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fulgur-caligo-custodis kurlyfryz Power move: Next time you go to the airport, bring a bottle of shampoo, but it's filled with yogurt. When they tell you that liquids aren't allowed Drink it Posted in r/madlads by u/ProbablyM_S reddit

lesbianshepard Jul 24 travelling next week for work. googled the nearest city and none of you are prepared to see what passes for the local style pizza. lesbianshepard Jul 24 this should be a crime lesbianshepard Jul 25 #someone needs to die for this #divorced dad type food #is the local chef a 12 year old latchkey kid? #as a new yorker im about to k J elf #abolish all prisons except one for these guys #that is a crime where I'm from #I'm anti regional food variation shaming but this is a crime man #mamma mia. #i took like a deep shuddering breath #i feel nauseous. #oh no they should be shot #literally the closest thing to anti-Italian racism the reviews are in: Pennsylvania must pay for its crimes

theaccidentfactory Follow I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby theaccidentfactory English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking s about the neighbor's son

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Brutal

akashicrecord Follow 6 year old asked me why i dont like mr beast and i didnt have an answer that a small child could understand so i said he tried to eat a homeless person a long time ago littlefirefly42 Follow Spreading misinformation to children because you don't believe they're mature enough to understand a topic is actually not a good thing. At all. punkitt-is-here Follow it's true tho he ate that homeless person up. He went yum yum and it was brutal

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It's probably none

viva-1a-resistance Follow i really love the phrase "with all due respect" because it doesn't specify how much respect is due. could be none. b ☐ 104.4K notes D D

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Get it?

anonymous asked Guess what? I invented a new word: Plagiarism Wh good--mens good--mens I'm reblogging this because I just got the joke

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When does it end?

pawgliacci 601 on Follow At the end of my rope and it keeps getting longer like some sort of clown handkerchief bit?

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I hate it

i-am-a-fish Oct 24 I'm currently testing the limits of my antidepressants by rewatching Breaking Bad i-am-a-fish Oct 25 unrelated can someone please reply with an image of a dog or something and also please tell me that Jesse Pinkman is going to be okay? no rush but I'd like this as soon as possible please honeyedheartss☺ Follow Oct 25 you are going to be OK ok so I definitely misread your post but by the time I realized the image was made i-am-a-fish Oct 25 = this image has done irreparable damage to my mind 19,821 notes

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Wait, what?

teslacoils-and-hubris Follow Dec 25, 2023 No it's not that I don't appreciate the flirting, I just wish you wouldn't do it while I'm in the middle of vivisecting you. Yes I know that it's really hot when I'm covered in your blood elbow deep in your chest cavity that's why I keep vivisecting you. But I keep getting flustered and dropping your liver and its really slippery so I keep dropping it over and over again leading to very comedic slapstick comedy where I slip on your blood and fall over really funny 15,199 notes D

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Ah, polls

tlirsgender Seguir The poll feature really took off because it taps into tumblr's favorite activity: being extremely opinionated about things that don't matter dragonprincessmew 134.729 notas -I will die on any hill. Seguir D

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Priorities

toastella-art Surprised you Yeah Im haven't HOLY SPIDERMAN gone to therapy since your dad died- Assured a real life moment between my boyfriend and i

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Rock and roll

schizoauthoress Today I learned that Van Halen have that rider in their contract about "a bowl of M&Ms with all the brown ones removed" in order to know at a glance if the promoter read the entire contract. And the reason they do THAT is because they once had a stage collapse because a promoter hadn't read the proper way to set up all the specific technical stuff. So if the band goes in the dressing room or catering and sees brown M&Ms, they know they have to double-check the stage setup for safety. lunaesteria now that's rock n roll

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Valid

pukicho We are a very very dumb, stupid people Blaze 5,840 notes

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This is accurate

macklesufficient Follow guide 4 teens tell the cops nothing tell the paramedics everything ur eyebrows are fine 090 89,249 notes

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Oh, good

klefable what happens to all your teen angst when you're 20... like where does it go anabundanceofstilinskis they diagnose it as anxiety Source: klefable 483,056 notes

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+3

Tumblr - Now now...

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