Forums / Fun! / Creative

So remember my superhero story, well i've made a shit ton of progress on it since then. But there is still a lot of work to do on it. So all i need is some good ol fashioned critique and suggestions on what should be changed, added, or taken out all together. Any feedback is accepted, even the harsh kind.

Here's the Link

So uh, anyone got any ideas?

Heh-heh, I tried to read that whole thing, I really did…. But it was just too long to be read in one sitting, that's probably why you have no replies, A9000.

Yeah, probably. If you want just read like, one part.

I have little to no personal experience with writing extensive stories, however I would recommend you try putting the ideas you have right now and try to write a brief story using some of the ideas (not all) that you plan on implementing to the full thing, just enough for you to have a good feel of how's its going to work out.

Right now the only thing I'm worried about is the the possibility of characters with almost unlimited power (the level 5's) becoming unwieldy in the story telling, particularly time travel ones.

My word isn't expert wisdom by any sense, it's just suggestions. There's probably other users here that could give you much more informed advice and critique.

Okay so I Broke it up so it wouldn't be such a chore to read through. I made some changes and added in some new villains

"Character List rogue"s:https://onedrive.live.com/redir?resid=FA40A1C2DD6C1361!964&authkey=!APz6QtV4AguSQwg&ithint=file%2cdocx
Story premise and Arcs

Maybe have the level 5's all have something fucked up about them, both to add a handicap to avoid Mary Suish levels of invincibility as well as add another layer of danger to them. Like maybe having the powers of a God cracks them mentally, their physical bodies aren't entirely able to handle that level of energy, they lose sense of who they were prior to their awakening, etc.

I see, kinda like Dr Manhattan.