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Ever since the being of elementary school, I have always heard the phrase "life is unfair". It was the stock phrase for whenever I complained about something, and there was nothing that I could do to argue against it. I always some snarky kid in class who told me how bad everything was, and as I grew older, people only complained more, whether it be about school, athletics, or the rest of the world. This also included people who refused to talk about anything positive about America, regardless of their political opinions. What bothered me more, however, was that people saw this as a sign of maturity. This is heavily prevalent in media, as well. Stories with ideal heroes and horrible villains are viewed as childish and unrealistic, only to achieve acclaim when it has a lot of death and other stuff, which I am fine with. However, stories with jerk anti-heroes and "sympathetic" villains (ie villains who are murderous sociopaths but do it because they hate pollution or some petty crap) don't have to prove themselves as mature as they are already labeled as such. Virtually all of stand-up comedy and Simpsons-esk shows just make fun of people, events, and brands. With politics, the only thing that you can ever say without offending someone is by saying that both sides are stupid.

This all contributes to my main question that I hope you can answer: why does everybody try to be cynical? While I don't consider myself an optimist, I believe that there is more good than bad in the world. Is that immature?

Cynicism is part of "experience" from a certain subject being displayed in forms of negativity and hateful nature. From my own experience I feel that trying to be more positive feels better than being a dick all the time. But at the same time things seem way more different from what we are used to. So just the basic change in general in your new interests can make the things you used to enjoy doing not as appealing.

Good Topic

The cynicism in todays culture is a result of the post-modernist tendency to "deconstruct" everything. Heroes are not just heroes now, but Darker an Edger because The World Is Not Nice, and everything is not Black and White, and if it is it tends to be to such extremes as to be a bad thing.

Look at how Batman went from Tim Burton to Bat Nipples to Christopher Nolan. Instead of buddy-cop TV shows you have The Wire. The generational optimism of the 50s was replaced with the 60s hippy culture only to be replaced by the 70s disco era which gave way to the 80s (whatever that was) and onto the 90s, 2000s and so on.

I suppose you could say 9/11 also played a big part as well. World wasn't the same after that and alot of people's idealistic views of the world were shattered at that time. America became "the badguy" because Bush and Cheney were evil and the war in Iraq/Afghanistan, and so on.

It is not immature to be an optimist. Neither is being a cynic a sign of maturity. There is nothing wrong with being an idealist and holding onto certain ideals even in the face of intense scrutiny. In my view, it takes a certain amount of strength to keep faith with your ideals. But then again, I suppose one can be a cynic; realizing that people are selfish in nature (even you and me), but at the same time hold onto the ideal that not all people allow themselves to be ruled by such behavior. Its akin to faith in god in some respects. You might not believe in god, or a higher power, but the basis of faith remains the same; holding onto that ideal like a candle in the night to hopefully lead the way.

I mean, if Super Heroes of old were considered thus because of their infallable sense of Great Justice! then why not aim to be a Super Hero? Gotta set your standards somewhere.

the only people I've ever encountered t hat viewed cynicism as a sign of maturity were other cynics who walked around parading their "enlightened" world view. They look and see only the ugly, and presume that everything is therefore ugly, and worthless, and it gives them a sense superiority because they stand above the muck, and the ignorance.

But…really…they are the ones blind and ignorant to the beauty all around them.

I agree with you but we must remind ourselves of our own actions, because I disagree with something doesn't mean I wont engage in said activity.

It goes both ways because hate is a natural human emotion. But once a persons' hate become dominant over their major social interactions with strangers/internet, I can make a justified opinion on weather an individual is diagnosed as a cynic

Being optimistic doesn't mean embracing a naive attitude. People can be evil. And many many MANY people choose that route. But many many MANY more do not. And unfortunately, as I have to constantly remind my very cynical fiance, the people that do real good are often times ignored.

The old priest who wanders Skid Row every Sunday giving $5 to every homeless person he can every Sunday. The chef that feeds 2000+ kids in his restaurant every night. The soldiers who lay down their lives to protect children of their enemies.

To even the most mundane: the single mother working 14 hours just so her kids can have a better life. The lone scientist on his 32nd hour of being up trying to find a cure for a disease. The family that rescues stray dogs and nurtures them to health.

Nameless people, every one of them, wandering this world, flawed, and beautiful.

Virtually all of stand-up comedy and Simpsons-esk shows just make fun of people, events, and brands. With politics, the only thing that you can ever say without offending someone is by saying that both sides are stupid.

You sound more cynical than the people you're criticizing.

I think the amount of cynicism does depend on a culture/nation's experiences somewhat. As well as one's own experience.

For example, Russians and Americans are somewhat polar opposites of one another when it comes what to expect from life due to the former getting the shit end of the stick a lot and the latter more or less having a silver spoon in its mouth. Hell, Europe after two World War sort of show why Europeans were more cynical than Americans since there was many great losses that made things like absurdism spread in popularity due to how badly things went to shit.

That and the internet along with social media does reveal a lot more about people than before, sometimes in a good light and sometimes in a bad light.

From personal experience, I have known plenty of people who are victims of petty and terrible stuff people do when they feel justified in it. I had to sit in stunned silence while listening to a friend tell me that his roommates told people who didn't like him that he had depression and they tormented him about it, and when he confronted his roommates they told him that they did it because during one night out he drunkenly put his arm around the shoulder of the girl that they liked but he had no interest in at all. He lost a year of university because his depression got so bad due to people tormenting him on top of switching meds until he found ones that worked.

To counter this though, the professors saw that he was heavily depressed and the university allowed him a free year to retry for his course again.

Cynicism (along with misanthropy) comes from expecting more from the world and people and then thnking that you grew thicker skin for the next disappointment. I myself am somewhat cynical and misanthropic (more of the don't easily trust people kind than kill and hate everyone kind), but I am hoping to find a balance between optimistic and cynicism. Mostly due to cynicism to me not being a sign of maturity, just a reaction like optimism to the universe which isn't fair nor caring about life in it, but that some of that life can choose to try and do otherwise.

In my mind, cynicism that rejects that some people like Fred Rogers do exist and that most people do not intentionally want to hurt people, or that the world has come far since this speech:

Is as childish as say optimism of blindly trusting people to not steal a ticket for a charity raffle when you are off to do something like the bathroom only to come back and find out that a few people nicked off with a few tickets without paying (seen that happen once). Or believing that the average person can not at all be potentially as bad or worse than a psychopath when it comes to doing bad things since either the belief that they are doing good and the target deserves harm or doesn't deserve any empathy or that they are doing no harm at all.

It's true; the thing with being a dick all the time (excuse my language) is that there has to be a point where you stop. If you choose to be nothing but this overtly cynical asshole who sees nothing but the bad in everything, sooner or later you'll be set in your ways. You'd be stuck a cynical asshole forever, living a miserable existence where you'd never be truly happy.

You're pretty smart.

I don't think that cynicism is necessarily a sign of maturity. What is a sign of maturity though is looking at the world as the way it is rather than the way you think it should be. Many people become cynical once they realize that their own contributions will likely have a minimal, if even that, impact on the world.

Thanks, although I would say that I am kind of smart since I am still willing to do stupid shit like deciding to scroll down the Youtube comment section of a video that many folks know are going to be cringe-worthy as well as make an ass of myself in some arguments that are relatively pointless to have from time to time.

I suppose if you want a direct example of why cynicism isn't a sign of maturity, look at the whole "thot" meme.

Oh so I'm not the only one who does that. :v

I'd like to add that IRL relationships suffer from cynicism from a member of a group. Nice to check yourself every once in a while so you don't always be so negative cause it's contagious in online communities/servers.

I'm just saying this because sometimes people need to pull you up and tell you how you are acting and giving that a considerate amount of time to evaluate your actions. I get sucked into a cynical void at times, but you will feel that people will tend to stray away from you or cut you off. (There's a SouthPark episode like this, but it's true)

anyway, it's better to be nice, dummies

No it's not sign of maturity. But. Cynism helps you to survive until maturity and further by avoiding pedos in icecream trucks, organ sellers and scammers. Just like in RPGs, cynism perk gives you +1 to WIS, while innocence perk gives you +1 to CHA. Cynism perk is pretty useful in countries with high amount of dishonest people who create pyramid schemes, simply scam people or put sleeping pills in your drink to sell you in slavery. Better safe than sorry, also I don't exclude possibilitiy that you live in heaven on Earth.

Well, the whole thing about cynicism and optimism that plenty of folks point out here is that they are sort of tools in dealing with life, and like any tool, they can be used well or badly.

The most common cynicism is that regarding relationships as well as how people react to a bad relationship or a few. Some people become the most nihilistic cynics when it comes to relationships, either due to: missing out on a chance to date someone because they weren't optimistic or too afraid to ask someone out on a date only for someone else to ask first; either or both parties fucking up in a relationship; just falling out with the other person.

The biggest example of this are pick-up artists who make the whole idea of going up and asking someone if they want to go on a date or have sex while looking like a presentable human being who is confident in themselves into a mindboggling cynical game that ultimately ends up with them paying through the nose for useless advice when paying for a prostitute or just asking someone out while looking presentable would've been cheaper.

Funny seeing prostitutes mentioned here, but yeah I can definitely agree and with the cynicism. And going back on topic we can discuss that once someone experiencing this "disease" is cured, they can reach open mindedness. I think testing my maturity and open mindedness helps me.

I think calling it a "disease" is going a little too far, it is more like that sort of emo phrase or stage that people talk about.

Some people moderate their cynicism, some people grow out of it, others go deeper into it.

But yeah, generally a good way to keep cynicism and optimistic from becoming unhealthy is to be open-minded on things and know when to deploy either one of them depending on the situation.

I guess its because traits like idealism and optimism are commonly associated with those who haven't experienced much of life. Its no coincidence that as you get older a lot of your idealism and hopeful innocence starts to wain. So i can see why becoming more cynical can be associated with maturity and getting older.

But in my opinion, being able to hold on to one's hope and idealism even in spite of all the shit life can throw at you takes a really strong person. The world isn't changed by those who let life get them down, its changed by those who refuse to let it break them.

I learned about this phenomenon in a psych course. When people meet others, they instinctively judge them based on 4 qualities: how cold, warm, competent, or incompetent they are. It just so happens people align those who are "cold" (cynical) with people who are competent and vice versa even if its not true. People like other people who are "warm" (nice), but people themselves want to be respected so they act cold

Very interesting concept for thread. Perhaps because as you age you become aware of the pain and truths of the world

Being a cynic is totally fine. It can help people develop healthy ideas about the world, develop skepticism. It doesn't have to be an overbearing trait of someone, it can co-exist with other philosophies, it can be a building block in creative work. It can be parts of both introverted and extroverted people.

What issue I have and why it's flawed, separate from open-mindedness is that people can take that philosophy, make cynicism "them". I do not like cynics that have it define their person. Cynicism isn't a healthy personality. To me, I know a cynical friend and speaking with him is sometimes frustrating. I like him as a person, I don't rag on him about it because I have my views, he doesn't confront me about it, it's natural. Soundtracks to media will be his thing, contemporary music will be my thing, it's a matter of taste in a way. But I get frustrated speaking with him. It's hard to convey each other's thoughts when on his side, he can cloud what he truly feels about an idea by having to stop and determine how relevant it is. Or only proceed to talk, controlling mind you, about what he feels like is relevant to both of us. Just let me shoot the shit with you, and it will be fine, no need to practice your philosophy on everything man.

Both of us are still young men. I'm neither sure if one of us is more mature than the other, or have a total grasp of the whole world yet, but it's hell of a lot to absorb for me being friends with a cynical person growing up. I'm sure my friend will grow to be a well-rounded guy, with how he does aim for achievement has healthy relationships and has real interests, but understanding how he views the world and speaks his mind through speaking with me is incredibly frustrating.

But to answer the question in the OP:

I believe cynicism can stem from maturity. But maturity comes from experience right? But with the Internet, a fucking geyser of information 'experiences' can overflow into an unsuspecting, developing brain. Mostly eye-catching negative information seems to flow better nowadays, and what would this steady stream of information do to an unsuspecting person?

Separate from how an outlier cynic can develop from not much other than experiences, many people in recent generations are likely being converted by other cynics from any possible inch of the world -- being able to project their ideas into developing thoughts about the world.

No one may 'want' to be a cynic, but it can absolutely ensnare them into a way of thinking. Cynicism can develop early on, like my cynical friend, but no one will really know if it's his exposure to information or if it's a development of maturity nowadays. (I don't know if there's a study on this, but if there is, I'd love to read it.)

Cynicism can happen though information, experiences though this rapid-fire flow of new thoughts and ideas from others, and can plague the mind faster than any sort of philosophy. That can be an explanation of 'why everyone seems to be cynical'.

But sometimes they end up becoming the very bringers of that pain. Either that, or they just become so apathetic they never do anything.