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I have seen the current state of affairs, and it leaves me deeply shocked and saddened. Clearly, the balance of the universe- the ebb and flow, the yin and yang- is in desperate need of restoration. You, my friends, will help me with that.
To fight back, we must not only look at the damage being caused as I speak by this unholy month, but all those that came before it. There is an empty void in the universe where unspeakable numbers of fapping sessions past should lie. Needless to say, this is a crevice that must be… filled to the brim.
According to my calculations, the absolute maximum number of times a normal, healthy young male could be expected to masturbate to conclusion from midnight tonight (PST) to the dawn of glorious October is roughly 605. To make this very important challenge a bit more reasonable, I will round down to a nice, whole number:
500
Accomplish this feat, and I guarantee that when you shuffle off the mortal coil your name will be forevermore spoken with the utmost reverence, for the good you will have done for all of humanity cannot be measured.
Good luck, and may the porn be with you.

apparently im already winning without even trying.

My dick would blown up if I do that

Day 1 is now wrapping up, and I would like some early progress reports. Obviously, you will need to average 17.857 times throughout the month to meet the goal- however, it's perfectly fine of you set the bar for yourself a little low, as you need to warm up your bodies' abilities, plus it is typically more challenging to maintain a consistent cycle on a weekday. I personally, however, easily clocked in at 20 this Wednesday, as I am already in peak physical condition.

I only got 5 but I was busy with other things I'll make sure to catch up tonight.