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Image #832,696
Uploaded by 545347645 Sep 18, 2014 at 11:13PM EDT
Origin Entry: Shrek Is Love, Shrek Is Life
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![Anonymous (ID: 6G4DIMB) 04/06/13(Sat)23:19:27 UTC-4 No.470821521 [Reply] 9 >Be 18 >Have girlfriend >Have sex on regular basis >She asks for a movie night, something erotic >think of two things we both love >Shrek and sex >Go out of my way to find a shrek p---- search everywhere >found one finally >surprise her with a shrek 1 p---- >she laughs and says that f------ retarded and no sex for a week >one night shes over and were cuddling >we start kissing and I reach down into her pants >She stops me and says n o >l say "why?" >"because of that p----. it really weirded me out. i think we need a break." >w-- it was a stupid mistake >here a bang at the window >l go check it out >smell of onions is unbearable >window breaks open and a naked, fully aroused Shrek appears. >his c--- must of been 24 inches long and a girth of 12 inches >this pulsating veiny c--- aroused my girlfriend and I >became unbearably horny >He shouts "AH WÉ GON HAF A WEE TAH HAV A FOON TEIM LADS." >l insert my c--- into girlfriends vagina >Began f------ hard >Shrek jumps in front of her and shoves his c--- into her mouth and began to thrust hard >moans in pure ecstasy and we all climax >Shrek and I switch sides >Girlfriend spreads her ass checks and yells "OH GOD PLEASE PUT IT IN MY ASS" >"AHH NEVAH OOSE AH O0OSED OLE MAH LASS" He yells. >Repeat another ten minutes of hardcore f------ and sucking > she passes out from pleasure and has a great orgasm >shrek stares at me >"EETS UR TURN LAD" >l bend over with complete obediance >"LEETS BEEGUN" >Shrek penetrates my tender a------ and stretches my anus to the width of his girth. >He climaxes and fills me whole. >He then recedes back into the bushes and I go to my girlfriend and cuddle with her for the night Shrek is love. Shrek is life.](https://a.kym-cdn.com/assets/image-covers/nsfw-small-89411e48e05424344bd3dadd415e878a.png "hang on this hasn’t been uploaded here before right")
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![目File: photo 2014-06-23 06-45-37.jpg (82 KB. 800x550) O Anonymous 06/22/14(Sun)22:45:46 No.42611482 [Reply] MEANWHILE >I was only a 40 year old virgin at the time. I loved NVIDIA so much I dissasembled it every day, thanking it for the performance I've been given "NVIDIA is love" I say, "NVIDIA is life" My mother hears this amd calls me a f----- >I knew she was just jealous of my devotion for Richard Stallman AT NVIDIA I called her a newfag She slaps me and sends me to go to sleep >I'm crying now, and my graphics are shattered > I lay in bed, and it's really cold because my computer is turned of. A warmth is moving towards me > I feel something touch me > It's an NVIDIA graphics card without a cooler >I am on fire > It whispers into my ear "This is our newest driver"](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/809/598/df1.png "df1.png")
![Anonymous Wed Jul 30 09:01:52 2014 No.4322998 File: 27 KB, 250x412, CGI_Great_Spirit_Rising.jpg View same] [google] Quoted by: >>4323459 >>4325526 F--- it, I'm posting this on every Bionicle thread >I was only 100,000 years old loved Mata Nui so much (non-canon), I had all the Nui stones and artefacts >Each night I would pray to Mata Nui, thanking him for the life I've been given >Mata Nui is Love, I say, Mata Nui is life >Turaga Vakama hears me and calls me a kolhi heacd >l knew he was just jealous of my devotion to the Great Spirit >I called him a Tarakarva >He slaps me and sends me to go to Ko-Wahi >I'm crying now and my face hurts lie in Ko-Wahi and it's really cold >l feel a warmth moving towards me, I feel something touch me It's Mata Nui I'm so happy, he whispers in my ear > "This is my universe" >He grabs me with his powerful robot hands and puts me on my hands and fake knees >rm ready, I spread my axle hole for Mata Nui >He inserts a technic pin into my axle hole hurts so much but I do it for Mata Nui >l can feel my plastic tearing as my eyes start to water >l push against his force,I want to please Mata Nui >He roars a mighty roar as he successfully fits the technic pin >Turaga Vakama walks in >Mata Nui looks him straight in the eye and says >·It's al 2010 nove" Mata Nui leaves through the sky >Mata Nui is Love (non-canon), Mata Nui is Life](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/804/013/b2a.png "b2a.png")
![File (158 KB, 650x400) ! Anonymous (DMSSEH)07/26/14(Sat)19:01:55 No.558955032 [Reply] >l was only 9 years old l loved Billy Mays so much, I bought all of his fantastic products l pray to Billy every night before bed, thanking him for the fantastic products I've been given >"Billy Mays is love say; "Billy Mays is life >My dad hears me and calls me a consumerist l know he was just jealous of my devotion to 3 easy payments I called him a over spender >He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep >I'm crying now, and my face hurts sl lay in bed and it's really cold >Suddenly, a warmth is moving towards me >It's Billy >l am so happy >He whispers into my ear This is my guarantee." >He grabs me with his powerful sales hands and puts me down onto my hands and knees I am ready >l spread my wallet for Billy >He penetrates my bank account. slt costs so little but I do it for Billy >l can feel my credit rate improving as my eyes s >l push against his khakis >l want to please Billy >He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with big city sliders >My dad walks in >Billy Mays looks him straight in the eyes and says "just pay shipping and handling." >Billy leaves through my window >Billy Mays is love. Billy Mays is life tart to water](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/801/029/cf1.jpg "cf1.jpg")
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