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Welcome to the 2018 NFL General on KYM! Are you into American Football? Who will win Super Bowl LIII (53)? Will you stand or kneel? How will the season go?

If you're not into this sport, please don't be rude and say you don't care.

A preview by UrinatingTree:

Are you the guy that does Urniating Tree?

If so, well done!

Here's my bold prediction of the year: Browns are going to win infinitely more games then they won last year.

You heard it here first folks.

No, I'm not him, I just like his videos. Seriously, UT entry when?

Atlanta – 12
Philadelphia – 18

Believeland – 21
Shitsburgh – 21

The Raiders don't play until tomorrow and i'm already fuming watching this Packers-Bears game.

ok now I feel better

Can't wait to see how badly the Lions screw up this year. After the preseason performance, Patricia's already in damage control mode talking about how it's "going to take a long time to do" and "we've got a long way to go."

If yesterday's game against the Bears was any indication, this season is going to be filled with heart attacks for us Packers fans.

Can't wait to see how badly the Lions screw up this year.

Update: they're off to a fantastic start. I actually thought they'd just continue to hover in mediocrity, but it seems my cynicism needs to become even more bitter and nihilistic. It's funny that we're now at the point where it's no longer about the GM or the coach or the QB getting fired, but about wanting the owner to be fired.

It's been that way for a while now. I have Lions fans in my family, and for years they have agreed the Ford family has never done them right.

THE CLEVELAND BROWNS HAVE WON A GAME! I REPEAT, THE CLEVELAND BROWNS HAVE WON A GAME OF AMERICAN FOOTBALL! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

Seattle Seahawks owner Paul Allen passed away. He was 65.

We're halfway through the season and the Cowboys are bad. :(

chowzburgerz said:

We're halfway through the season and the Cowboys are bad. :(

At least your owner actually cares about his team and didn't hire a banker with no football experience as President, who would go on to hire the GM.

Playoff Scenarios Before The Final Week:

1. Kansas City Chiefs

Playoff Berth: Clinched

AFC West: Win or Chargers loss

1st Round Bye: Win or Chargers loss

AFC #1 Seed: Win or Patriots loss

2. New England Patriots

Playoff Berth: Clinched

AFC East: Clinched

1st Round Bye: Win or Texans loss

AFC #1 Seed: Win and Chiefs loss and Chargers loss

3. Houston Texans

Playoff Berth: Clinched

AFC South: Win

1st Round Bye: Win and Patriots loss

AFC #1 Seed: Win and Chiefs loss, and Patriots loss, and Chargers loss

4. Baltimore Ravens

Playoff Berth: Win or Steelers loss

AFC North: Win or Steelers loss

1st Round Bye: Win and Patriots loss and Texans loss

5. Los Angeles Chargers

Playoff Berth: Clinched

AFC West: Win and Chiefs loss

1st Round Bye: Win and Chiefs loss

AFC #1 Seed: Win and Chiefs loss

6. Indianapolis Colts

Playoff Berth: Win

AFC South: Win and Texans loss

7. Tennessee Titans

Playoff Berth: Win

AFC South: Win and Texans loss

8. Pittsburgh Steelers

Playoff Berth: Win and Ravens loss or Colts-Titans tie

AFC North: Win and Ravens loss

1. New Orleans Saints

Playoff Berth: Clinched

NFC South: Clinched

1st Round Bye: Clinched

NFC #1 Seed: Clinched

2. Los Angeles Rams

Playoff Berth: Clinched

NFC West: Clinched

1st Round Bye: Win or Bears loss

3. Chicago Bears

Playoff Berth: Clinched

NFC North: Clinched

1st Round Bye: Win and Rams loss

4. Dallas Cowboys

Playoff Berth: Clinched

NFC East: Clinched

5. Seattle Seahawks

Playoff Berth: Clinched

NFC #5 Seed: Win or Vikings loss

6. Minnesota Vikings

Playoff Berth: Win or Eagles loss

NFC #5 Seed: Win and Seahawks loss

7. Philadelphia Eagles

Playoff Berth: Win and Vikings loss

NFC Wild Card Weekend:

3. Chicago Bears vs. 6. Philadelphia Eagles
4. Dallas Cowboys vs. 5. Seattle Seahawks

NFC Divisional Playoffs:

1. New Orleans Saints vs. Lowest Winning Wild Card Weekend Winner
2. Los Angeles Rams vs. Highest Winning Wild Card Weekend Winner

AFC Wild Card Weekend:

3. Houston Texans vs. 6. Indianapolis Colts
4. Baltimore Ravens vs. 5. Los Angeles Chargers

AFC Divisional Playoffs:

1. Kansas City Chiefs vs. Lowest Winning Wild Card Weekend Winner
2. New England Patriots vs. Highest Winning Wild Card Weekend Winner

Indianapolis – 21
Houston – 7

Seattle – 22
Dallas – 24

Los Angeles – 23
Baltimore – 17

Philadelphia – 16
Chicago – 15

NFC Divisional Playoffs:

1. New Orleans Saints vs. 6. Philadelphia Eagles
2. Los Angeles Rams vs. 4. Dallas Cowboys

AFC Divisional Playoffs:

1. Kansas City Chiefs vs. 6. Indianapolis Colts
2. New England Patriots vs. 5. Los Angeles Chargers

Indianapolis – 13
Kansas City – 31

Dallas – 22
Los Angeles – 30

Los Angeles – 28
New England – 41

Philadelphia – 14
New Orleans – 20

Los Angeles – 26
New Orleans – 23

Overtime

THE LOS ANGELES RAMS ARE GOING TO SUPER BOWL LIII!

New England – 37
Kansas City – 31

Overtime

THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS ARE GOING TO SUPER BOWL LIII!

AFC – 26
NFC – 7

New England – 13
Los Angeles – 3

THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS ARE THE SUPER BOWL LIII CHAMPIONS!

I can't believe how badly they fucked up the halftime show. They had a chance to at least salvage something from a terrible game, but decided to just cement its status instead. Not even mentioning Spongebob would have been better than doing that.

How was that a terrible game? Because both teams didn't combine for 1000 points? Fuck me if we actually have good, hard hitting, defensive battles anymore.

I for one can't keep but to marvel at the performance of the Patriots defense. They looked terrible for almost the entire year, yet when it mattered the most, they shut down one of the most explosive offenses in the league.

Are you some bot? You copied my post months ago.

Mangy Black Sheep said:

How was that a terrible game?

It was incredibly boring. A good "low scoring" game has offense clashing with defense. The offense grinds down to the endzone, but there's a big, critical stop and they're forced to settle for a field goal or blow a risky fourth and goal. Or the defense gets a big interception just as the momentum's picking up.

Neither team made it to the red zone until the fourth quarter. And what's perhaps even worse, the big touchdown that sealed it for the Patriots wasn't even after a huge, exciting drive where they slowly chipped away at a defense that had held all night. It was a five play blowout.

I knew things were bad when the announcers were desperately trying to hype up the punters (rather than, in an exciting game, some safeties that had shut down some great pass attempts or the linemen that stuffed the fourth and goal). I knew it was barely salvageable when I couldn't remember a single commercial from the first quarter when the second started. And I knew it was hopeless when Squidward introduced a rapper.