Anon’s Special Ability | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

☐ Anonymous (ID: Z+J8N2A) 09/27/24(Fri)22:15:03 No.483000621 >>483000831 >>483000936 >>483001175 >"Dog attacks small chi-<< >"Pitbull" >"Next. 'Why having kids-" >"Jewish." >"Next. 'Group of young-" >"Black." >"Incredible... 347 headlines, 347 correct guesses..."

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Anonymous 03/16/23(Thu)14:34:40 No.92128194 File: Alpha and his watch.png (1.59 MB, 1102x1190) >>92118515 (OP) >be me >buy casio f91w watch >only $10, such a steal >wear it everywhere >people ask "is that a rolex?" >nah bro, it's a casio f91w >they look disappointed > little do they know, it's the real flex >accidentally drop it, still works >try to scratch the screen, impossible >it's like a little tank on my wrist >even have a stopwatch, so fancy >forget to take it off in the shower, no problem >water-resistant af >never taking this bad boy off >Casio F91W gang for life

File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

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Conflict at the entrance | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 121 KB JPG animal crossing 10/11/24(Fri)08:07:42 No. 102772030 >a girl gamer joins vc >Is that a real girl, I say >Uh... Yes??? She stutters >I LAUGH >How many hours have you played >Ummm..... 600 hours >I SEEEEE >And how many hours have you put into tf2 mlady >Uhhhh..... She is beginning to crumble >Nine? >Me and my boys bust out laughing >Girl gamer? >More like girl LAME ER >She starts to audibly cry >What did you think your little baby game for girls makes you a gamer? >Animal crossing is a literal CHILDRENS game >She is begging us now >But I am a cool girl you guys I know python >What did you do, copy paste python from Google >Make the LEDS light up >She is sobbing >laaaaammeeeeerrrrr >She shouts "this is why women are discouraged from male communities" >good I shout we don't want your stinky p---- in STEM or gaming >She disconnects >My bros all rejoice >We did a good thing today

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Advanced Micro Tactics | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Rumored RTX 5000 GPU price leaks are shocking- Nvidia should just call the RTX 5090 a Titan if it's going to charge up to $2,500 for it That's a worst-case soman but the cast for $2,000 yes you read that ri 00000 295 KB PNG 10/10/24(Thu)19:19:56 No.691449515 >CPU tech stagnates for years while getting more expensive because of Intel's arrogance, AMD proceeds to blow them the f--- out with Ryzen >GPU tech has now been stagnating for years while getting more expensive because of Nvidia's arrogance Will AMD and Intel save us?

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Changing tides | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous STOP LOSING YOUR F------ HAIR 10/08/24(Tue) 07:22:13 No. 18272862 >be me >start losing hair at 18 >terrified to start finasteride >start minoxidil >buys some time but hair still receding 1.06 MB JPG >6 years go by >almost nw3 >f--- it >make topical finasteride equalling 0.20mg daily >hairs growing back >literally zero side effects is this normal bros? what the f---

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Thoughts on a line where I leave it all behind | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 439 KB PNG 10/11/24(Fri)06:45:00 No.79086903 >be me >fat >perceived as lazy even when im stressed the f--- out from what i consider to be "work" >watch jordan peterson talk about anxiety >realise my goal is far beyond my ability and energy availability So what do i do? >look around my room >realise i've been here for far too long and im surrounded by trash >start cleaning up Suddenly anxiety is gone https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eb_jGEa6Kgs [Open] Moral of the story? Do what you have the energy for to remove your anxiety what do you all think?

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Reichsbank | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/08/24(Mon) 18:43:10 No.2752502 IMG_0802.jpg 2.33 MB JPG >set out a trap >dont even bait it with food >catch not one but two of these c---- explain

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Wild sexual awakening | /r/Greentext

File: eos.jpg (4 KB, 225x225) >Ohfuck.png >Won't come out >Try with my fingers, can't get a grip >Try to push it out, won't budge >Am alone at house so freak >Text mom >She responds only with *sigh* Anonymous 10/10/24(Thu)20:08:18 No.925755616 ► Any down bad horny stories? I'll go first >Be me >Be 16 >Be f-- >Like it up the butt >Used toys before but want to be freakier >See EOS lip balm in storage box >Idea.jpeg >Think it will feel like a--- beads >Lube it up and start the insertion >Feels good man at first >Get it halfway in >Suddenly ass makes a shlorping noise and sucks it in >Read online that a warm bath helps relax muscles >Soak for two hours, no movement >Start fearing the worst >Overwhelmed but decide to try and go to bed >Somehow able to fall asleep >Wake up at 4am >Need to s---, bad >Tired and forgot situation >Sleepily run to toilet >Hereitcomes.exe >Take the biggest s--- of my life >Look down >Pic rel >Remember predicament I was in >Remember shame >At least it's over >Don't talk to mom for several days >She's never looked at me the same No matter what you think, s--- will get stuck up there. Don't do it b, it's not worth it

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Anon got Jumped | /r/Greentext

Anonymous f------ 10/10/24(Thu)19:16:59 No.79084646 239 KB JPG >be hood dude >live with your mom in a low- income suburb >wake up excited to meet with gang >put on your reddest jacket and your saggiest pants, feel thankful you had the money to buy Ethika graphic underwear instead of sharing a pair with your homies >make sure your ass cheek fat slightly hangs over the trim of your jeans >meet up at random sidewalk, take pictures together with the group glock (badass!!!) >discuss making colorful music about people you dislike, in hopes they respond >see your opps drive down the road in their group 2001 Nissan Altima >'nows my time to shine! I'm so excited!' >fire 7 times in their vague direction (you never practiced at the range) >break your wrist from the recoil and miss every shot >become victim of police brutality and go to prison for 2 years >get anally r---- daily by other men don't mess with gangs bro don't go on that side of town bro gangs arent to be messed with bro

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Head on the ground and my thoughts on the ceiling | /r/Greentext

Anonymous THINK I'M GOING TO CRY. 240 KB JPG 10/10/24(Thu)20:15:44 No.203260960 >go to a Lab from the final year >go there early to find the place >everyone thinks I'm a Post-Grad student and asks me for directions >am actually a 27 YO who's being kicked out >paired with a 9/10 blue-eyed blonde, another guy and a gal >was harder than I had heard, even though the professors were lenient >hadn't practised those theories in 7 years; couldn't put the theory into practise >kept fumbling the experiments the entire time >my eyes started tweaking like a retard's because I've got ticks >people took notice because I couldn't hide it and would make fun of me >all of them knew each other; nobody even asked my name >ended the class wanting to drop it, but it's hard to find something at a last moment's notice to try and reach the quota >kept mumbling to myself on the way home, talking to myself in the bus, the road, the supermarket >finally reached my room whereupon I started punching myself in the face and whipping my balls with my belt to deal with how much of a subhuman I am How's the Uni experience in your c---?

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Anon is going to take you back to the past | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/08/24(Tue)17:15:53 No.102733067 *helps you live in the moment* *fixes your attention span* *saves you money on data* 346 KB PNG : Anonymous 10/08/24(Tue)17:17:29 No.102733084 >>102733067 (OP) # >takes you an hour to type out the op using T9 >>102733159 # >>102734364 # >>102734469 # >>102735144 # >>102735931 Anonymous 10/08/24(Tue)19:34:48 No.102735144 >>102733084 # skill issue im faster on t9 than any shitscreen keyboard 08 # lo.102733092

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Anon loves futurama | /r/Greentext

24 KB GIF I used to have 50,000 posts on a f------ really weird, small, Futurama forum. There were only about 50 posters on the entire board. For some reason I literally roleplayed as Kif (the frog who was a slave to Zapp Brannigan) in every single f------ post. I remember that the other posters would say things like 'post your penis again for me Kif with a picture of Zapp and I would do it (after using photoshop to make my d--- green). I was basically a f------ sx slave for 50,000 posts. I remember on one occasion a girl came onto the board and I really liked her, but instead of talking to her like a normal human I tried to pick her up by writing an extensive, 1200 word post describing the backrub I gave to Zapp Brannigan. I hate that part of my life almost as bad as this current one.

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Circle with me | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/10/24(Thu)14:26:41 No.102760650 >the year is 2035 >robo girlfriends are a thing >but somehow it is easier to have sex with real women due to censorship 501 KB JPG

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Anon buys Nintendo’s Alarmo Clock ⏰ | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/10/24(Thu)04:58:28 No.691423270 9:23 alarmo.jpg 159 KB JPG >TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK >BINGBINGBINGWAHOOWAHOOBINGWAHOOBIN GBINGBINGHEREWEGOO0000BINGBINGBING >Please..Alarmo. Five more minutes. >NO-A-WAY! YOU MUSTA WAKE UP TO SLAVE FOR MISTER GOLDSTEIN! >Alarmo... I feel sick. I can't keep waging like this >BINGBINGBINGWAHOOWAHOOBINGBINGBING BINGYIPPEEE >I think I should quit my job, Alarmo.. >HOW-A YOU AFFORD-A THE SWITCH 2, THEN? >I don't know, Alarmo.. >BINGBINGBING WAHOOWAHOOBINGWAHOOBINGBINGHEREWE >Alarmo. I'm getting up. Just two more minutes, okay? >DO THE-A CHANT! >No. >DO THE CHANT! >I-It's a Super Mario Day.. We live our Super Mario Way.. To buy products every-Super-Mario-day.. >SAY THE LAST LINE LIKE YOU MEAN IT, DO IT! >F-F--- Palworld.. >BINGBINGBINGWAHOOWAHOOBINGBINGBING BINGWAHOOWAHOO

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