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ENthe ONION FIFA Frantically Annof aIN THIS SECTION + FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States Global Soccer Tournament To Kick Off In America Later This Afternoon ARTICLE May 27, 2015 VOL 51 ISSUE 21 Sports World Womens Sports And Soccer Fifa FIFA ZURICH-After the Justice Department indicted numerous executives from world soccer's governing body on charges of corruption and bribery, frantic and visibly nervous officials from FIFA held an impromptu press conference Wednesday to announce that the United States has been selected to host this summer's 2015 World Cup. "We are thrilled to reveal that, for the first time in 21 years, the World Cup will finally return to America, with matches set to kick off today at 5 p.m. local time in Los Angeles," said FIFA president Sepp Blatter, smiling broadly before unveiling the tournament's official logo, a hand-drawn stick figure kicking a soccer ball with “USA 2015!" hastily scribbled in black marker above its head. “with world-class venues in cities across the country and a rapidly growing passion for the sport, the U.S. is the perfect choice-really the only choice-for this summer's tournament. Everyone at FIFA is certain that the 2015 World Cup in America will be a tremendous success, and billions of fans from around the world will, in justa few hours, come together to enjoy this wonderful display of soccer over the coming weeks." At press time, the U.S. national team was leading defending champions Germany in the World Cup's opening match after being awarded 12 penalties in the game's first three minutes.

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"FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In The United States: Global Soccer Tournament To Kick Off In America Later This Afternoon"


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Uploaded Jun 01, 2015 at 03:28PM EDT

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