul dance? It was a groundbreaking cultural phenomenon that completely changed the universe as we know it. Everyone was doing it. White dads, The President, The Pope, and even Jesus. Unprecedented. 2. His lyrics are deep and poetic. In It's Every Day Bro, he says “it's selling like a god, church.” I looked up “God Church” on Urban Dictionary. The definition: “To be honest…. I dont fucking know. I think some stupid YouTube star named Logan or Jake Paul made a song with it in the lyrics?” I DARE you to tell me that that isn’t some of the most beautiful lyricism of all time. John Lennon can kiss my ass. 3. He had dozens of hits. Think about all the classic songs that Jake Paul gave us over these past few decades. It's Everyday Bro, Logang Sucks, Big Poppa, Lose Yourself, Hotel California, Stairway To Heaven, Smells Like Teen Spirit, Bohemian Rhapsody, Ambitionz az a Ridah. And that’s just last year. The list goes on and on. 4. He was the political voice of a generation. Who could forget Jake Paul’s powerful anthems protesting the Vietnam War? Or his scathing criticism of Reaganomics. Or his beautiful musical tribute to all the firefighters we lost during the events of 9/11. His sociological influence redefined celebrity activism as he actively shaped society as we know it. 5. He didn’t get murdered like a total pussy (like Biggy or Toopac). What do Toopac and Biggy Small have in common? Well, other than being two of the most hacky, mediocre rappers in history, they also both got shot and died like losers. Pathetic. 6. He killed Osama Bin Laden. The world was in awe back in 2011 when Jake went on a rogue solo mission, tracking down Bin Laden, raiding his crib, and shooting him dead like a dog in the street. In the end, terrorism never wins. 7. He cured cancer. Remember cancer? It was a disease that took billions and billions of lives, until 2014 when Jake Paul singlehandedly discovered the cure. Think of all the lives he’s saved. Incredible..

Skeletor-sm

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