![File (158 KB, 650x400) ! Anonymous (DMSSEH)07/26/14(Sat)19:01:55 No.558955032 [Reply] >l was only 9 years old l loved Billy Mays so much, I bought all of his fantastic products l pray to Billy every night before bed, thanking him for the fantastic products I've been given >"Billy Mays is love say; "Billy Mays is life >My dad hears me and calls me a consumerist l know he was just jealous of my devotion to 3 easy payments I called him a over spender >He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep >I'm crying now, and my face hurts sl lay in bed and it's really cold >Suddenly, a warmth is moving towards me >It's Billy >l am so happy >He whispers into my ear This is my guarantee." >He grabs me with his powerful sales hands and puts me down onto my hands and knees I am ready >l spread my wallet for Billy >He penetrates my bank account. slt costs so little but I do it for Billy >l can feel my credit rate improving as my eyes s >l push against his khakis >l want to please Billy >He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with big city sliders >My dad walks in >Billy Mays looks him straight in the eyes and says "just pay shipping and handling." >Billy leaves through my window >Billy Mays is love. Billy Mays is life tart to water](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/801/029/cf1.jpg "cf1.jpg")
+16
Image #801,029
Uploaded by IJK_Principle Jul 27, 2014 at 02:39PM EDT
Origin Entry: Shrek Is Love, Shrek Is Life
File type: jpg
Resolution: (824px x 488px)
File size: 41.5 KB
![Anonymous (ID: 6G4DIMB) 04/06/13(Sat)23:19:27 UTC-4 No.470821521 [Reply] 9 >Be 18 >Have girlfriend >Have sex on regular basis >She asks for a movie night, something erotic >think of two things we both love >Shrek and sex >Go out of my way to find a shrek p---- search everywhere >found one finally >surprise her with a shrek 1 p---- >she laughs and says that f------ retarded and no sex for a week >one night shes over and were cuddling >we start kissing and I reach down into her pants >She stops me and says n o >l say "why?" >"because of that p----. it really weirded me out. i think we need a break." >w-- it was a stupid mistake >here a bang at the window >l go check it out >smell of onions is unbearable >window breaks open and a naked, fully aroused Shrek appears. >his c--- must of been 24 inches long and a girth of 12 inches >this pulsating veiny c--- aroused my girlfriend and I >became unbearably horny >He shouts "AH WÉ GON HAF A WEE TAH HAV A FOON TEIM LADS." >l insert my c--- into girlfriends vagina >Began f------ hard >Shrek jumps in front of her and shoves his c--- into her mouth and began to thrust hard >moans in pure ecstasy and we all climax >Shrek and I switch sides >Girlfriend spreads her ass checks and yells "OH GOD PLEASE PUT IT IN MY ASS" >"AHH NEVAH OOSE AH O0OSED OLE MAH LASS" He yells. >Repeat another ten minutes of hardcore f------ and sucking > she passes out from pleasure and has a great orgasm >shrek stares at me >"EETS UR TURN LAD" >l bend over with complete obediance >"LEETS BEEGUN" >Shrek penetrates my tender a------ and stretches my anus to the width of his girth. >He climaxes and fills me whole. >He then recedes back into the bushes and I go to my girlfriend and cuddle with her for the night Shrek is love. Shrek is life.](https://a.kym-cdn.com/assets/image-covers/nsfw-small-89411e48e05424344bd3dadd415e878a.png "hang on this hasn’t been uploaded here before right")
Uploaded by IJK_Principle Jul 27, 2014 at 02:39PM EDT
Origin Entry: Shrek Is Love, Shrek Is Life
File type: jpg
Resolution: (824px x 488px)
File size: 41.5 KB
