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akashicrecord Follow 6 year old asked me why i dont like mr beast and i didnt have an answer that a small child could understand so i said he tried to eat a homeless person a long time ago littlefirefly42 Follow Spreading misinformation to children because you don't believe they're mature enough to understand a topic is actually not a good thing. At all. punkitt-is-here Follow it's true tho he ate that homeless person up. He went yum yum and it was brutal

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homunculus-argument My theory is that ghosts get their energy by sucking the oil out of door hinges. That's how you know a place is haunted. Because the doors creak, even if you've just oiled them. The ghosts suck the oil out.

kaijuno Follow Are you tired? Come scream with us, at the bog meetings every half moon at 3 a.m. Blaze 9,247 notes D

thx Follow call out post HELLO??? IS ANYONE THERE???????? achivement-unlocked Achievement unlocked! Hello world! Is anyone there..? #I intend for you to read this in the portal turret voice. ok goodbye #normal gameplay 104,032 notes D

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It's probably none

viva-1a-resistance Follow i really love the phrase "with all due respect" because it doesn't specify how much respect is due. could be none. b ☐ 104.4K notes D D

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Get it?

anonymous asked Guess what? I invented a new word: Plagiarism Wh good--mens good--mens I'm reblogging this because I just got the joke

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When does it end?

pawgliacci 601 on Follow At the end of my rope and it keeps getting longer like some sort of clown handkerchief bit?

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I hate it

i-am-a-fish Oct 24 I'm currently testing the limits of my antidepressants by rewatching Breaking Bad i-am-a-fish Oct 25 unrelated can someone please reply with an image of a dog or something and also please tell me that Jesse Pinkman is going to be okay? no rush but I'd like this as soon as possible please honeyedheartss☺ Follow Oct 25 you are going to be OK ok so I definitely misread your post but by the time I realized the image was made i-am-a-fish Oct 25 = this image has done irreparable damage to my mind 19,821 notes

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Wait, what?

teslacoils-and-hubris Follow Dec 25, 2023 No it's not that I don't appreciate the flirting, I just wish you wouldn't do it while I'm in the middle of vivisecting you. Yes I know that it's really hot when I'm covered in your blood elbow deep in your chest cavity that's why I keep vivisecting you. But I keep getting flustered and dropping your liver and its really slippery so I keep dropping it over and over again leading to very comedic slapstick comedy where I slip on your blood and fall over really funny 15,199 notes D

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Ah, polls

tlirsgender Seguir The poll feature really took off because it taps into tumblr's favorite activity: being extremely opinionated about things that don't matter dragonprincessmew 134.729 notas -I will die on any hill. Seguir D

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Priorities

toastella-art Surprised you Yeah Im haven't HOLY SPIDERMAN gone to therapy since your dad died- Assured a real life moment between my boyfriend and i

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Rock and roll

schizoauthoress Today I learned that Van Halen have that rider in their contract about "a bowl of M&Ms with all the brown ones removed" in order to know at a glance if the promoter read the entire contract. And the reason they do THAT is because they once had a stage collapse because a promoter hadn't read the proper way to set up all the specific technical stuff. So if the band goes in the dressing room or catering and sees brown M&Ms, they know they have to double-check the stage setup for safety. lunaesteria now that's rock n roll

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Valid

pukicho We are a very very dumb, stupid people Blaze 5,840 notes

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This is accurate

macklesufficient Follow guide 4 teens tell the cops nothing tell the paramedics everything ur eyebrows are fine 090 89,249 notes

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Oh, good

klefable what happens to all your teen angst when you're 20... like where does it go anabundanceofstilinskis they diagnose it as anxiety Source: klefable 483,056 notes

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So nice

66 hnggggproblems you're so considerate!" Haha thanks, I was raised in constant fear of upsetting people so yknow * fingerguns * nitrostreak Today someone told me I'm nice and I literally said "thanks it's the emotional trauma" 41,368 notes D

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Know Your Meme

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