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bonehatter: when u thinkin really hard about stuff u cant share with anybody ever

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spongebob secrets spongbob squarepants can't tell anybody

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fulgur-caligo-custodis kurlyfryz Power move: Next time you go to the airport, bring a bottle of shampoo, but it's filled with yogurt. When they tell you that liquids aren't allowed Drink it Posted in r/madlads by u/ProbablyM_S reddit

lesbianshepard Jul 24 travelling next week for work. googled the nearest city and none of you are prepared to see what passes for the local style pizza. lesbianshepard Jul 24 this should be a crime lesbianshepard Jul 25 #someone needs to die for this #divorced dad type food #is the local chef a 12 year old latchkey kid? #as a new yorker im about to k J elf #abolish all prisons except one for these guys #that is a crime where I'm from #I'm anti regional food variation shaming but this is a crime man #mamma mia. #i took like a deep shuddering breath #i feel nauseous. #oh no they should be shot #literally the closest thing to anti-Italian racism the reviews are in: Pennsylvania must pay for its crimes

theaccidentfactory Follow I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby theaccidentfactory English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking s about the neighbor's son

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ALL THE HOMO!

the-adequate-gats by whole h--- 2% h--- skim h--- soy h--- almond h--- rice h--- butter h--- #1 Can't Believe it's Not H--- 492470 VIA /I SOURCE // REBLOG

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This is satire, obviously

thsi is the best day of my life Ma Anonymous said: That post with you wearing that is disgusting. Unless you are foodkin, you have NO business wearing or making a mockery of food! You should seriously be ashamed of yourself and you should REALLY consider deleting that TRASH post!

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Still Making My Way Uptown

clanny-phantom iwasbannedfro.... Source: bootthug making my way downtown still making my way downtown downtown is farther than originally thought seriously though did someone move downtown maybe i should've taken the bus Day 512: finally made it downtown damn, the mall is closed making my way back uptown 304,438 notes

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Solving a Friend's problem

friend: im having a problem with me: kil1 them friend: no this person me: then i will kill them FOR you friend: NO

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Am I glad she's dating in there and we're dating out here... and that she's the Avatar and that we're dating out here... and that we're dating in there and I just remembered we're dating out here. What I wanna know is where's the Avatar?

ahfyi-lost-my-heart-in-republic-city i-lost-my-heart-in-republic-city When your ex-boyfriend's grandma mistakes you for your girlfriend who is also your ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. 1,401 notes

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Murder Penguin

Source: nostalgiaultra actual-zackry: nostalgiaultra I dont even watch the news cause its DEATH! MURDER! PISS! IN! YOUR .EYES! .A penguin learned to write today ha ha adorable silver lining story! THE PENGUIN WROTE A CONFESSION TO MURDER i was already going to reblog this but then murder penguin 197,802 notes

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Egyptian Pick-Up Line

best-of-funny 43,891 sxizzor rhazade-waterbender badmoonraisin: I am reading an essay called Male-Male Desire in Pharaonic Egypt (by Alex Clayden) which is actually pretty good but I just need to draw attention to this little gem of a pick-up line “How beautiful are thy buttocks!" Attention, followers: you now know how to write "nice s" in hieroglyphics all i ever wanted out of life tbh Source: badmoonralsin

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Shrimps see the darndest things

vanconcastiel gnotum-per-aeque-ignotum fandomstuck the fact that there are animals who can see colors that i cant which means that there are colors that exist that it is literally impossible for me to envision is such f------ b------- that i wanna rip open a couch and eat it Humans have 3 types of rods for processing color (red green and blue) Mantis Shrimp have 16 F------ shrimp. I will NOT be jealous of food Source: fandomstuck

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group objectives

fuckhamlet squad goals

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Accurate

Real Life Me tumblr PretendEMECENTER AO

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Every... Single!.... TIME!

Trying to lay on your side with glasses on

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Hello Kitty Pregnancy Test. Please don't let that be a thing.

morningsuns davestrider davestrider give me ONE thing that hasn't been made into hello kitty merchandise fallonboys said:Pregnancy tests thats a hair straightener

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