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It's just the first week into the 17-18 season, and we already have:

• 2 players out for season;
• 2 40+ blowouts;
• a head coach fired.

It's gonna sucks.

The Nets have the same winning percentage as the Cavs.
Who would have thought.

You know what's worse than seeing your son burnt by a certain Joel Embiid?
Mr President knocks on your door asking for gratitude.

The Grizz fires Fiz shortly after Marc Gasol got mad at being benched. Hmm.

Sean Marks strikes again by swindling the 76ers to exile Jahlil Okafor to Brooklyn.
That means the Nets now have the 2nd and 3rd picks of the 2015 class without using a pick. (They couldn't anyway, but still.)

Meanwhile in Philly
#TrustTheProcess

WARNING: The Kartvelians are going to destroy the All-Star voting once again.

PS: Apologies to people living in the US state of Georgia.

Probably the only good thing of killing Net Neutrality is that all the spamming votes from (the Republic of) Georgia are rightfully quenched.

>also tfw LeBron no longer gets the most votes

Giannis: I'll pick LeBron if I win the fan voting.
LeBron: That's cute.

The All-Star starters are revealed.
East Starters: Giannis Antetokounmpo, DeMar DeRozan, Kyrie Irving, LeBron James, Joel Embiid
West Starters: Kevin Durant, Stephen Curry, Anthony Davis, James Harden, DeMarcus Cousins

Now the only question left is who will represent LA in the All-Star Game. Definitely not Lonzo.

Kidd is fired by the Bucks.
Seriously? Now?

The All-Star reserves are revealed.

>no Heat
>no CP3
>no LA
Great, it's over before it even started.

Cousins is out for season.

Could the Pels even finish ONE season without getting season-ending injuries?

BTW, Paul George will take Cousins' place in the All-Star Game.

It sure sucks to live in LA in 2018.

Blake Griffin is exiled to Detroit.
No wonder he didn't get picked to replace Cousins.

BTW, this means the gang who forced DeAndre Jordan to stay in the Clippers are all gone. The irony.

Bad news: The Heat got snubbed again with Drummond replacing Wall (knee) in the All-Star Game.
Good news: The Heat still have a chance after Love's injury.

Former player Rasual Butler was killed in a car crash with his wife. He was 38.

Aaaaaand here it is. Dragic is in. Should have got him straight in IMHO.

Also, Dell Demps finally undid one of his blunders by offloading Asik's poison contract to the Bulls for Mirotic.

What the hell have you done, LeBron!?!?

And now for something completely different:
Kemba Walker will replace Porzingis (left ACL) in the All-Star Game.

You know the T-Wolves have some serious problem when Jimmy Butler asked to not play in the All-Star Game.

The Hornets fired Rich Cho.
About time for a change to prepare for the next All-Star Weekend.

*MEME'D DON

Kobe wins an Oscar.

Rose reunites with Thibs.
Minnesota Bulls, anyone?

Which is worse: the Grizzlies’ 18-game (and counting) losing streak, or the Spurs dropping out of Playoff zone for the first time in 20 years?

Pels (and Saints) owner Tom Benson passed away of the flu. He was 90.

The good: The Pels won the back-to-back-to-back.
The bad: The Griz have themselves raped by 61 points.
The ugly: This same Griz beat the Nuggets.

Embiid is injured. Again.

Nash, Kidd, Grant Hill and Ray Allen are all in the basketball Hall of Fame.

Irving is out for season AND Playoffs.
That means that the C's offseason moves were for naught.

Damn, you've been feeling lonely, Rabbid? Don't worry, NBA Playoffs are almost here.

Mitch Kupchak is the new Hornets GM.
Uh-oh. Shit's got real next season.

2018 NBA Playoffs:

Western Conference:
1. Houston Rockets vs. 8. Minnesota Timberwolves
2. Golden State Warriors vs. 7. San Antonio Spurs
3. Utah Jazz vs. 6. Oklahoma City Thunder
4. Portland Trail Blazers vs. 5. New Orleans Hornets

Eastern Conference:
1. Toronto Raptors vs. 8. Washington Wizards
2. Boston Celtics vs. 7. Milwaukee Bucks
3. Philadelphia 76ers vs. 6. Miami Heat
4. Cleveland Cavaliers vs. 5. Indiana Pacers

The good: Markelle Fultz ended his rookie (regular) season with a triple double.
The bad: Hornacek is fired.
The ugly: The T-Wolves finally ended their Playoffs drought … by literally running the starters to the ground.

Pelicans, not Hornets.

Welp, turns out Vogel is fired as well.

@chowzburgerz
At least you didn't says Bobcats.

Another one down. Clifford is fired.

offseason moves

Explain yourself.

Kawhi Leonard shuts himself out of Playoffs.
To quote UrinatingTree, YOU'RE FUCKED

Bud is fired.
That makes it 4 coaching vacancies in the offseason.

Also, congrats Thibs! You run your team into the ground again!

Western Conference Semifinals:

1. Houston Rockets vs. 5. Utah Jazz
2. Golden State Warriors vs. 6. New Orleans Pelicans

Eastern Conference Semifinals:

1. Toronto Raptors vs. 4. Cleveland Cavaliers
2. Boston Celtics vs. 3. Philadelphia 76ers

If the Rockets lose to the Jazz, I think CP3 should just commit sudoku.
I mean, it's a legitimately strong Rockets which pose genuine threat to the Dubs, against a bunch of Playoffs rookies, with the starting PG sidelined.

We have a European-born head coach.
The Suns have hired Igor Kokoškov as their new head coach.

Bad: Ben Simmons got only one point.
Worse: The Raptors are facing yet another sweep by LeBron.
Worst: Fiz commits suicide coaches the Knicks.

SVG is out.
Lesson learnt: having one person to be coach and PoBO simultaneously is a terrible idea.

The Capitals broke past the second round.
CP3 broke past the second round.
What's next? Messi winning the World Cup?

Western Conference Finals:

1. Houston Rockets vs. 2. Golden State Warriors

Eastern Conference Finals:

4. Cleveland Cavaliers vs. 2. Boston Celtics

Congratulations on your winning of NBCA Coach of the Year Award, Mr Casey!
Now fuck off.