As reported by a subsidiary of the Associated Press, Cheezburgur Inc- including, of course, our much-beloved website- has been purchased by America Online. It is one of the glorious founders of the internet itself and all that is good about today, and deserves total respect. Denial of this fact will lead to certain undisclosed punishments.
Ladies and gentelmen, let it be known that this is our god now:
Love him. Serve him. Please him.
As a member of the AOL empire, it is mandatory that you destroy all music in your possession, and replace it with the sounds of the angelic choir:
Peace be with you, brethren.