Emergency Job Security | Google Ultron | Know Your Meme

Anonymous (ID: 19PWPzZB) 03/20/14(Thu)18:53:03 No.538179152 > day 34 > been playing portal 2 all day in my office > haven't heard so much as a complaint > haven't had to update adobe reader or adobe flash all f------ day > something's not right > no one's said s--- about it > poke my head out of the office s everyone's heads down just typing away > starting to get worried s ask a guy how his computer is working > "Great. Ever since you downloaded Google Ultron, my whole computer has just been flying" s w-- > do a quick google search on google chrome > supposedly it automatically downloads the most up to date versions of adobe > omfg > if I don't have f------ adobe reader I'm f------ out of a job > send out mass email >ATTN: do not open google ultron it has been hacked > spend rest of day uninstalling and making IE the default browser

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Anonymous (ID: 19PWPzZB) 03/20/14(Thu)18:10:29 No.538172774 sday 31 > tell people I'm running server calibrations > "it's like dusting for finger prints" > no one's the wiser > show this one middle aged guy with a beard how to use a webapp > go to favourite it for him and put it on the toolbar > notice all of his favourites > Big t---- housewife > Pajama Butt Slut > Mexican girl on bus > mouse over them as I mouth read them > he starts freaking out > begs me not to tel > "Why shouldn't ?" > "I'lI buy you lunch > got 10 chicken nuggets

Anonymous (ID: BPWPzZB) 03/20/14(Thu)18:46:40 No. 5381 78074 Replies: 쯔53817850722538178684>>538178684 > day 33 > Ultron guy blabs and tells everyone about google ultron > now everyone in the f------ office has a sharepoint ticket asking for it to be installed > a few of the more competent people are asking me what the f--- google ultron is > I just give them finger guns until they walk away > have to spend entire day going from desktop to desktop pretending to di google ultron > literally spend 3-4 hours pretending to dl software that nasa uses > one girl asks me if this even legal > "Are you a cop?" > she reports me to HR for "criminal like behaviour" > have already explained to HR what google ultron is... > HR thinks its real >HR thinks nasa uses it HR tells the narc to stop interfering with important technological matters because the narc doesn't know anything about IT like me > doesn't know anything about IT like me Replies: 538178507

Anonymous (D: 19PWPzZB) 03/20/14(Thu)23:14:21 UTC+1 No.538173375 > day 32 > for some reason the entire office is having to fill in a captcha every time they google anything s have no idea why this happening >Google ultron guy asks me if this has to do with the virus and if he should be backing up his data > "First. Always back up your data. > he nods to my tech sawy > "Second. It's a security measure Ive put in place. There are robots afoot. > he nods again like my word is law

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Anonymous (ID: BPWPzZB) 03/20/14(Thu)18:46:40 No. 5381 78074 Replies: 쯔53817850722538178684>>538178684 > day 33 > Ultron guy blabs and tells everyone about google ultron > now everyone in the f------ office has a sharepoint ticket asking for it to be installed > a few of the more competent people are asking me what the f--- google ultron is > I just give them finger guns until they walk away > have to spend entire day going from desktop to desktop pretending to di google ultron > literally spend 3-4 hours pretending to dl software that nasa uses > one girl asks me if this even legal > "Are you a cop?" > she reports me to HR for "criminal like behaviour" > have already explained to HR what google ultron is... > HR thinks its real >HR thinks nasa uses it HR tells the narc to stop interfering with important technological matters because the narc doesn't know anything about IT like me > doesn't know anything about IT like me Replies: 538178507

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Anonymous (D: 19PWPzZB) 03/20/14(Thu)23:14:21 UTC+1 No.538173375 > day 32 > for some reason the entire office is having to fill in a captcha every time they google anything s have no idea why this happening >Google ultron guy asks me if this has to do with the virus and if he should be backing up his data > "First. Always back up your data. > he nods to my tech sawy > "Second. It's a security measure Ive put in place. There are robots afoot. > he nods again like my word is law

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Anonymous (ID: 19PWPzZB) 03/20/14 (Thu)18:04:38 No.538171954 day 30 >here's where s--- starts to really hit the fan s as you know i had setup a bitcoin mining rig in the server room > it was just eating up all the bandwidth > the whole network was barely operational s and now because of my ineptitude and blaming things on viruses people started a rumour > that the whole network was being attacked by a rogue hacker group > after lunch I get pulled into a meeting by with all the execs > the jig is up > "As you know we ve been experiencing a multitude of issues with our network.. > I'm f----- > "from the lag to the viruses" > so f----- > "We want you to head up the investigation and find out who's doing this and why" ROFL s I am the f------ dirty cop on the force who's tasked with finding the dirty cop > I am the f------ law

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Anonymous (D: 19PWPzZB) 03/20/14(Thu)22:49:11 UTC+1 No.538169931 >day 28 > a guy asks me to burn him a copy of a dvd for a presentation > holy f--- I know how to do that > burn it for him > march back down to his office, proudly holding the dvd high in the air > Woman tries to stop me "Hey can you... > "Not now... Ive got IT business to attend to" > hand the guy his burned dvd s this might be one of the first things Ive done right here > tear in my eye >so proud of how far I have come >I am true IT 5 minutes later I get a call "Hey...yeah there's nothing on the dvd...

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O Anonymous (ID:旧PY PzZB) 03/20/14(Thu)22:44:20 UTC+1 No 5381693 12 Repies >-538169674>>5381700232-538170。23 >day 27 > learn about a remote access tool that the whole office uses > decide to haunt the old nice old lady from before > i randomly move the mouse for a few hours > she struggles to do basic tasks > she comes and asks me for a new mouse > oblige her > hook it up and leave > look back at remote tool > mouse is moving again, she opens up word > I begin to type > "Hi" > no response 3 "Hi" > "Hello? Who is this?" "It's death Replies: 538169674

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O Anonymous (ID: BPWPzZB) 03/20/14 (Thu)22:36:57 UTC +1 No.538 168305 Replies:>>5381688622:538169059 > day 26 > some woman calls me over > "it'll just take a sec, it's super simple > s--- > asks me to hook her up to a new printer > she hops out of her chair and lets me sit down > forget how to add network printers > her and her friend are talking right over my shoulder staring at the screen >"s this going to take long?" > I fake deep thought as I stare at the screen with one hand on my temple > "Anon? I have a deadline is this going to..." >"What the f---..." > both of the women are startled > "THERE'S A VIRUS ON THIS MACHINE > and I just storm offlike I'm p----- Replies: 538168862 538169059

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Avengers: Age of Google Ultron

AVENGERS MARVEL

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Can anyone help me install Google Ultron? My colleague swears it's better than the default internet. Can anyone help me upgrade? Is it free? A ..show more Answer Other Answers (5) Oldest HonestCanadian is an absolute liar. It's an amazing browser years ahead of everything else. I think the beta period has ended so you may have to wait until it's released officially, just like Google Plus. Even NASA uses it. 2 James answered 6 hrs ago restart your computer and update adobe z777ik answered 4 hrs ago Bring up task manager and close it after you download adobe. Then you will be using Google Ultron. Rate Bitchpants Mc'crabby answered 29 mins ago ts not normally used on regular computers. if you really want it you might want to talk to your IT guy about installing it for you. Rate Random Guy answered 25 mins ago You need to download/upgrade adobe reader and restart your computer. If you have Google Chrome uninstall that before turning off your computer. If you don't, I recommend downloading it since it will make the process easier. Once you computer in on, you should have Google Ultron.

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WHAT IF ITOLD YOU GOOGLE ULTRON IS REAL made on imgur

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NASA

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ultron DOWNLOAD CHROME CHROMEBOOKS CHROMECAST、一 NA Google Ultron Used by NASA, Powered by Adobe Reader. Powered by Adobe Reader The Adobe reader engine not only helps display your webpages much faster and more accurately, it also protects your PC from viruses & makes your PC over 90009% faster! 月AM / New Tab a YouTube CN Sear Did You Know? Ultron is the first browser to ship with Ask toolbar by default! Learn More Zero-Gravity Proof! Bypass! Download RAM! Design Ultron, unlike other browsers, is made to function in zero-gravity without any errors. That's why NASA uses it in space. Bypass takes Ultron's incognito mode to a whole new level. Not only is your history not recorded, Ultron bypasses all workplace restrictions on p--- and gambling websites Browse the web with a familiar look- It looks like Google Chrome, but it's really Ultron, no one else can tell You can now download more RAM using Ultron! Learn More Security Safety Fallback Autofill Pink! Passwor City San Francisco State California code 94110 SAFETY FIRST Ultron brings to you the best in security and encryption, directly taken from IE 5.5. In the new version, If Ultron is infected by Jitterbug, Ultron automatically deletes itself & Adobe Reader, and makes Internet Explorer your default browser to keep you safe. Never fill a form again! Ultron knows all your information by hacking your computer and retrieving data from your SSN Credit Card and Email. Ultron is scientifically proven to run up to 25% faster when run in pink. Use it in pink now!

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