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HELP ME,SAM IS GOING TO BREAK INTO MY HOUSE AND CUT MY DICK OFF TO CHANGE MY SEX!!!!!!WHAT SHOULD I DO?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?SHE'S GOING TO DO IT BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PREVENT IT FROM HAPPENING!!HELP ME!!!
Please help me!

We call that awakening your spirit pussy.

Please get your terms right, shitlord.

That seems like a serious problem you have there Funpost. I think I have a solution.

Obviously from your cries of desperation, there is no hope at preventing Sam from committing a serious felony just to come cut your dick off for unknown reasons.

However, it is not a felony to castrate oneself, and I see this as the best plan of action as this also prevents Sam from forcing your sex change on you. I believe I have solved your problem. Good day.

Why are you so worried?

Don't you wanna be as hip as this guy?

>implying you had a dick to cut off in the first place
>MFW

This is what you can look forward to Funpost Overdrive
Don't fight it

>2016, September: the month of the oppressed manwomenchildren
>is in the hardware store
>browsing inventory
>weiring pink shirt with golden letters saying "slut" and skin tight jeans
>CIS PRIVILEGE ALERT!
>CIS PRIVILEGE ALERT!
>CIS PRIVILEGE ALERT!
>female officers comes to me
>"hi misses officer what a fine day it/her/she is"
>"this is a privilege checkup you have the right to be not privileged"
>"Take of yur clothes"
>strips off clothes
>officer checks my anus
>but plug detected, all is fine
>officer takes my phone and checks my twitter activity
>twittered 5 times during the last hour that none CIS shouldn't be oppressed, all was good
>checks nipples
>no nipple piercing found
>"y u aint weiring no piercing?"
>"u-um I forgot…"
>"u always supposed to weir ur nippierce so you must come wit me"
>goes to bathroom
>sit down
>smacks my ass raw with a police baton, about a hundred times
>tasers my nuts
>"take that priveluj"
>several people defecate on me
>must wash myself with water from a toilet
>put clothes on
>couldn't buy stuff because shop owner was out getting castrated.
>Privilege checked

Call 911

Just get another one.