It was June the third, at exactly 11:00 PM.
I had just came back from the very tip of the Kuiper Belt, after spending a few Rare Pepes on some space weed.
I was about as high as a kite, boredly poking about KYM, checking my wall, mindlessly reading the latest RR thread and all that good stuff when suddenly I decided that heyyyyy, how about I fuck with RandomMan?
So I did.
I PMed him.
The subject was a single letter.
Then I PMed him again.
The subject was also a single letter, but a different one then before.
I PMed him five more times, then stopped to admire my work.
On my screen, it said
A
Y
Y
L
M
A
O
My masterpiece was complete. But little did I know, the wasn't the ONLY masterpiece I'd be making!
The next morning (this one), it was business as usual. I poked about KYM, checked my wall, mindlessly reading the latest RR threads when suddenly heyyyyy, I got a reply from RandomMan!
The message read:
"What have you been smoking and where can I get some?"
So I courteously replied:
"Only the most high quality and potent space weed on this side of the Galaxy. Travel to the very end of the Kuiper Belt, there you will see a floating liquor store, behind it, you’ll find a small trench-coated Cthulu that some may describe as “suspicious”. Ask him about his “goods”, and he will present you his prized celestial marijuana. However, it is very overpriced, so try to haggle with him if you can."
Now RM, being very rich in meme currency, asked:
"Does he accept Rare Pepes as payment?"
So I said:
"Yes.
However, he does not take Rare Wofls, and will certainly not accept Rare Fefes. Only the rarest of Pepes."
So RM proudly said:
"Luckily my position as a memesite mod has granted me access to a vault of only the top brand of Pepes. I got a 1948 vintage Pepe in there whose value can buy me KYM."
A 1948 vintage Pepe? Very impressive indeed! However, I knew of an even greater Pepe, and I had to know if he had it. So I asked:
"Well that’s nice, but do you have…..
The Jurassic Pepe?
Also known as The Lost Pepe?"
And I continued with:
"Rumor has it that The Jurassic Pepe is the rarest and oldest Pepe of all, so rare that not even The Tiny Space Drug-Dealing Cthulu himself knows of it’s whereabouts.
With that Pepe, you can buy 6 thousand pounds of space weed, the Internet, a whole nation of cat girl companions, the rights to Foodfight, and North Korea."
Thirty or so minutes passed. I was sweating profusely, with bated breath, waiting for RM's reply.
Finally, at about 4:43 pm, RandomMan asked:
"But what if I want North Korea filled with catgirls?"
Finally RandomMan replied! So I eagerly informed him:
"Buy bioweapons with your rare pepes.
Then saturate North Korea with the Catgirl Virus and cause all the women of North Korea to mutate into nekos.
Rumor has it that saturating large areas work better if you cosplay as Wesker while doing it."
And…. I suppose RM didn't know who the glorious Albert Wesker was, and went to google up images of him, because he responded with:
"Why am I finding neko Wesker art when just Googling for “Wesker”?"
And I thought that was just fuckin'…. bizarre, so I went to look it up too, and…. Well…… I did, and I said:
"wtf are you talking about-
……
………
http://www.zerochan.net/1703897#full
Well shit, you weren’t lying.
…. RandomMan, I think this is a sign."
RM responded back with:
"A sign that we need to turn the entire Matrix into nekos?"
And this point I was a thinking "oh shit I gotta get really creative nao to impress RandomMan Senpai" so I was like:
"No.
I think it’s a sign that in the distance future, The Matrix will be real.
But it will have been created by Weebs.
Everything would be in the stereotypical moe anime style.
All women will be cute and youthful, and 50% of the female population will have animal ears. (Only 30% of males would have animal ears because all Weebs are dudes eww homo.)
Having sex with minors would be legal if the minor is female.
You can bleed liters and liters of blood out of your nose and still live.
And giant Mechas would be completely street legal.
And in that distant future, the entire plot of The Matrix would happen accept Neko Wesker would be the protagonist and KYMmembers would be involved in all of this somehow and…….."
Y'see I was high again because a certain Tryhards made me rage quit on a certain Catgirl dissing thread so I has having a brain fart
"And………"
"Wtf is this conversation"
And then RM was like:
"Stay off the space weed lol"
And so I said:
"I….
I….
You’re right, I’m so high on my own stupidity I think I just left the atmosphere….
You do realize we’re gonna havta make a thread about this now right? We just had a Newberry Medal worthy conversation, we…. Need to make a novel out of this shit."
So RM just shat out the reply of:
"I’ll look forward to the results.
I only request a cut of the memebucks the book will make."
And thus this thread was made!
The book is expected to come out in 2020, shortly after the anime adaption of Is This Your Daughter? The first five people to post in this topic gets a free autographed copy of the book. Ideas for the book are considered and welcomed.
