Hey, boys and girls! You want to hear some pretentious unoriginal poetry several days before Smesh comes out? No? Screw you, here you go! (Illumination, hire me for Grinch 2 and the Shrek movie.)
Every person down in the internet liked Christmas a lot,
But the Grinch, who lived in some foul-smelling cave on top of a mountain did not.
The Grinch hated Christmas! He was a fanboy of Halloween however,
Why he hated Christmas, no one knew whatsoever.
It could be because jury duty is always hounding his ass
It could be because he prefers summer to have a full lawn of grass
But the best likely reason of all
Was that he never gotten the chance to play some classical Wii Brawl
He stood there on one cold November day, hating the Who's and the internet
Staring down with a vile filthy frown
At the news of the new Smash going around
For who he knew every Who in the internet beneath
To which he wanted to spit at them with some of his false teeth
"And they are hoping for their favorite characters!" he said with a sneer
"It's practically coming out before Christmas, I need a freaking beer!"
Then he groaned, using an onion to scratch his armpit
"I must ruin Christmas, but I cannot steal it!"
"Why, for sixty-one years I've put up with it now!"
"I must ruin Smash for everyone! But how?"
Then he got an idea. An awful idea
He gotten a terrible, awful, wretched, vile, horrid bastard of an idea!
"I know what just to do!" The Grinch laughed in his throat
As he started to make a disguise to wear with a dirty coat
Somewhere at Bandai Namco
The Grinch had send fake intel to make it seem he was at Universal Studios Orlando
Getting out some fake side box-art
The Grinch took some photos and put them on Snapchat as a start
Shadow the Hedgehog, Banjo-Kazooie and Geno, too
The Grinch made sure his photos were all there on the internet to view
He returned to his cave, feeling smug
His body hair felt more slimy like a diseased little slug
"Now to watch the fireworks unfold." The Grinch said, heading to his computer
"After this, I shall either post drawn lewds or go to Tinder to find a perfect suitor."
On the day of the leaks of the fake Smash roster
The only thing that wasn't on everyone's minds was getting the Black Friday defroster
You could say it's better than having everyone's gifts stolen
However, if that happen in this day of age, someone is bound to get stabbed in the colon
Several days afterwards, the Grinch heard footsteps outside of his cave
To where the Grinch got out a lighter and some flammable aftershave
Thinking it was some salesman selling some tickets to Regal
To his shock, he saw Masahiro Sakurai pointing a Desert Eagle
Saying in Japanese, "Mr Grinch, why did you release fake leaks about my game?"
The Grinch stood nervously where he was forced to exclaim,
"I simply wanted Waluigi to be a character."
"But since that didn't happen, I ought to make everyone hysterical."
Getting the butt of a gun into his face
The Grinch was scrawled on the snow, where his eyes got a supply of freshly-made mace
Later that day, The Grinch was dragged to Nintendo forced to apologize with one task being to pay for a duck.
The Grinch couldn't help but matter with a tracker on his knee, "Well, fuck."